To bed fed up of football

[Passthepigs]

DH supports a local (20 miles away) team. He had a season ticket and goes to all home matches, plus many away matches too if they are drivable in a few hours.

Problem is a 90 minute home match takes him away for the entire afternoon. An away game is usually most of the day and into evening.

AIBU to say I refuse to look after our 2 year old DS next time there is a game on? I’m fed up of the assumption I’m going to be willing to do the childcare while he peruses his hobby.

I teach and therefore need 3/4 hours at the weekend to get planning marking done. Because I have DS all day Saturdays while DH is out I have to do this on a Sunday meaning we don’t get any family time as a 3, and I don’t get any time to do anything for myself without DS in tow.

Goodness, you can't have it all! You seem to be demanding a lot. Stop the swimming and get Dh to agree to only home games, for a period of time, to see if that's enough.

2 year olds have splash time, fun time in the pool. They really don't learn how to swim. I love swimming and used to give lessons but believe me, he won't learn to swim at 2yo from a weekly lesson. Take him swimming for fun if you want but let DH take him to toddler group so you can have every Saturday morning to yourself.

It’s a league 2 team!
That doesn't make any difference, if he is a fully signed up season ticket, away match supporter. speaks from bitter experience

@llangennith he has made loads of progress in this class and I don’t think it’s fair on DS to give up something be enjoys and is doing well in. It wouldn’t be for his benefit it would be for mine.

Oblomov18- I’m not demanding anything! I am asking IABU expecting DH to organise the childcare if he chooses to attend an away match. That means I’m willing to continue to do the childcare every other Saturday all afternoon for soon to be two children while he does something he enjoys.

DS’s childcare doesn’t run during school holidays and so whenever I am off work I also have DS to care for. DH doesn’t teach and often chooses to take annual leave when I’m at work so he can go away for the weekend with friends or have a day to himself!

I'm sure he'd enjoy a toddler play session as much as swimming but if you're determined to be a martyr sobeit.

If your 30 weeks pregnant carrying on with a swim session like that will pose a problem soon anyway won’t it?

I am asking IABU expecting DH to organise the childcare if he chooses to attend an away match

If that’s all you want from DH, then no, YANBU to ask him to do this.

But it sounds like you have bigger problems anyway, if DH takes annual leave without you (unless you don’t mind this?) Especially as you have a second DC on the way.

If I was you, I’d be sitting down with DH and working out how you can balance work, childcare, family time, and equal time for each of you to have to yourself, before the arrival of your baby.

Geting DH to organise a babysitter or other responsible adult to look after your children when he goes away rather than take you for granted being at home is not unreasonable.

When do you get time off to do something you enjoy? Things are not equal here. You need equal time off too. If he spends half to a whole day away, you should get that equal amount of time off at the weekend too. I.e. if he does this on a Saturday, you do something on a Sunday.

However I'm concerned that you need time away from children to complete your work not to enjoy a recreational activity like he does. To make things equal, you'd need time to work and then ON TOP of that, time for leisure activities.