To ask for your repeated parenting fails?

[meow1989]

For the second time this week I've cut DS finger when trimminghis nails

I tried biting them, this tore the skin on his thumb, I've tried peeling them which he hates, and after recent successes with baby clippersive just heard the skin on his finger be sliced rather than his nail, it's bleeding a bit which I'm not worried about but the visual of little smears of blood on the toy He's playing with is horrible my poor little boy (he cries very briefly the started playing s I know logically he's fine and I'm not thewrse mother I the world but still).

Please tell me of circumstances on which you're repeatedly utterly incompetent as a parent to make me feel better?

The time I accidentally scalded DS2, necessitating an ambulance, has also scarred me for life! Thank god he was okay due to me getting him under cold water etc within two seconds. Will never forget that scream though.

Putting a drop leaf table up underneath it trying to force the leg bit into position .Ds bang on table and screaming his finger was caught in the hinge bit.

DD gets tired on her scooter so I often push her alongside help, except twice, the scooter has got stuck and I've kept pushing, meaning she falls forward over the handle bar! Poor little thing.

I also dislocated her elbow twice, once playing swinging-her-around games and once when she tripped while I was holding her hands. The first time it took me ages to take her to A&E because she didn't seem upset, just not using the arm. The second time we thought she was just crying because she needed a nap and only realised what had happened after the nap. Felt pretty bad but she was fine once it had been pushed back in.

I've taken all of mine out while removing or pulling up trousers too.
Kicked my 6 month old niece in the face once, she was on the sofa and started to fall, I had my hands full with my daughter and instinctively tried to catch her with my foot, kicked her in the face, split her lip and bruised her. Felt awful handing her back to mum later on!
Was holding dd1s hand when she was a teeny toddler and she tripped, so I "caught" her, and dislocated her elbow. Twice. Second time we had a visit from ss.
And, just today, trying to watch 5 small children at the park, all of whom were on different pieces of equipment and all wanted me to "watch this!" Dd3 (2) climbed up the ladder to the slide, and went headfirst off the other side of the platform. I think. I'm not sure, as I was watching dn (the one I kicked in the face) falling sidewards off the seesaw

Nails are awful! I use the boots own clippers and they are good. I usually do when they watching TV. I cried the first time I cut her too 😓😓

Realised I needed to watch my language (and my partner) when my three year old walked into his brothers room and said 'look at this fucking mess'
Yesterday my youngest spent the day repeating 'oh cwap' after she heard her dad say it 🤦🏻‍♀️

Kind of relieved I’m not the only one who can’t walk through a door!!

DS fell over and as I put my hands out to catch him I stabbed my thumb nail into his neck. There was blood everywhere. I’ve also made him vomit several times by giving him too big a spoonful of food. I obviously over estimate his eating ability and think he’s coping fine until he chokes and pukes.

My eldest slid off my lap when he was about 8/9 months old and landed on his head ..... no damage done but a shock for me. When changing my youngest one day he started crying before I took his nappy off ....I had knelt on his foot! I have accidentally banged their heads off door frames when carrying them to bed, they weren't babies 3/4 years old. Youngest went mad one day when I was going out with a friend and tried to hurl himself at the car I was in .....from a wall and landed on his face, ended up spending quite a long time in the local med centre waiting to be seen. A few weeks later he was jumping in the beds upstairs and managed to fall down in between the two beds .....smacking his face on the metal frame.......back to the med centre we went whilst he developed a huge lump between his eyes .....looked like one of the characters from Star Trek....Warf? Funniest one was when youngest was climbing a fence about 3 years old and he was wearing shorts and Wellies.....which was all he would wear at the time, the back of his shorts got caught on the fence and he ended up upside down star shaped ...screaming his head off ......I was laughing so much that I couldn't get him off the fence, his big brother was also hysterically laughing 😂

DD age 5 - "Mum, my ear really really hurts. My nose is running, my cheeks are red, I have a cough"

Me - "Oh god nooòoo, its an ear infection/virus. It will get worse. Lets get to the G.P quick"

G.P - "Her ears are full of wax. Thats why she has earache & is crying in pain, thats why she cant sleep at night because of the pain. Its all because of the wax". Lets ignore the temp, red cheeks & cough.

2 days later - new adult tooth appears.

Every single time.

It's awful, but I'm in fits of laughter at some of these fails. I don't advocate small children getting hurt by the way.

I've also taken all of mine out by removing trousers and banged heads on the bathroom sink when removing tops. DS1 has a particularly fat head and I clean lifted him off his feet when trying to remove a jumper once. He squawked a fair bit.
Have pushed them on the swings with such enthusiasm that they've somersaulted off, followed the Gina Ford book so strictly (I thought) with DS1 that I accidentally missed a feed. He was going batshit unsurprisingly. Book went in the bin and I followed my own instinct after that.
Not my child, but I've never forgotten the first child I made cry. I was about 12 and my mum's friend was over with her children. The little girl (aged about 4) idolised me. I was in my room with my friends and just as the little girl opened my door, I threw one of my old Barbie's at my friend. It missed and whacked this little girl right in the face. I was mortified and still feel guilty at 36!
And recently I trapped my DS2s friends finger in a door hinge

Oh and when my DS1 was about two, my brother threw him up into the air to play with him. RHeaf first right into a solid oak beam....

