To ask for how you remind yourself it is JUST a job

[MakeAHouseAHome]

This is certaibly fuelled by the post Christmas/back to work depression but I was horrified about just how anxious and stressed I was about returning to work. I enjoy what I actually do. But my boss makes my life at work a misery.

So AIBU to ask you to share with me the ways you remind yourself it is JUST a job and that life is too short to make yourself stressed about it.

How do you make yourself switch off at 'home time', I don't check emails or anything but find my evenings are preoccupied with worrying about work the next day/what has happened that day.

Exercise

Minimum alcohol as that makes me worse

Focus on family and friends

Relaxing hobbies

Job hunting

So needed this. Am sat in the car (v early) trying to sum up the motivation to go in vs the sinking feeling of dread...although there's really nothing wrong with my job and I'm very lucky to have it. I tell myself frequently how lucky I am, how it suits my family life relatively well considering how much it pays. I find job hunting actually makes me worse because realistically, I can't find better anywhere so it just makes me restless and discontent. Agree with you about the perma job anxiety. Holidays!! booking holidays throughout the year to work towards.

Sorry to derail but for most of us it’s not just a job.
It’s mortgage payment.
It’s heating on.
It’s food on the table.

It’s shit - and family life that keeps me going

Yes obviously you need the money but what I mean is unless you are BAD at your job or commit gross misconduct they can't fire you. So more, how do you remind yourself you will still have a job veen if you don't stress yourself out to the nth degree about it.

Our jobs are quite a bit part of a lot of us so although it is 'just a job' we become quite invested in it. We tend to develop relationships with the people we work with and our routine is built around going to work so I guess we worry about not having that?

I'm a teacher and mostly, I really enjoy my job. Like every job, it has it's issues at times but the school I work in us, on the whole, great. One thing a colleague did and suggested to me when things were tough is to write down something positive each day. Sounds a bit odd but it remind you if why you do it!

Get a life, I mean that in the nicest possible sense, see your job as a means to an end...it provides the means to support the family and funds something you enjoy like a hobby or sport etc.
That way you have a life and the job is just a thing that allows the life to happen.

I know this feeling 😳 I only work pt and I still get it especially on a Sunday evening. That lurching school night dread that you have to be there and no choice about it.

One thing I try to remember are the good bits. It’s never as bad being there doing it, as the thought of it. I like most of the people I work with, the camaraderie and feeling part of their team.

Also that feeling that I did something well and got paid for my time. I never get that buzz from being at home just ploughing through stuff.

I also try to remind myself that home and family life can make me feel really stressed too and that work is often a break from other specific areas of worry in my life.

I still have to psych myself up for it and give myself a talking to to get there. I think the worst bit is the first hour. After that I’m up and running and ok with it again.

Reading back your op though House if anything or anyone was making my life a misery at work I’d be looking for something else or saying something about it. I have bad days at work like anyone but a consistent source of unhappiness would be different. Your boss doesn’t have the right to make you feel miserable all the time x

This is so me right now! Awful isn't it!!! Had no sleep last night, dreaming about people I work with and all sorts. Woke up actually sweating. I log on in 5 and I don't even know what I'm dreading it for to be honest?

I do it by making sure my world doesn’t revolve around it: friends, hobbies, things to look forward to away from work are key.

Please don't allow anyone to make your life a misery. No job description ever contained that clause. If you're being bullied at work complain about it and get it stopped or find another job. Life's too short, believe me, I've been there.

I really struggle with this. I've been so relaxed over the last week and a half and just dead that feeling of knowing that there is always work to be done and I shouldn't be sitting relaxing in the evening.

Make it your priority for this year to change jobs. There must be something else out there. No I can't tell you it's 'just' a job, we spend such a huge part of our life there. And I'm speaking from experience - I had a job I loved, but a boss that made my life absolutely miserable. As you say, it poisons your entire life - evenings spent worrying about what issues the boss will invent tomorrow, worrying what you might have done wrong - it's like an abusive relationship.

I now have the loveliest boss ever and work is a pleasure.

Thank you. I have found this topic really interesting as l am too, not happy at work. The advice on here is really uplifting and is inspiring to look for a new job.

I think, unless you actually detest your job/are being bullied etc which is another kettle of fish, just look on it as light and shade. You need the shade (work) to appreciate the light - holidays, family time, hobbies etc. If everyday were a holiday, it wouldn't be a holiday.

Same here, also add in the constant worry of redundancy, I have insurance but it would be a huge drop. Our company is always making changes and someone goes every couple of months or so. However the salary is pretty good. I think of the weekend and annual leave.

Having a boss that makes you miserable is the absolute worst. I've had one for the past two years who thankfully has just left. I'm due back in next week and the huge relief that she won't be there is amazing. There won't be any snitty sarcastic emails in my in box or 'commands' for tasks that only serve to make her look good. I did try to find other jobs but with this one the flexibility made it hard to find similar that worked around the DC so I had to suck it up. Not sure how this helps OP but just to sympathis really. It's hard to prevent the feeling of dread when it's a person and not the job itself.

Thanks all. I changed jobs at the start of last year (loved my previous job but it was time to move up the career ladder) so feel I can't leave again so soon. It is just such a shame that one person can make such a toxic environment :-(

You can start looking. Or could you move inside the company? Honestly a bad boss makes your entire life miserable, doesn't it. Like a black cloud hanging over everything.

I really don't get why people behave like that. I have a team too and I am pretty sure none of them is dreading coming to work because I'm a bitch.

I want to pick up on two things in your OP.
Work isn't JUST a job, and you say you're making yourself stressed about it.

We spend a great deal of time at work. We should value what we do and feel valued.
If it is just your boss making you feel stressed then you need to change that. Either by taking the proper formal steps (reporting to their superior etc) or you need to change your job (if possible).