Is anyone else's DH ridiculously noisy

[shpoot]

Kids in bed but 4yo not quite settling. DH decides he's cooking stir fry. Chops veg on glass chopping board with all the might he can muster. Slamming cupboard doors every time he needs something. Opening door and shouting through at 3 million decibels, do you want noodles in it? (Not bothered just be bloody quiet).

It's hardly peaceful and he does it constantly . AIBU to wish he'd be bloody quiet and should just be grateful he's cooking my tea?!

Oh yes... I'm mostly immune to the sneezing now, thankfully, but I think he realised how loud it was when I said "bless you" when I walked in the front door. Our house is fully double glazed, yet I'd still heard him when I got out the car!

I've also realised my deaf cat isn't actually fully deaf as even he jumps.

Oh, and he manages to sneeze quietly in the cinema or theatre, but "doesn't find it as satisfying" to sneeze quietly the rest of the time.

He is also a foot stomper. I fear for my downstairs ceilings, especially if he's upstairs when the phone rings - he's a pacer when he's on the phone!

Proper lolled at the angry sneezing my DH is always making noise, if not talking,singing whistling he will hum, even snores when sleeping

Whenever my DH turns over in bed he actually roars. There’s no other way to describe it.

Yes! He drops the heavy wooden toilet seat down, I ask him not to every time as he'll break it but then he does it again. Like ShannonRockallMalin, he does a roar whenever he moves, stands up, sits down. He cannot burp quietly, it's like that scene in Elf when Buddy drinks a bottle of coke, bloody awful.

Oh, and the throat clearing grunting noises! They're non-stop... literally on almost every out breath. I've lately realised my Dad does it too though, so Christmas was fun...

On the plus side, I normally know when DP's about to drop off to sleep as the noises stop... it's only temporary of course because after that the snoring starts...

It's a good job I love him! I also know I'm a snorer too, so I just consider it getting my revenge!

Yes!
Stomping around downstairs after I have gone to bed.
Leaves kitchen door open which is situated at bottom of stsirs, bangs cupboards and microwave door. Rattling cutlery (what IS he looking for?). And constantly coughs loudly.
Then stomps upstairs, lands heavily on bed, coughs, mumbles, groans.
SHUT UP!!!!

I love him really but honestly....

Mine too. His family are all the same though. They think nothing of having a shouted conversation across different rooms, bang stuff about, tv on ridiculously loudly- I can’t bear it!

He doesn’t do the sneezing though, his dad does it and he can see how ridiculously annoying it is. I would divorce him if he did. I cannot stand it!!!

My DH does everything loudly. Yawns sneezes farts walks talks and whispers extremely loudly. Has the telly/music loud all the time. Everything is loud plus he leaves for work at 5am so yep. Love him though.

Yes but he has the excuse of coming from a profoundly deaf household where no one gave a shit!!

I HOWEVER FEEL LIKE OUR HOME IS CONSTANTLY UNDER ATTACK!!!!!!!

Mine has the ability to crunch a doughnut

I clomp around like an elephant in doc martens, am a bit deaf so shout a touch, sneeze loudly and all doors are closed with what is best described as a hulk like level of force.

I fear I may be permanently waking the baby up when it arrives

Mine is going deaf in his middle age, but won't get tested. He has the TV and anything else on far too loud until one of the rest of us goes in to complain.

He is a loud sneezer too, but unfortunately so am I.

My DH isn't that bad, it's only his snoring that is a problem, my DF though is another matter, I spend a lot of time at theirs so my DS can have his afternoon nap uninterrupted when I collect my DD from school as there is always someone else there by that point, and my DF slams doors really loudly and his sneezing, it sounds like an elephant is in the room sneezing, makes you jump if he is behind you and you aren't expecting it, it isn't just one either he sneezes at least 6 times in a row. He yawns loudly too, I have actually caught myself doing the same on a few occasions

Yes! DS2 has ADHD, so has a 3 hour winding down period during which nobody's supposed to raise their voice. He'll start ranting at ridiculous things, then DS2's up until 10.

