To think I’m doing something wrong...

[TrainsandDiggers]

5yo DS is a delight - most of the time. He behaves and works hard at school and can be lovely and thoughtful at home. But when we go out to a party (of any kind - friends/family/big gathering/small gathering) he becomes completely hyperactive. I can’t do anything with him. He ignores me, can be rude to me, jumps on adults and children wanting to play fight, gets insanely hot to the point he wants to start stripping his clothes off and tbh, I find it mortifying. I know what it’s going to be like before I even get there. It’s definitely getting easier, but I feel embarrassed and judged (probably my own stuff) which makes it even harder to know how to respond to him without resorting to threats that he just ignores anyway. I just wish people would see his lovely side every now and again.

Am I doing something wrong or is this on the sprectrum of normal reception age behaviour??

Introverts find their energy sapped by social contact whilst extroverts are energised by it. Could he be different to you in this regard?

Not many ideas I'm afraid but maybe agree some ground rules? Eg, rudeness/ nudity = party over?

This on its own wouldn't seem to me like a red flag for autism, just being overexcited at a party. Does it help to give him time tocm down at regular intervals (just a walk outside or sit down in quiet room?).

Thank you for your replies. I find myself having to catch him by his arm as he flies past me! He’s very strong and gets very annoyed if I suggest he calms down - his breathing is agitated and he can’t even focus his eyes on me - he’s so fixated on where he’s off to next. He’s a completely different child when we leave though and I find I then spend my evenings texting friends to apologise! 😢

Having two children who could be like that when they were that age I would suggest that he maybe feels overstimulated. My son is diagnosed with sensory problems and can still react very badly in busy, over noisy, places, even at 16. So we avoid them where possible. We have always had problems in places like airports so have been able to get additional help like ASD children have which is a god send.
Our children were never able to cope even if chastised so they only solution was to get out of the situation to a quite place.
I would suggest that you goggle sensory problems and sensory diet which might give you some help in being able to cope with this.

Good Luck.

Sounds quite normal to me. He can't be the only one.

Thank you, that’s helpful.

Jess - you may be right, but I think it’s his size and strength that make it all the more problematic (that and I’m slightly blind to other people’s children playing up beyond my own!)

Sounds normal/ sugar!
Are you quite strict? I ran a tight ship wrt to bedtimes, fizzy drinks, sitting up to eat, screens etc. They were all 3 shocking in big groups.
They’ve settled down into lovely adults now, with beautiful manners and let their hair down appropriately. Try not to let it bother you.

Thank you - I may be a bit strict when I think about it! That’s reassuring that you’ve come through it though!