WIBU to not go to this dinner?

[Sprockettandco]

I was supposed to go to dinner in a restaurant in the evening with 7 other people before they continue on to a party.

I have a problem with my arms caused by an accident a decade ago. It resulted in nerve damage which is style an issue today. When it flares up I can't use one or so me timed both arms due to extreme pain and weakness. This can last for days or even a week or more. Even a feather touching it can be unbearable. My right arm I'm right handed,has gone and the pain is agonising. I can't use it at all. Pain relief doesn't begin to touch it and the pain makes me nauseous. My left arm ins tingling in a way that suggests that it might go too.

WIBU to say that I can't go. They won't lose any money.

The dinner is this evening. That wasn't very clear in my OP.

Obviously don't go if you don't feel up to it. It would be stupid to go.

No of course not. You're obviously not in any state to go and would have a miserable time.

Please stay at home if you are in terrible pain. Your friends will understand.

You don’t need permission from mn not to go, you know your body and pain levels so of course you don’t need to go if you’re suffering.

What is your relationship with the other people that makes you need the approval of strangers to not to do something that will cause you pain?

Thank you all, I don't need permission as such but I have autism and sociql situations and the right thing to do in them isn't always obvious to me. I'm not ill so I felt guilty and I only know four of the seven so I didn't want the other three to think thst I didn't want to meet them.

Hope you feel better soon

If you're in agonising pain and you can't use one of your arms (possibly two if the other goes), then you actually can't go can you?

There's no AIBU about it. It's just a fact.

Hope you feel better soon

Just tell someone in the group whom you know that you can’t go and why. You ARE I’ll and in pain at this time. What the people who don’t know you think doesn’t matter, but they are more likely to think kindly of you than not. Be kind to yourself and I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you all for the nice words. I've met for coffee before like this, if not quite so bad, but i don't think that i could manage a three course meal without firing a scallop across the restraurant. I'll cancel.

If you don't want to use the word 'ill' to describe, to the other people in the group, how you are feeling you could say you are unwell. That is an accurate description of how you are right now.
Not going is perfectly acceptable in this circumstance.
Say or text to say you are sorry and really disappointed that you can't go tonight. Then your friends will understand that they are important to you makes your explanation more socially acceptable for neurotypical folks. X

Thank you Pinksquidgypig. I've done that and will explain a little more if necessary when I see them again. I feel guilty but going isn't possible and they'll have just as much fun without me. At least it won't be just one or two on their own.

Try not to feel guilty. It’s out of your control and anyone who gets annoyed at that is being silly.