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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking DD (11) to party tonight or not?

23 replies

Myotherhusbandisgaryoldman · 31/12/2018 11:29

Just this. I'm a single mum and could really do with a night off - mum has offered to have her overnight but she wants to come to the party.
What to do?

OP posts:
cindersrella · 31/12/2018 11:34

It's up to you. At 11 I doubt she will be hanging around your legs so possibly will half feel like your there without her anyway as long as she has friends. My daughter is 8 and if we go to parties I observe from afar but she is far to busy with her cousins and friends. She comes to us every so often for a drink or a little dance.

I like new year with the girls but I must admit if it's a party on the year and I have a sitter I jump at the chance unless it's a mandatory family party 😂

Donna1001 · 31/12/2018 11:38

Are children invited to the party? If so, will there be children her age there she knows?

We are going to a kid friendly party tonight with our 8 & 11 year olds, but we know there’ll be plenty of other children there.

But if you really want a (understandable) night off, be firm & leave her with your mum. You could always tell your daughter children are not invited.

formerbabe · 31/12/2018 11:43

Leave her with your mum and enjoy yourself.

TokyoSushi · 31/12/2018 11:43

Yes I'd say it depends on the party, if it's a party where DC's are invited and you know she'll spend most of her time with them then I'd take her. If not, then she stays with your DM.

purplecorkheart · 31/12/2018 11:45

It all depends if she is invited or not.

rainbowstardrops · 31/12/2018 11:50

It depends on the party. Is it a family party? Is it a party where there will be other children she knows?
You need to elaborate a bit really

Redcrayonisthebest · 31/12/2018 11:59

I'm taking my six year old to a party tonight but.... I won't drink and will drive us there and back so we can leave whenever we need to and there will be a group of kids there for him to play with so he won't be hanging around bored.
If the party you're going to is similar and you're sure that she's welcome then go for it. Don't take her to something that's basically adults only, nobody will thank you for that Grin

BigSandyBalls2015 · 31/12/2018 12:21

I think if she was anticipating going with you then it's a bit mean to leave her out. Can you ask your mum to babysit another night and do something then with friends?

BigSandyBalls2015 · 31/12/2018 12:23

NYE begins to become a bigger deal at 11ish and she prob feels quite grown up going with you. Leaving her with nan babysitting would make her feel babyish.

Stompythedinosaur · 31/12/2018 13:29

If there will be other kids she knows to hang out with I would take her. If there aren't, she's likely to need more from you, so I won't.

I'll be taking my 5 and 7yo to a party tonight, safe in the knowledge they will play upstairs with the host's dc and other guest's dc until they all bed down (we do a draw for who does bedtime and who gets up in the morning with them).

recklessruby · 31/12/2018 15:30

I think it depends on whether it's a family/kid friendly party with kids around her own age there or a massive adult only drunk new year celebration!
If it's going to be like that tell her it's boring for her as it's all adults at a boring dinner party or whatever. It won't seem so glam then.

goldengummybear · 31/12/2018 15:32

Will there be other kids there?

FortunesFave · 31/12/2018 15:33

If there are other children going it would be nice to take her.

HildaZelda · 31/12/2018 15:36

We need a bit more detail. Is it a family party? Will she know anyone? Will there be other kids there?
If yes, I'd take her. If no, I'd leave her with your mum.

EmeraldShamrock · 31/12/2018 15:38

As long as there are other children, not just adults getting merry why not. I loved going to aunts new years party at that age. You know the other guests if it is likely to be safe then why not.

Gth1234 · 31/12/2018 16:02

11 year olds ought to be ready for bed by 9pm at the latest. I wouldn't take her to a NYE party by choice.

Original poster
Myotherhusbandisgaryoldman · 31/12/2018 16:11

Decision made! She's coming with us. Plenty of kids her age - plus cinema room!

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 31/12/2018 16:27

Gth1234 at 11 year olds being in bed by 9 am on holiday Hmm maybe in your world, but absolutely not in my DC peer group, even in my 9 year peer group.

just seen your update OP, hope you both have a fab time and all the best for 2019

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 31/12/2018 16:27

pm

Redcrayonisthebest · 31/12/2018 16:41

11 year olds ought to be ready for bed by 9pm at the latest. I wouldn't take her to a NYE party by choice.

GrinGrinon NYE?? Ok then!

Original poster
Myotherhusbandisgaryoldman · 31/12/2018 16:43

Hahaha Grin

OP posts:
Gth1234 · 01/01/2019 12:23

NYE is just another day as far as kids go. There is no need for an 11yo to be up at midnight, if there is an alterative. Sorry, just my opinion.

superram · 01/01/2019 12:27

My 6 and 9 year old have rarely been in bed before 9 these holidays and had two nights of after midnight due to parties. An early night the following day and all good. Will be a bit stricter now in the run up to returning to school but I don’t know any 11 year olds that are in bed by 9 during the holidays (and few on a school night).

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