Could more issues be resolved if we spoke to each other more?

[minionsrule]

Ok hard hat at the ready.......
I read so many threads where posters are peed off with someone and what they have done (usually neighbours) and the solution seems to be 'pop a note through the door/on windscreen etc' and ask them not to do it anymore'. This then often leads to the note being ignored or a return note delivered!

Is it just me or does anyone else think this is a really weird thing to do? I have never posted a note nor received a note and i have had neighbours for 30 years .A neighbour did once complain to our letting agents about our parking once which actually got my back up more as if he had just knocked on the door and told me the issue i would have been happy to work with him.

If you think neighbours are intimidating that you cannot have a conversation with them, is a note really going to help? Can we not just either quietly seethe or actually have a real life conversation?
Just interested in views on this as it seems so...... cop out tactics

I agree. And not just with neighbours. I got a feeling lots of people don't communicate properly even in their relationships.
Polite chat should be first step.

Yes, and as pp said, not just neighbours. So many threads about difficulties with friends or family members where everyone is texting or messaging backwards and forwards. And I think, why not just pick up the phone? Or even go and see the person?

And people in the thread will say 'I'd send a text saying this' - and then write something approaching a novel. Does anyone in RL send, or read, massively long texts like that? In my world, texting is to say things like 'train delayed, will be a bit late'.

Seriously, I think people are losing the ability to communicate face to face. A retired teacher friend of mine said she noticed it in her last few years of teaching, when the first generation that had never known life without the internet and mobile phones was coming up through the school.

Sorry for the essay!

marta i sadly think you could be right with that one. I am happy to text for mundane things but anything more complex, even if not confrontational, i pick up the phone so as to avoid text ping pong... eg trying to arrange a night out

I'd find a note really passive agressive.

Much prefer an actual conversation!

A conversation is good if you're good at communicating that way. If you prefer to consider your response, or perhaps have a tendency to leap on to the defensive, then a conversation isn't the most natural way to address something, and may make things worse.

Passive aggressive notes are bound to create more of a situation, I completely agree.

I also think that if you speak to someone you can gauge their response so in the example of say parking, if someone is constantly blocking you in, you go round and you can see if they give a shit or not so instantly know if they will take action. If you do a note and the behaviour continues then you have the angst of whether they have seen the note or have seen it but ignored it.
Your tone is also clearer when face to face, the written word can be misinterpreted.
If i was an anxious person i would probably do neither as i would spend days worrying how my note gad been received and probably hide away!

I think the lack of communication in our society lately is also part of the cause of the amount of some anxiety people suffer with as well.
People are losing communication skills and so get logically nervous about face to face interaction.

What is saddest to see is the lack of basic communication within family or couples. How can the other person know what you feel/want/need if you don't say it? They can't. And then it causes problems, breakdowns and break ups. Shame. 1 sentence can trully make a difference.

IMHO the lack of social skills we are seeing will lead to the end of a human kind.