Is there a different way to give gifts

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Just reading through various threads about gifts. People having duplicates or things they are offended by. People being hurt that recipient didn't like the gift they gave.

I'm the same: My young adult DCs wanted money which I gave but also spent money on other stuff when i could have given more money and let them choose their own clothes and smellies.

We've all spent money trying to guess what someone else wants and hoping someone guesses correctly what we want.

Logically it would make more sense to give the person the alloted present money for them to buy what they want.

I buy things they wouldn't buy themselves, treats etc. If someone gave us money it would just get swallowed up by bills. It's nice to receive presents that are thoughtful.

We often give experiences now - ones that we have booked so they aren’t vouchers that never get spent! Eg, Harry Potter world tickets etc. So stuff they might not treat themselves to but we don’t have to wonder if they have already.

I don't mind giving money for birthdays but not Christmas.

It's a bit odd to give someone £100 and they pass you, say, £40 back. Does their £40 have to be a different £40 or can they just rebate you from the money you gave them? It's weird.

I always give a gift receipt with the gift, especially clothes, so the recipient can change it without even having to let me know if that's what they want.

In my immediate family, we swop 'wish lists' to guide the others. It's not compulsory to buy from the list, but it does steer the others. Generally we each end up with a few things from our list and some genuine surprises.

When buying for children, I ask their parents for clues and/or run my ideas past them.

I do find it annoying when I think I've put some thought into a good present and the recipient doesn't like it, of course. But ultimately I'd rather they had something they wanted, so I keep my irrational rational annoyance to myself

If you know the person well enough you should be able to buy a gift you know they will like.

I don't like gifting money so won't do it. It's too often seen as family money rather then belonging to the person it's actually gifted too. I don't mind a gift voucher if requested by a teen.

I think it’s much better to just give small token gifts. Something to unwrap - that’s the surprise element in a lovely package. A scented candle, a paperback book, pretty tea towel, cosy gloves, truffle salt, nice coffee - whatever the recipient will like and use. If you don’t know what they like why are you even giving them a present? I ask my kids what they want and buy them that or give them cash - I only buy surprises I know they will like. Everyone else just gets something small and they respond in kind. Don’t get into competitive gift giving - you are better off using the money to buy yourself something you really want or need and your friends and family can do the same.

I get my 14 year old to show me what she likes on online clothes shops. She shows me loads....but knows she will only get a selection of it. That way she gets what she wants but also a sort of surprise.

We don’t give gifts at xmas. It’s an absolutely pointless process.

I’ll treat people I care about when I see them (tea and cake/theatre tickets or whatever). I’ll thank my team with a box of biscuits or gift voucher when they’ve done something brilliant. I’ll support teachers at DD’s school when they need something. It’s much more meaningful than “ooh, made up festival. Have some bubble bath or another fucking candle.”

Me, DH and DD have Amazon wishlists, we add to them throughout the year. The main reason is to keep track of things we like so we can get ourselves bits when we have the money. We do share the link with MIL as she always asks for ideas and it works really well.

We have a wide range of stuff from £1 to £100 in value on there. Its brilliant for birthdays, i can just look at DH's list and spend my budget on things i know he wants.

DD is only 4 so we add to hers whenever she sees something in a shop, or mentions something a friend has that she would like.