*Head first

I had eldest on baby reigns one day, he hated the pushchair and wanted to walk so I had left the pushchair in a shop foyer and walked into the shop with him. Half way round the shop he started swinging on the reigns, he was about 16months but was a big lad looked about 3. So I was struggling to get him to stop swinging, he thought it was a game until he swung in to the corner of a shelf and cut his eye. Took him straight to the Drs surgery which was nearby and he was whisked off by the nurse who started grilling me about his injury ......in the end a Dr I knew there had to step in because I was starting to get annoyed ....I had told her 4-5 times what happened. Dr said that nurse wanted to verify the story she should call the shop who had cameras and had filled in an accident report that I was going back to sign on my way home

@meow1989 are you cutting his nails when he's asleep? I always had to do my ds's nails when he was sleeping, far less wriggling and risk of cutting then!

And not my fault, but still horrifying. DS1, at the time aged 2.5, after a bath was running around his room naked. He decided to climb into his cot. He managed to get as far as swinging his leg over when he slipped. His willy got caught between his thigh and the top bar as he slipped resulting in his willy skin tearing at the base.
We had the paramedic out for that. Holding a screinv two year old still whilst a paramedic steri-strips such a small ahem surface area is not one of my favourite experiences. He's 7 now and has no memory or effects of it. He's still a daredevil though. Unsurprisingly, we don't allow either of them to run around naked anymore. They must at least have pants on. The bars came off the cot the next day by the way.

@mamatron no, I should I just got complacent because until he was wriggling, he wasn't iyswim.

My mum's just told me I should be careful, thanks for that! (She's fab and wasn't criticising but I feel bad enough already!)
I have to admit I've giggled at some of these top, only because all dc are fine now!

Although the poster about the penis getting trapped made me wince poor thing!

Ds1 was playing with his friends after school on the school slide.
He fell off, landed arm out straight, all his weight on his palm. He claimed his arm was broken and I didn't believe him.
I started walking him home and half way he turned grey and almost passed out. Lucky for us a local resident took pity on us and gave him a drink and snacks while we waited for my mum to come get us as he couldn't walk.
It was broken, five weeks in plaster.

I have also clipped my children's skin when cutting nails and I managed to give ds2 a nasty face scratch when I was trying to separate them fighting as I thought ds2 would be hurt.

DS has been a terrible sleeper since I went back to work at 10 months so I always sat with him until he went off. I’m sat with him now. He’s 10 next year. Fail!

DS 3 (10 months at the time) been poorly then his temp plummeted to 34.5 degrees I took this 3 times I was alone with 3 DCs as DH on nights called 111 who sent an ambulance. They took his temperature still 34.5 however when they pulled out the thermometer the biggest clump of wax I've ever seen comes out. Paramedics said that's the problem the thermometer couldn't get a proper reading because of all the wax they had to stay an hour at midnight to monitor him for signs of sepsis I was lucky we didn't all get dragged to hospital as they said usually under 1s would get automatically sent. They were lovely about it but I was so embarrassed!
I also called 111 because dd2 had swallowed a magnet however I found it in the grass while I was on the phone with them, they're going to stop taking my calls one day

Until she was 4 my 2nd never went to sleep without a full on tantrum screaming at me and trying to escape. She told me she hated me every night for 18 months!

I remember cutting my son’s nails and accidentally cutting his finger. I went into the kitchen and bawled my eyes out, told myself to get my shit together, rinsed my face, wiped with a tea towel (as you do) and got back into ‘with it’ mode. My DH came home, hours after I’d pretty much forgotten it, and said “what tf happened to you??” He got me to look in the mirror and I had make up smeared all over my face and looked like Alice Cooper, but had just gone about the day not even realising. We’ve all done this kind of stuff. I mean, the head bumping on doorframes, isn’t that some evolutionary thing to bang their heads into optimum shape? What kind of poor child hasn’t had their head clonked on a doorframe?

Oh yes Cigars I’ve hurt mine a few times when separating them. Then I’m the horrible one! “Mummyyyyyy you’ve SCRATCHED MEEEE” with sad traumatised eyes like I’ve attacked them!

I whacked DS's head on the door frame/car seat/pram/bouncer/Moses basket/crib almost daily when he was newborn. I was too tired to even care.

There have been many, many, many, many times where DS has injured himself and 100% of other parents would have been straight to A&E. Not me, I just keep a closer eye out and check for any symptoms that could be a sign of something serious.

I dropped my 4 year old on her head this afternoon when we were dancing and I went to lift her up high and accidently dropped her. Then when I was stepping over her to get to a better position to pick her up I kicked her in the face.

I wouldn't mind but I dropped her 2 year old brother on his head 2 days ago. Clearly I'm the mum who drops her kids on the head.