Teenage son wanting a bike

[SheldonCooper77]

Totally prepared to be told I ABU. DS1 who is 16 is desperate for a bike. He wants to use it to get to college and to get to friends houses who do not live locally.
I've said he can have one if he uses a helmet but he's adamant that won't wear one.
So AIBU to say no, not having one unless you have a helmet.

I would make him watch some videos on YouTube about aquired brain injuries and then let him decide for himself. In our house 16 was the age where we really cut the apron strings and gave the children guidence but ultimately let them make their own life choices. If he is fully aware of the potential consequences of not wearing a helmet and decides to anyway I think you have to let him crack on with it and just know that you armed him with all the information you possibly could and any outcome, good or bad, is completely his own doing.

What is wrong with teenagers these days? Whatever happened to "yes of course I will mum" and then just taking it off when out of sight of your house?!

Idk if yabu op. On the one hand he should wear a helmet, for safety. On the other I remember being 16, safety was at the bottom of my priority list and I would have no more worn a bike helmet than I would have worn American tan tights and sensible shoes.

Is he buying the bike or are you?

I think it's perfectly fine to say that. Your issue with a teenager is how you ensure they actually wear one. Personally I'd rather my teen told me he wouldn't wear a helmet than pretend to wear one to keep me happy and take it off once out of sight.

How would he get to college/friends' houses otherwise?

Tricky one. YNBU to want him to wear a helmet, but even if he agrees to wear one there's no way you can guarantee that he won't take it off as soon as he's out of your sight. Unfortunately, because of the way teenagers' brains are developing they are risk takers and find it difficult to think long term. Image and the opinion of friends are going outweigh the risks of dangers in your son's mind.

I think all you can do is try persuade him of the risks of not wearing a helmet (there must be stuff out on the internet) and show him that professional cyclists wear them.

Years ago I worked in a care home for people who had sustained brain injuries. One of them was a teenager who had been knocked off bike as a boy. The brain injury that he had sustained meant that he would never be able to live independently. I'm too wimpy to cycle on roads myself but if I did I'd certainly always wear a helmet.

Stick to your guns. You are absolutely right.

My son came off his bike and was hit by a car a year and a half ago.
He was very very lucky and got away with a horrible facial injury that caused him to look horrendous for a few weeks and not to be able to see out of one eye for a while.
He now has a permanent scar.
I still can't drive down that road without thinking about how close he came to being killed.
He has only been on his bike once since and he wore his helmet.

He would be buying the bike himself and he usually gets the bus to college or to friends. Sometimes one of us will pick him up or take him if we're able to.
I've been through all the scenarios with him and totally get that at 16 it's not cool to wear a helmet. However, the thought of him coming off it terrifies me.
We have the electric 'boris' bikes in our area and he has occasionally used those but I obviously don't know that till after the fact.

What is wrong with teenagers these days? Whatever happened to "yes of course I will mum" and then just taking it off when out of sight of your house?!
I know right, he asked me once if he could buy an Ecig. What's wrong with just bloody buying one and not telling me like I did with fags at 16!

expensive but would he wear something like this?

I had a friend whose brother was roughly the same age and was cycling on a country lane (with helmet). He doesn't remember what happened but assumes he was clipped by a car or tractor or something, but ended up with no teeth, completely smashed jaw and many broken bones. The docs said the only reason he's still alive is because he was wearing a helmet.

Problem is 16 yr olds care more about appearances than potential accidents and still have that crazy notion that it 'couldn't possibly happen to them'.

Aside from scaring him with these stories in the hope he sees sense, I don't know how you can convince him unfortunately.

I think you should offer to buy the helmet for him but otherwise let him decide (no harm in watching those you tube videos). Skate hut has some ‘cooler’ ones.
The health benefits of regular cycling far outweigh the risk of injury. I think it’s about one accident of any sort per 1,000 miles cycled - but please don’t ask for my source!

Is it worth trying to get him involved in it as a sport as well? Whether it's MTBing, Road or track racing, BMX or cyclocross, you wouldn't be able to train, race go on a club run without a helmet. I work for the governing body and for our riders, helmets are second nature - they just don't even think about it. Wiggins, Froome, MacAskill are amazing cyclists and always wear helmets. Within the sport it's actually not cool to NOT wear a helmet (you would be laughed at) and if he goes down the MTB/MBX/hybrid route there are some pretty cool urban helmets he can get.

[[https://goo.gl/images/mS4X4W show him
this]]

I'd also make it a condition that he does some kind of bike right course before he gets the bike, especially as he won't be driving yet, so he'll have no road sense. Most councils offer them for free or at low cost. A Pro-Viz coat or backpack cover is also really good - not as nerdy as flouro yet massively high viz at night.

And to put things into perspective - accidents are rare. I've done around 3,000 miles per year for the last six years and had one accident - slipped on some ice going up a hill and broke my wrist. I have had a couple of very close shaves, but never been hit.

A colleague of mine went out for a ride one weekend. He did a small swerve to avoid a bird in the road and hit a smallish stone. Went over his handlebars, landing on his head.
He was in a coma for 3 months, spent the next 6 learning to walk, talk, eat, swallow, and was left with long term issues.
His helmet was flat where it had absorbed a lot of the impact, and he was told that he would have absolutely died without it. A completely normal day, no one else involved (apart from the bird), no ones fault. But wearing a helmet saved his life. Worth the very mild inconvenience imo

Can you agree with him to do cycle training? I’ve done it and found it incredibly helpful even though I was a fairly experienced cyclist already. It’s definitely made me much better at navigating traffic safely. If you’re in London (I assume as you’re mentioning Boris bikes?) a lot of councils offer free or subsidised lessons. You learn how to anticipate dangerous situations and steer clear of them. He might be more agreeable to this as he can acquire extra skills.

OP do you mean bicycle or motorbike?

YANBU at all, I wouldn't allow mine to ride without a helmet.

get him a moped. Them he will wear a helmet, and he'll be happier than having to pedal.

She must mean a bike as with a motorbike helmets are the law. All the serious looking cyclists I see in my city wear helmets. Does your ds have a particularly bouffant hair do? Can’t see the problem with wearing one for his commute it’s just part of cycling.

Teenagers are more difficult I appreciate but the kids I nanny do not get on their bike or scooter without a helmet. No helmet, no ride. I’ll be the same with DS. For me it’s absolutely non negotiable. Agree though that he might take it off anyway

Yes a push bike. Not in London but we do have the boris type bikes here.
I'm reading these responses to him but still not getting anywhere with him.

I've got something like this from old ski days- the original is d30 impact foam.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Snowboard-Beanie-With-Impact-Foam-Boardwise-Clearance/173034271639?hash=item2849a57397:g:HmcAAOSw9hdaM9SL

I don't understand why you wouldn't let your teenager have a bike, but I do agree that he should wear a helmet. So YANBU