Sick people visiting at Xmas

[Bleurghthatisall]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY?

husband’s brother and his kids spent Boxing Day with us - BIL really wanted his children to get to see our children so he decided to brave it with a stinking cold/virus thing. Did not inform us though before arriving. Lovely he wanted to see us, except he basically turned up dying and passed out on sofa after presents, feeling shivery and hot etc.

Of course, I came down with same thing two days later which meant

1. cancelling a hotel mini break on 28-30th

2. being unable to have scheduled minor but very necessary and time sensitive medical procedure today. (Yes medical stuff happens on NYE in case anyone wants to question that)

Livid doesn’t even come close.DH unbeliably says it’s all just ‘one of those things’ and so I am screaming inside

tumbleweed

I do kind of agree with DH, about it being one of those things. Bloody annoying for you though!

It gives me the rage too. There was a thread yesterday about adults bringing a child with chicken pox to a party. What is wrong with these people. They think their desire to socialise is more important than preventing spreading their illnesses.

I think most people wouldn’t cancel because of a cold (even a really bad one), but I do think people should call and check, just in case (as has happened to you with your medical procedure) there really is a reason to avoid contact.

It wouldn’t bother me really, dd has had a stinking cold and I haven’t caught it even though we live together.

Chicken pox is a bit different though.

We're laid up after attending a party of a family member (child) who was ill on 27th.

Parent of the child announced at the end "I'm surprised he lasted so well as he has been so ill"

I'm on medication that fucks my immune system and my almost 4yo is in day 3 of 39c + temps (temps reduce with medication and she saw GP today before anyone wonders)

I have a stinking cold. Verging on a chest infection. I hadn’t seen my brother for months (lives at a distance). I still phoned and explained what was wrong to give him the chance not to come round.
With a slight cold or a bit of a cough? No problem.
Actually really ill? Why would you be so selfish?

Nope, there is no excuse. If you are that sick, stay home! We had a relative bring kids with flu to our family's Christmas. Almost all of us got sick afterwards. The least BIL could have done is warned you that he was sick and let you decide if you wanted to risk it.

That really sucks, OP. That wasn' ta cold; he was ill and decided to share it with everyone else so you could watch his kids while he slept on your couch. Arsehole. And so is your dh for defending him.

Given how ill I feel I don’t even know how he managed - I feel like inside my head has been replaced with sawdust and I haven’t even the energy to get up and have a quick shower. Just wish he’d asked - although to be fair his wife still would have come to us without him and she got ill the next day too, so possibly she was the one incubating....

Totally with you OP.

Before our family Christmas party I was told 2 relatives had V&D but that the last episode had been nearly 48hrs earlier. Wasn’t too pleased as DD has lowered immune system at the minute but thought ok well it’s nearly out of the ‘danger period’. Got to the party to hear one of the kids boasting that they had been sick 6 times less than 24hrs ago. Bloody raging and was more angry at 12am the next night whilst sitting up with my vomiting toddler.

Some people are so selfish, they put their needs and wants first. Hope that you get better soon.

singerleon that’s awful, shitty thing to do (although I did read that as your relatives had VD at first)

Very inconsiderate. We cancelled 3 events in the run-up to Christmas because we had colds and didn't want to share them with friends/family.

Well if your useless DH won't tell him, I think you should.

That's really caused problems and he ought to know.

Very ignorant of him not to mention the fact he was ill so you could have put him off coming to your house. I'd be livid too.

🤔 I’m not being funny but there is TONS going around this time of year and if you have 2 parents and 3 kids it’s entirely plausible to miss the entire holiday season due to one ALWAYS being poorly!

I get chicken pocks or full blown D&V but a cold? 🤔 I mean come on! Are families just supposed to sit at home the entire holiday because the toddler is extra snotty?

It wasn’t a cold if he sat there feeling like death, boiling hot yet shivering.

We have cancelled one Christmas meet up and delayed another due to one or another of my 3 kids being poorly, and not wanting to pass it on to relatives.
YANBU

If youvé got a temperature and feeling shivery and too rotten to move from the couch then it's selfish not to inform others and give them the option to cancel. A cold, even a bad one then carry on as normal if you feel not too bad

YANBU. Selfish as hell.

Def not unreasonable! I had plans for friends this week. My chest infection and cold thought otherwise and it's just been DH and I since 27th. Not the end of the world but most def would have been selfish to inflict upon others!