Getting back with ex?

[happynewyear18]

I'm 38 now and split with my ex 4 years ago.
I have been on dates with women since then but none really my type and there's literally no women in my area that are my type and are gay.
She has split with her ex and we have been texting again.
We were together 3 years before our split 4 years ago.
It was a bad breakup but shes calmed down a lot since then (with her jealousy etc )
Would you give it another go?
She's pretty much the only woman in our local area who is my type and I find attractive.

Don't turn to your ex because you can't find someone else!
I'm a great believer in they are an ex for a reason.
If you want to give it a go because you really love her and want to be with her, then fine. But you need to discuss why you broke up or there will still be unresolved issues.
Good luck OP.

Good god no, that's an awful idea.

You can't go back to someone just because there's no-one better in your area. (And I expect you don't know all the lesbians or bi women).

Exs are usually exs for very good reasons and leopards don't change their spots so no.

What's the worse it can happen?

So she's the only one available that you fancy? Not a good enough reason.

oh dear, really don't do this. It will be great to start with then you will both fall into all the old habits that made you split in the first place. Stay friends and try and work on widening your own circle of friends in the New year. its crass to say but start some new hobbies and go outside of your own comfort zone. there are lots of singles holidays out there, book one and go and explore and have a bit more of an adventure. if she is the only woman in your local area then you need to look further afield. but really, don't go back.

Never go back 🙄

It's never a good start to a relationship when you are only with thwn because you feel they're your only choice. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel

'She is pretty much the only woman in my area who I find attractive'
I'm sure she'll be thrilled to know that's why you want to get back together.

It broke my heart when we broke up as she's the only woman I've ever been in a relationship with and I have struggled to move on.
My type is the girly type and they are honestly few and far between.

Nope. You'll only regret it.

No.

You don't date someone simply because there's no-one else to date. That's not fair on anyone.

She’s likely calmed down only because you’re not in a relationship together. Don’t.

I obviously still really like her.

Femme lesbians are not few and far between. You just haven't met them. Try Bumble app. Join some local lgbt Facebook groups and see if they have meet ups. Join your local roller derby team, literally shoulder to shoulder with queer women (and you don't have to skate, plenty of non-skating official roles).

But don't get back together with someone just cos you think there is noone else.

She might be coming to you for sympathy ? I'd hate to see her use you.

If you get back together it will end in tears - again. That's your tears not hers.

Also, not all WLW are gay. There are plenty femme bi women out there too.

It's.confusing me for me as we were together years then after we split she got with another woman for nearly 3 years.
I was single all this time and didn't move on.
They split and a few months later we got chatting again.
We live in the same town and go to the same places (the lgbt circuit everyone knows everyone)

3 years is such a long time to not get over someone. So she probably knew you were still single and this could be an easy fallback for her as well. I wouldn't get back together with someone who had issues with jealousy. It would be so easy to slip back into old patterns and behaviour.

Maybe focus less on your "type". There are plenty of women who aren't overly femme but also not stereotypically butch. Expand your social circle if you already know everyone in your town.

Why did you split up ?
Remember why, if you are both at fault and can address your issues then great but if not its not worth the heart ache ?

So long as you are going into it with your eyes open what have you got to lose. You're both single, sounds like you want to, you clearly had something to be together for 3 years. Personally I'd cautiously give it a go.