To ask how I can be more 'present'?

[Liskee]

This might come across as a bit wanky but I genuinely want to know how to enjoy life more....to live in the moment.

I have 2 young DS, work full time, try desperately to keep a clean & tidy house and I'm trying to keep up a heathy, active lifestyle and lose weight. This last year or two I've just felt like I live for weekends or holidays and then spend them tired and grumpy. I feel like I'm wishing the DS toddler/preschool years away. I feel like I've lost me a wee bit and that I'm not as 'there' for DH anymore. I'm not loving work and I'm not challenged by it anymore, plus I'm stressed what feels all the time.

Any tips on how to be more present? To enjoy life a bit more, to live in the moment and stop stressing about shite?

The answer is closer than you think.

Your starting point could be....

Reading 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle.

You tube video's by Mooji, Rupert Spira, Francis Lucille, Adyashanti and Eckhart Tolle. One will resonate with you.

Mindfulness meditation
Visit local Buddhist centre (if there is one) for meditation classes.

I was going to suggest Headspace meditation. I do mine first thing in the morning, it helps me feel a bit more focused and clears my mind for the day.

noego has some good suggestions that I'm going to pinch.

Be aware of what you are doing. Live in the moment. If you are playing with your kids. Be in the moment. Don't think about money or chores just play.
The same with other meaningful activities. We don't tent to enjoy life because we polite our lives with stress and meaningless things.

Have a look at this video.

The tip is to let go of control, let it be and just observe that which is happening.

I don't think it's being more present that you seek, I think it's more pleasure. Being more present without pleasure is shit and your won't want to do it that's probably why you're currently mentally time traveling.

Get a massage. Get the nicest smelling essential oil you can find. Cook the nicest, tastiest meal you can think of. Masturbate. Get OH to give you gloriously decadant oral sex. Wear your best clothes. Experiment moving your body in a way that feels good. Listen to your favourite music. Ask yourself, "What pleasure today?" And go get it. Do these things often. THEN if you're still having problems being in the moment, try mindfulness and meditation techniques while the pleasure is happening.

Blimey, these answers! I'm going to give a far more mundane response. Could you look at changing your job? Cutting down on some of the stuff that you do that causes stress? Come up with a rota for yourself (and DH!) for chores so that you have a sense of when you 'should' be doing a chore and when is legitimate relaxing time? That might help you get everything done at home without worrying about doing it when you're not.

Or you could try masturbation.

When I feel like this I dial my phone usage right back. I find my ability to enjoy the present moment and be less stressed comes right back. Doesn't take much, jus that last hour of the day reading one book instead of 143 different threads on Mumsnet/reddit

Another basic answer I'm afraid Reduce your hours or change jobs .Exercise more.
Eat 5 portions of fruit and veg a day. Reduce alcohol right down.
Use babysitters as much as you can to get time with you OH.
I'm not a believer in the mindfulness and counselling approach. Talking through your issues is over-rated when the basic answer is simple.
Feel free to ignore me if not helpful but the one thing most likely to help you is dumping your job in favour of a better one with less stress and perhaps less hours if you can afford to

I think mobiles really interfere with just enjoying the moment. My New Years resolution is to cut right down on phone use. I’ve already realised that I’m much better at interacting with my children when my phone is out of battery and not constantly tempting me with a thousand distractions z

Search Tara Brach.listen to her talks.shes a haven.

Another person who thinks it’s easier to be more present when the “here and now” feels manageable and pleasurable. What has helped me is lowering my expectations of myself. The house needs to be tidy enough, my job needs to be challenging enough and I need to be good enough at it, the kids needs to be entertained enough etc etc. Everything doesn’t need to be done to a high standard all the time, some things can wait until I’ve had a cup of tea, read a chapter of my book or watched something on tv. Find things that you enjoy and that help you focus - for me it’s martial arts and cross stitch (yes, I know, odd combination).

Mindfulness meditation, breathing exercises etc can be good for getting you into the habit of being with yourself but actually finding things which engage and absorb you will help more.

I'm not great at it, but I have to be VERY intentional about being present. I think it takes years of practise to truly change, so start small.

What I do is:
Get up early to have a cup of tea before the family. Just a bit of reflective time before the chaos starts.
Make sure I do 2 activities every day with DC that I actually enjoy - a puzzle together, drawing, playing. Even if it's only for 10 minutes and the rest of the day is like herding cats then I know we've had some time together.
Spend an extra 20 minutes tidying the house at the end of the day, try to enjoy it, so it's not bothering me during the day

I'm not sure if those are the sort of answers you are after, but I would definitely suggest starting small and it will eventually change your overall mindset. I found the film 'About time' a really accessible look at becoming more present.

If @Subspace is recommending Tantric massages, masturbations and meditations then I agree wholeheartedly.
Anything that gets you back in touch with your senses is good.

Try

www.thewayofmeditation.com.au/blog/shower-meditation/

I think it is also about making the present more pleasurable - for instance, I love chores - I put on music or a podcast and work for a set amount of time - enjoying every minute of it.

With the kids, it's staying in the moment and trying to take in every beautiful bit of them - their little faces and hands as they do stuff etc.

Noticing the beauty around me - birds, flowers etc.

At work, finding ways to engage with it that I enjoy - looking at how to incorporate more of that in the job, and less of the tedious bits. chatting during the tedious bits! Or changing jobs if it is too tedious.

What you focus on tends to increase, so focussing on the good bits makes you notice more good bits.

I'm really grateful to everyone who's taken time to reply! Thank you 

I definitely take on board the little practical things to make a big difference. I'll be looking for a new job come the new year I think. And @pollyname thank you for your suggestions about doing 2 things I enjoy with the DC each day. That's a great idea. I'll also be looking at headspace meditation app. And probably masturbating a bit more

Maybe actually this year should've about being enough rather than present? That's given me food for thought. Thanks all. And happy new year!

Shameless placemarking, loads of amazing tips here