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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to still have no routine with 11 week old?

21 replies

Gramz · 31/12/2018 20:48

DS is 11 weeks. He still sleeps completely randomly. He still feeds up to once or twice an hour on occasion, but can also go 3 hours without. He has ZERO routine and one day/night is entirely different to the next.

AIBU to just roll with it and have no routine at all? The idea of trying to implement a routine makes me feel ill as I'm so tired and happy how things are... would it be better for DS to have a routine?

OP posts:

TooMinty · 31/12/2018 20:52

Yanbu - 11 weeks is still tiny. As long as he gets enough sleep and milk then it's fine (and as long as you are getting sleep and food too).

Guineapiglet345 · 31/12/2018 20:53

I don’t think you need a routine, I’ve never had one with my kids and I feel a lot freer than my friends who have them and are constantly checking their watches to rush their baby off to the next nap or feed.

Twickerhun · 31/12/2018 20:53

I have no routine at 6 months. 11 weeks is nothing. Chill and enjoy it.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 31/12/2018 20:54

Personally I think he's too little. However I don't think it hurts to add some associations at this stage such as a song you only sing at night time, or night pj's, or white noise when sleeping or wherever so that if and when you do want to do a routine it might make the transition a little bit easier

Jupiter15 · 31/12/2018 20:54

No YANBU. Enjoy it while you can.

Original poster

Gramz · 31/12/2018 20:54

I wouldn't even know how to get a baby in to a routine... is it even possible at 11 weeks?! Amazing if anyone manages it.

OP posts:

User0ne · 31/12/2018 20:55

You're both happy by the sound of it so why change anything.

I'll bet there is a rough routine anyway: feed, sleep, feed, play/interact, sleep.
If that sounds at all familiar then you have a routine.

Moanranger · 31/12/2018 20:56

Babies take awhile to develop any kind of routine, I think there is too much expectation of that frankly.As he gets older he will probably fall into one, and if you find you need longer sleep periods, you can nudge him in that direction.

Laiste · 31/12/2018 20:56

Is this your first?

If it is 11 weeks probably feels like he's not a new born and he should be almost walking and talking by now He's still tiny. If you're happy as you are then carry on as you are. Most babies settle down into day/night routines well enough when they're ready.

Ijumpedtheshark · 31/12/2018 20:56

I still have no routine and my DS is 3. It may be why he sleeps badly or it may be because he sleeps badly. Just roll with it and do what works for you and your baby.

dangermouseisace · 31/12/2018 20:57

I’d just roll with it and use it to your advantage whilst you can...you aren’t tied to the house trying to get a child to nap. When you start weaning babies usually settle into a routine themselves.

JudasPrudy · 31/12/2018 20:57

YANBU so much and I'm so glad to see this post. Routines are just a stick to flog yourself with. Fuck them.

Rainycloudyday · 31/12/2018 20:58

If you're happy with how things are and your baby is thriving then there is no need. I also have an 11 week old, however, and am very keen to get into more of a routine as it suits me better and I get stressed out having no real feel for when she'll need a nap or sleep. Different things work for different families!

Merryoldgoat · 31/12/2018 20:59

I have a 5yo and 11mo - no routines at all for the baby. 5yo has a ‘bedtime’ but thats it and all we’ve ever had for him from about 2.

Rainycloudyday · 31/12/2018 21:00

I don't know why some people are so aggressively anti routine. Why can people not see that different things work for different babies?! Suck narrow mindedness. My son absolutely thrived on a basic routine and introducing a bedtime routine from a week old was great for us all. A routine doesn't mean a miserable stressed out parent trying to rush home for nap times! For us it made us more relaxed and able to do more as we had confidence of when he would need to sleep and feed.

HumpHumpWhale · 31/12/2018 21:00

My first pot himself in a routine at 4.5 months. Second, it was closer to 6. I definitely say roll with it. Why fight a baby?

Rainycloudyday · 31/12/2018 21:01

*such not suck!

Divgirl2 · 31/12/2018 21:01

I thought you said 11 months and was going to say "eh don't sweat it but maybe try and go longer without feeding". 11 weeks is teeny tiny so I think you're doing fab as you are.

Some people find routines super helpful, I'm choosing to do this parenting thing on easy mode so haven't managed a set in stone routine (much to the horror of some family members). We (DS is 10 mos) have a sort of routine in that we go to bed at roughly the same time(ish) every night although he pretty much never fully sleeps through, he has two naps (usually one at around 10ish, and one later on), he eats when I eat (and mostly what I eat), has milk whenever he wants(I couldn't even tell you how many times a day but probably...4? 5?) We have baths some nights, some nights we don't. I bring him in the shower some mornings, sometimes I don't. Some days he eats breakfast in his pyjamas, some days he has brunch instead (still has milk in the morning - this boy'll never starve to death).

He's absolutely thriving so see no need to change, I'll re-evaluate as he gets older. As long as you're coping with whatever you're doing it's fine. You'll find your own groove.

PoppySeedBun18 · 31/12/2018 21:02

11 weeks is very young - most parenting literature suggests not even considering a routine until 4-6 months as babies haven’t developed a day/night differentiation before then.

Just go with the flow - let him eat and sleep when he wants. You can’t spoil him.

You’ll probably find you fall into a routine without even realising it anyway

AprilShowers16 · 31/12/2018 21:02

I didn’t have a routine with either of mine until about 8-10 months when they only napped twice a day. Even then it was a bit hit and miss until they went down to one nap. Once my eldest was down to one nap then I found a routine really helpful but before then I just rolled with what works

jessstan2 · 31/12/2018 21:02

I don't think such young babies have a routine. They feed and sleep when they want.

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