To be miserable because of one comment

[nothappynewyear]

Bit of background on my kid - she's slept terribly since she was 4 months old. Didn't sleep through the night once until she was well over 1yo. She's now nearly two and still often wakes during the night if there's a noise or she's uncomfortable for some reason. (She's a mouth breather when she sleeps and I have fears this stops her entering a proper deep sleep - whole other issue)
Anyway, I spent NYE with my Mum and step dad. My mum insists that someone leaves at 2 minutes to midnight and then chaps the door on the bells to bring gifts into the house. This year my step dad was nominated to do so
I said to him 'if it's okay, at midnight, could you come straight into the lounge before doing the hugs and celebrations of new year, as if we do it in the hall then we might wake DD'
He then sat there and laughed for a couple of minutes before saying 'okay then'
At midnight he came in and preceded to whisper long after entering the lounge, IMO to make a statement that he thought my request was stupid
They left soon after and of course the noise of the doors opening and closing ended up waking her so I clearly wasn't being paranoid!
AIBU to not want to wake my kid??? I am so upset that he clearly questions my parenting and want to bring up the issue next time I see my Mum, however I am also aware that I've had several glasses of champagne and I'm PMSing a bitch so not even sure if I'm reading too much into it! Truthful opinions?

On a side note, I would definitely get the breathing checked, my dentist was recently explaining to me (the clinic has taken a special interest in the mouth breathing) that kids who breathe through their mouths actually only get ox sat levels of around 80%, usually they should sit right round 98% - 100%.

Poor sleep/wakeful sleep can be a sign that not all is right. They were saying to me it can be a sign of enlarged adenoids/tonsils among other things.

I would also have been annoyed but properly rolled my eyes, bitched about it then let it go.

not sure if it's something my family has invented

No your family most definitely didnt invent first footing

Ok he behaved like a bit of an arse but its really not worth bringing up with your mum.

On any other night I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask, but precious to go do on NYE. He was being a pain in the arse to whisper like that, but his laughing sounds like he was taken aback and didn’t know what to say.

I know your Mum insisted they come but ultimately it was your choice to have them, and when a child is nearly two it’s reasonable to prioritise your guests to a certain extent.

I once made everyone sing Happy Birthday to my 1 year old in a whisper so they didn't scare her. You're allowed to be fussy OP....though I cringe now...when you have a baby, it's bloody hard work and knackering! It's not nice to snigger at parents who are already having a hard time.

He behaved like a twat. Occasionally good people behave like a twat. But mostly twats behave like twats. Conclusion, he’s probably a twat.

Don’t apologise. He was in the wrong, not you.

In future tell your Mum ‘No’. She might not like the idea of something, but you’re an adult and get to make your own decisions, you don’t have to let her steam roll you and you don’t have to put up with his shit.

I’d be fucked off with his attitude and fucked off that my parents couldn’t leave the house without waking DD.

But I now need the ‘mince pie crumbs’ story!

I think he was a bit of an arse and I can totally understand where you're coming from. If he's a step dad he maybe hasn't experienced sleep deprivation with a very young child?

Anyway, I think you are right not to mention it as he may just take the piss further.

First footing? We did this every year - tall dark and handsome man bearing gift had to be first through the door.

It was a bit mean and thoughtless to mutter about it, but I think YABABU to feel like he's questioning your parenting, I'd forget about it and not mention it.

OH used to be the first footer in Northumberland, being tall and dark (and handsome ). It was traditional to bring in a piece of coal.

I think we used to have coal until we had the electric heaters fitted.

Some miserable people on Mumsnet today. Get a grip.

OP YANBU.

YANBU. I used to hate it if we ever had people over for dinner/drinks and they'd be loud and wake DD up.

Some of the comments are a bit mean :( Carrying on whispering was taking the piss, I can see why the OP is annoyed with him.

OH is always our first foot. He goes outside and then comes back in again with a lump of coal and sometimes a bottle of whisky. I'm surprised if the OP is in Scotland and hasn't realised this is a fairly common and ancient custom.

I'm surprised if the OP is in Scotland and hasn't realised this is a fairly common and ancient custom

Yep, our street was full of people doing this last night.

Was only half joking about it being something we invented because the first poster didn't seem to know it. Nobody else I know does it but obviously she had gotten it from somewhere. Usually whoever goes out just has some biscuits and alcohol, don't think we've ever owned any coal

I think the time to call him out for being sarcastic/taking the piss would be at the actual time. Chalk it up to a missed opportunity but like the other poster says if they ask to come to you next NYE then you can have your moment! And be ready for him next time! Happy New Year xx

He was behaving like a twat, but to be honest, when I had a young baby-I would have stayed in and not had people over who would have woken them up!! They can’t insist they come round if you say ‘no-please don’t, I’m exhausted and just want the baby to sleep. If people are here being noisy and opening doors at midnight, it will wake them up’.

If they then said-no, we’re coming anyway whether you like it or not, and we will make lots of noise. Then, they are being horrible.

Would you still have done this tradition if your parents hadn’t come round? Were there others in your house as well?

It sounds like you invited them round and then were pissed off when they did what normally happens-got a bit pissed and made noise.

Next year-tell then not to come and why.

@Holidayshopping didn't invite them, but also didn't insist that they didn't come. Neither of them were drunk - my mum had two glasses and step dad was driving. The deal was for them to come and be there for midnight and then leave to let myself and the two babies get some sleep since my mums fully aware of how little sleep I've had recently with 2 under 2. Would have no problem with them being loud within the lounge as noise doesn't travel as easily. The noise of the doors opening and closing as they left, waking daughter, was unavoidable so I'm not even angry about that. Literally only mentioned it as an example of how easily she wakes up. As previously mentioned - only upset about the laughing at me and the mocking me by whispering everything afterwards

So was it only the three of you there?

@Holidayshopping yeah