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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your experiences of leaving children at home whilst going away.

32 replies

Zippyzoppy · 01/01/2019 13:06

By next summer, we will have a reasonable responsible pair of teenagers DD(16) and DS(18). They do not want to come away with us on holiday, which means that either we stay put, or try and go on some kind of break without them.

I'm just wondering what others have done at this stage? Would you leave them for a day, weekend, week or not at all?

TIA

OP posts:
4strings · 01/01/2019 13:16

When I was 17 my parents informed me they’d booked a holiday and I wasn’t coming. So I was alone for two weeks. I had a friend stay for a few days, they left me money and off they went.

I blooming loved it. I’m an only child; I’d imagine your two at 16 and 18 would be fine!

Original poster
Zippyzoppy · 01/01/2019 16:24

Bump.

OP posts:
HRTpatch · 01/01/2019 16:25

We left dd at nearly 17 for a week...left a fridge full of food and a couple of hundred quid for her . No wild parties or misadventures. She loved it...had a friend to stay.

AwkwardPaws27 · 01/01/2019 16:53

Ah. My mum did this with me on a few weekends as a 16 year old. Not a "wild party" as such, but certainly a few friends and too much Lambrini, resulting in a bit of a vommy mess...

LtJudyHopps · 01/01/2019 17:00

It depends on so much! How sensible the kids are, how much you trust them, is there any family near by to check in on them? What they’re comfortable with?

SignOnTheWindow · 01/01/2019 17:16

My parents did this when I was 17. Spent the week shagging my boyfriend on the patio and the living room floor, but other than being generally slovenly about washing up, we didn't leave any mess.

DramaAlpaca · 01/01/2019 17:21

We first left our 16 & 18 year olds for a weekend to see how it went. They were fine, so next time we left them for longer. They are both sensible, they are respectful of our home & they get on, which is important.

WickedGoodDoge · 01/01/2019 17:23

We’re going away for a week at the end of May. DS will be 17 and DD will be 14. DD is staying at the ILs and DS is staying at home with the dog. He’ll have just finished his exams the week before and I suspect he’ll just want to slump in front of his PS. He’s pretty sensible and we’re close to some of the neighbours who could help out in a pinch. I also have good friends nearby who can help with the dog if needed. The ILs are ten minutes down the road as well so I’m sure he’ll be fine.

If it goes horrible wrong I’ll PM you at the start of June. Grin

WickedGoodDoge · 01/01/2019 17:23

*horribly

BackforGood · 01/01/2019 17:27

It so depends on the individual dc.
I'd leave dcs 2 and 3 for a week, but it wouldn't have been a good idea for dc1. That's down to their individual personalities.

Almostfifty · 01/01/2019 17:29

We left ours once they were 16/18. They were under pain of death not to have an 'empty' and they actually said they wouldn't have one, as they didn't want to have to clear up after a party!

They've always had phone numbers of responsible adults just in case anything happened, but luckily nothing did.

UAEMum · 01/01/2019 17:32

We left our 2 boys (18 and 16) last Summer for 4 weeks while we went with their other siblings to the UK and Spain. It was their choice to not come with us. I cooked loads of food and portioned it up and froze it all. Also left them cash. They had a great time.

CardsforKittens · 01/01/2019 17:35

I think it depends on the children. I've done it and it was fine. We have lots of family members nearby so I wasn't too worried.

Hanuman · 01/01/2019 17:36

I would leave them but I would let our neighbours know as a deterrent for parties

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 01/01/2019 18:04

I went away with my parents until I was 20. We all agreed to stop after that. I loved my summer holidays but I'd definitely outgrown them and wish I'd struck out alone younger! I'd been away without parents quite a few times by then as well and it was fine.

As long as you trust your DC and they're not incapable, they'll be fine!

HeyArthur · 01/01/2019 18:16

My parents went to Disney land in Florida over my 16th birthday and left me in the not so capable hands of my older teen brothers. It's lucky they came back to any of us alive tbh.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 01/01/2019 18:19

I stayed at home aged 16 (or maybe 17?) for a week while my parents went to France with younger brother and sister.

No parties but basically spent the week shagging my then boyfriend!

BlisteringHell · 01/01/2019 18:20

I leave mine but I do let the neighbours know (and the neighbours have a key to the house)

I make sure there's enough food for the period I'm away

LetBartletBeBartlet · 01/01/2019 18:20

I had a week home alone when I was 16.

No mad parties or anything like that, and I really enjoyed the independence.

Friends in the same situation would have wrecked the house. I think it depends on the individual dc concerned

BlisteringHell · 01/01/2019 18:21

I found it was a v good learning experience. E.g. DS said he forgot to check the front door was locked on one night (even though he had a list of what to check). Only way they learn is by making mistakes!

Seniorschoolmum · 01/01/2019 18:26

My sis asked me to move in for a week. Her dcs were 19, 17, 16. My role was limited to preventing wild parties, putting out fires, providing first aid if necessary and counting them back in at night.

Otherwise they were free to do as they pleased and I spent a week sunbathing and drinking someone else’s wine. Smile

EdinaMonsoon · 01/01/2019 18:40

At that age it should be fine but be realistic about what state you can expect the house to be in & provide plenty of easy to cook food. We left DS1 home alone for the last 2 family holidays, aged 17 & 18, at his insistence. I wasn’t hugely keen but both have been positive experiences with the second year finding a much cleaner house on return than the first! We ask him to check in with us daily & we arranged online grocery shop with full cooking instructions plus money for extras. First year he was insistent he cooked from scratch. Second year he opted for ready meals/chicken kiev/burgers etc with plenty of fresh veg. Only had 1 wobble: he’d been out clubbing & at 11am next morning his “Life360” status was still showing as being at the club. No answer from DS phone/home phone but eventually called us when he surfaced from major hangover & charged his phone, completely unaware of our stress levels 😂. I was mid-way through a text to our neighbour asking her to check on him!

DramaAlpaca · 01/01/2019 19:00

To add to my post above, my boys were always fine being left at home as older teens & the house would always be immaculate when we got home, which was unusual but much appreciated as they were both generally quite messy.

We discovered why one time when we arrived back a bit earlier than expected to find the two of them, and a few of their friends, just finishing a big clean up. They had the place spotless.

It took them a while to work out how I knew they'd had girls to visit though. The giveaway was that the cushions had been plumped up and the curtains were tied back, something it never seemed to occur to a teenage boy to do Grin Oh, and their beds were made Wink

Flakeyface · 01/01/2019 22:05

Erm.18 is an adult and 16 is old enough to fight for their country! They’re not children.
They may drink all your booze and shag people in your bed but I’m sure they will be fine

Merryoldgoat · 01/01/2019 22:10

Er... my friend’s mum left her (aged 17-19) alone all the time. We had parties every weekend she was away (loads) and once had a small fire 😬

I’d be careful. We all seemed extremely responsible... we just liked Cava...