Haha @whatamidoingwithmylife, my partner walks like a cat and keeps terrifying the life out of me in the night - our toddler will wake, I'll go in and settle her, then I'll think "I'll just pop for a wee before I go back to bed" and find him stood there silently in the dark bathroom ,The Phantom Piddler" - gives me a bloody heart attack every time!! Make some bloody NOISE when you pass down the corridor, man!

It's happened so often he's started shouting "Sorry!" just as I'm about to open the bathroom door - which of course makes me shit myself as well

Mines the opposite! He’s a freak of nature. Somehow this 6ft4 14 stone man just appears next to me and he scares the shit out of me. I also sometimes have to check he’s still alive in his sleep as he’s completely silent. (Unless drunk, then it’s like sleeping next to King Kong)

@C8H10N4O2 yep, I tell him over and over but he doesn't think he's loud! Constant loud videos blaring out of his phone, crash, bang, wallop wherever he goes and scaring little old ladies to death with his shouty sneezing. But he's not loud, honest

Mine always noisy, says I imagine it. The only time I can sleep when he is up is when he’s watching porn, for some reason he can shut all of the doors and be very quiet at this time.

My blood pressure is up just reading this.
Why can't they shut a door without banging it?! I've come down in the morning to a defrosted freezer coz he's just given it a lazy arsed thump, it's banged back off itself, so not shut and then it's been churning away all night. The cupboard doors bumpety bump shut coz he just thumps them.
He shouts in his sneezes. He breathes like Darth Vader. He stomps upstairs. Grrrrr! Flipping men!

God yes.

Loud snoring

Loud coughing

Loud sneezing

And the bellowing instead of talking

Goes straight through me every single time....

But he's not loud, honest

Book him in for a hearing test.

He either has reduced hearing or he is being a bit of a twat. If multiple people tell you that the volume is too high or that you make a lot of incidental noise and you don't recognise it then it has to be one or the other.

In my case it was a bit of both - he does have some hearing loss and needed reminding of how bloody annoying some of that incidental noise could be. The hearing test did force him to take it seriously.

OMG yes - my DH thinks he is a silent type but he makes so much bloody noise, he decides to put the clean dishes away when DD is just falling to sleep - I swear he throws each thing into the drawer or cupboard, toilet in the night.....loud....looking for his glasses, jeez switch the light on then you can find them rather than rustling around in the dark for 15 mins and if he is up early then we are all up early.....as for the sneezing...FFS it isn't loud but he has a thing where he sneezes violently until he blows his nose really hard - I swear he needs some kind of operation so when he first sneezes instead of blowing his nose immediately we have to go through at least 10 sneezes, a comment about how he now has a cold & isn't that just great timing (it's never a cold) until he actually blows his frigging nose. Plus if something is on TV he seems to think it's ok to either listen to a music video on youtube at the same time or play his guitar GAH!!!

Yes, yes and yes! I love my DH to the moon and back but our 7 month old son really struggles to get to sleep, especially if he's overtired, and this means I have to rock him to sleep for at least half an hour each time it's coming up to naptime or bedtime.

We're currently co-sleeping as he's going through a huge sleep regression and he won't sleep in his own bed (I don't mind this.)
However, my DH/son's father watches videos on the highest possible volume on his phone, if I am trying to settle DS in his own room, he comes in and speaks in the loudest voice possible, or has the TV on so loud I can barely hear my own thoughts.

However, I don't complain at him as I don't want to argue over it. But it does get me

Mine can also be noisy.

On his lie in day : I simply get up, go downstairs and read a book, quietly feed cats, make a tea or whatever, whilst he has an extra hour in bed in peace

On my lie in day: dh wakes up, opens curtains to 'check the weather', wanders out bedroom leaving door open. Then leaving bathroom door opposite open takes a ridiculously long shower the second he's awake, and then cleans his teeth with a super loud electric toothbrush on the super long super clean mode, all whilst the bedroom and bathroom doors are open. Then he starts calling the cats like he's lost a child. and on and on

No, he’s very quiet. Very quiet and polite.
But my dad was incredibly noisy, and physically bouncing all over the place all the fucking time. And inconsiderate and irritated if asked to turn it down.
I chose my partner wisely.