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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is wrong? (Love Child - Family Issues)

11 replies

MrDarcyWillBeMine · 02/01/2019 00:33

My cousin has a lovely Italian wife (CW) of 8 years (so much going for her) but for some reason my Aunt/other cousins have never seemed impressed (because she is foreign and they consider themselves too ‘middle class’ 😡)

This summer we found out that cousin (who does suffer MH issues) had a one night stand with an old acquaintance and fathered a little boy (LC- Love child) who is now 2! Nobody knew!

CW was expecting their first child when we found out and despite initially separating have since reconciled!

The OW (other woman) lived abroad and had a big thing about my C. The more we find out the more apparent it is that her end goal is to end up with him! She moved back to England with LC and had integrated herself firmly in with MIL/siblings - Absoloutley no shame 😡 and seems to fully enjoy the drama/hurt she has caused!

OW/ her family (who are now also firmly on the scene) put ALOT of pressure on C to leave his wife and be with OW but cousin wasn’t interested (really does love his wife).

(he’s an arse for doing it but he does love her and they seem very strong again now)

Anyway CW is trying to build bridges with Auntie/cousins and is willing to accept LC into family as knows it’s only right- but Auntie/cousins are lying about/hiding all the contact they are having with OW! On top of that they are openly favouring OW and LC! It seems OW better fits their ‘picture’!

CW had the baby (a little girl) back in November and Aunty/cousins missed the birth as they were in the Caribbean with OW and LC (didn’t telll CW this!) 😮 Then they had OW/LC at theirs for Christmas and told CW they were going away!

It’s all just so shady and deceitful and my poor gran/ grandad keep getting stuck not knowing who has lied about what - to the point that my Gran was in tears saying she (who really likes CW) - can’t look CW in the eye 😞!

I went to visit CW and new baby and felt very sorry for her! I had to watch what I said and it felt wrong! She’s trying to be decent and mend fences and they’re just being so two faced! (But I get they want to know LC and OW is making her/LC a package deal!

I don’t know what to make of it all but feel like it’s very wrong and makes me uncomfortable! AIBU?

I guess It’s not directly affecting me and probably non of my business but it’s so strongly on my mind! I feel awful for her!

OP posts:
ChocolateStash · 02/01/2019 00:38

Z

CrispbuttyNo1 · 02/01/2019 00:39

The poor woman. If I was her I would be on a plane back to Italy and giving my husband an ultimatum to go with her or lose her.

SleepingStandingUp · 02/01/2019 00:41

Well I wouldn't play the game. Don't lie to CE. If something comes up be honest.

MrDarcyWillBeMine · 02/01/2019 00:42

@crisp

I thought that actually ‘I’m surprised she doesn’t go back to Italy with DD and C’ but she is settled here owns a home and has a good job!

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GunpowderGelatine · 02/01/2019 00:44

Leave it be. No good will come of interfering

BTW your cousin is a twat who clearly doesn't love his wife enough to stay faithful, and I don't blame the OW for wanting her son to know his family, nothing shameless about it at all. MH issues are no excuse for his behaviour either

2019rubberband · 02/01/2019 00:45

I think you misunderstand what love child means.

Theunsungsong · 02/01/2019 00:56

My! That sounds complicated!

springydaff · 02/01/2019 01:08

No good will come of interfering?? Wtf??

I would have to tell her. I couldn't stand by and watch her being totally humiliated by these ignorant people (sorry) without telling her what's happening. Then she can make her choice.

Does C know all this and hasn't told her?

ohtheholidays · 02/01/2019 01:58

Your cousin needs to pull his family up on they're shitty behaviour!

If it was me I'd tell them they either stop contacting the OW and treating CW like shit or he'll cut them all off!

What the hell is wrong with them that they think putting the OW above the poor wife is the right thing to do?!

Jamiefraserskilt · 02/01/2019 02:04

C needs to speak to his family about their behaviour. Surely he knows?
C and CW should seriously consider LC/NC
Everyone dragged in peripherally should not even attempt to lie or cover up, that is what Auntie etc is relying on.
C and CW should spend time with those that care and put her first.

MrDarcyWillBeMine · 02/01/2019 10:37

I think he knows but I’m not sure (it’s not been confirmed that they are not also keeping him in the dark)

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