My partner retired a few years back and as I'm still working I realised the division of labour wasn't quite right. He was spending time on his hobbies while I was busy at work but also doing housework. However, he was a bit rubbish at cleaning because - he said - he just didn't see when stuff was getting dirty. So the idea was he'd do all the household laundry because it's fairly easy to 'see' it piling up in the basket.
For years I did the family laundry without a hitch. It was quite hard work because we didn't have central heating - now we do - or a tumble dryer. (At present we still don't.) I had a baby in cloth nappies and also two stepchildren who stayed regularly and were persistent bedwetter until they reached puberty. We had a garden and a Dutch dryer. But I just did it.
Now there are mostly just two of us. But my husband who was enthusiastic about doing his share, talks about the washing constantly.
- I think I'll do a load tonight.
- I've changed my mind. There isn't quite enough that needs doing.
- Is there anything you want to put in the laundry basket, so I can do a load.
- Actually the weather isn't so good tomorrow, I won't do a load.
- It looks like rain. Although I've put the washing out, will you tell me if it starts raining, because I'm busy and might not notice.
That sort of thing. There'll be lots of conversation in the build up to doing the laundry. Then a sort of running report on the day when the washing is hung out. And finally a detailed account of how things are drying if he has had to hang stuff up indoors.
It's been getting to me. I have asked him to talk less about it and we have agreed to buy a tumble dryer to make things simpler.
But today he went on this morning about how he needed to get in the kitchen to organise all the washing before hanging it out, and then he said it was too damp and he wouldn't hang it out after all.
I yelled at him, about how ** bored I was with all this and that I couldn't stand it any more.
Was I unreasonable?