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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much you spend each month on food, toiletries & household items?

84 replies

NeedSleepNow · 31/12/2018 07:05

I am a sahm and my husband puts £300 a month into the joint account for me to use to do the shopping. This is to cover all food, toiletries, loo roll, cleaning products etc. for a family of 5. I am massively struggling with this budget, even more so at Christmas and other holidays when everyone is home so I was wondered am I just spending too much or is it a wildly unrealistic budget for 5 people.

What do you spend each month on food, toiletries, cleaning products etc.?

OP posts:
moanymoaner · 31/12/2018 07:09

£300 for the whole month! Jesus! We spend about £130 a week easy for a family of 5!

Larasshadow · 31/12/2018 07:12

£300 a month isn't very much if that's to include everything.

We spend around £100 per week, family of 4.

Auntiepatricia · 31/12/2018 07:12

Your budget is tight. We spend about £450/month for a family of 6 and I shop very efficiently.

EmUntitled · 31/12/2018 07:13

Probably around £200 for 3 people but I've is only 2 so she doesn't eat much. £300 doesn't seem that much fot a family of 5, although you could cut it down by eating less meat (e.g. lentil chilli for 50p vs mince for £3), shopping at lidl or aldi and avoiding branded products.

Can you just speak to your husband and ask him to increase your budget. I am also a SAHM but we have a joint account so I dont have to ask for money - how does it work if you want to buy him a birthday present or take the kids out for a day, does that have to come out of the shopping budget?

Original poster
NeedSleepNow · 31/12/2018 07:19

Glad to see others think £300 a month isn't a lot. That was my gut feeling. My two sons (2 & 8) each so much already, this week it feels as though they have done nothing but eat and most of the week's shopping has gone in 3 days!

OP posts:
applespearsbears · 31/12/2018 07:24

My budget is £300 for 3

flowerycurtain · 31/12/2018 07:26

Around £450 for 4 here. 2 adults 2 kids ages 6 and 3

Original poster
NeedSleepNow · 31/12/2018 07:26

EmUntitled, I have the child benefit and a small amount of tax credits that I have to use to pay for all the kids shoes, clothes, school trips, clubs, haircuts, my car, credit card, mobile phone bill then anything spare (almost nothing!) I try to save for days out during school holidays, my clothes, birthday presents etc. My husband pays a set amount into the joint account from his wages each month to cover the bills and food shopping.

OP posts:
Auntiepatricia · 31/12/2018 07:38

I suspect you’re being financially abused. Or else he is really stupid and has no clue how to treat his family properly and how much life costs. Which is it do you think OP?

You should have full access to all the family money which means all the money.

WhenLifeGivesYouLemonsx · 31/12/2018 07:42

Family of 3 (my husband, my DS2 and I). Approximately £250 a month. I go to Aldi and very rarely I will go Morrison's if I need something Aldi doesn't sell.

Santasshoe · 31/12/2018 07:42

£50 a week for food and everything. I'm a single mum of 3. Big items I really struggle with.

sar302 · 31/12/2018 07:47

And what's he doing with the rest of "his" money, that he's not prepared to let his wife and children have access to?

OhioOhioOhio · 31/12/2018 07:58

What Auntiepatricia said.

mamagrinandbearit · 31/12/2018 08:16

We budget around £300 per month for a family of 3 including a baby, covers nappies, formula, food, cleaning products and toiletries. It had previously been £200 pre baby but we had often eaten out or had takeaways as had much larger disposable incomes before my maternity leave.

My DH often doesn't understand the cost of our DS in that he didn't realise formula and nappies were so expensive. But we just had a good chat about it and adjusted our budget.

I hate on Mumsnet when people jump straight in with saying that abuse is going on.

OP have you talked to your partner and explained that you are struggling? Could you suggest that at times like Christmas the budget is adjusted? I think first steps is discussing it and asking where he thinks cut backs could be made if he really thinks £300 is the limit of what you can afford as a family,

ISdads · 31/12/2018 08:26

Where does the rest go?

We put 1000 towards household food/toiletries/days out. Another 1000 goes on mortgage and bills. The rest goes towards insurances, holidays, savings.

Family.of 5 but its 3 teens so like 5 adults really

Original poster
NeedSleepNow · 31/12/2018 08:35

There isn't a huge amount spare from his wages each month after paying for the bills, his car, food shopping etc. He tries to save a bit each month as the house needs some work. We should definitely be able to afford a bit extra for food though. My feeling is that for 5 of us, £400 a month would be a more realistic budget

OP posts:
WhirlwindHugs · 31/12/2018 08:35

We are a family of 5 and spend about £450 a month.

I agree - where are the rest of his wages going? You need to sit down and work out a reasonable budget. It's not for him to unilaterally set an amount that is not enough.

Another question is how do you really pay for new things for you? If you need a new pair of shoes or a jumper where does this money come from? Can you normally afford this from. Savings or is this building up credit card debt on essential purchases? And for DH in the same situation, what does he do?

Are the older 2 dc at school? If so and money is genuinely that tight, can you look at working part time? Maybe just at the evening/weekend or part time a few days pw?

MaverickSnoopy · 31/12/2018 08:36

Family of 5 (children are 7, 2 & newborn) and budget £250/month. Have done it some months but mostly spend £300 but would be much more fun on £350. However our income doesn't currently stretch to it so using savings to top up - soon to be non issue though.

Talking would be the first step. Then you'll have more of an idea about what's going on. I manage all of our finances so know down to the last penny where everything goes. Some more transparency will help you.

Bobbybobbins · 31/12/2018 08:39

Agree that you need to sit down and go over the budget.

I personally couldn't cope with having a set amount each month from my husband - reminds me of pocket money from my parents as a child!

LagunaBubbles · 31/12/2018 08:45

It's irrelevant really how much other people spend because you will always get someone saying it's enough. Both of you need to go over budget, why do you need it paid to you, doesn't he trust you to have access to his wages?

EmmaGrundyForPM · 31/12/2018 08:45

You.and your dh need to have a proper discussion and set a realistic budget.

Dh and I spend about £120 a week for a family of 4 plus pets when ds is home from uni. That includes everything apart from alcohol. If i needed to watch our budget i could get that down to £100 but would struggle to get much below that.

Haisuli · 31/12/2018 08:46

£100 a week for a family of four. So £433 a month. We live well off that, could.cut back a bit but would struggle on £300.

RosemarysBush · 31/12/2018 08:46

Family of four adults and 2 cats, £340 but it’s tight. How old is your 5th family member? Any pets, special dietary requirements?
Is he completely happy with what you all eat or does he have extra to buy lunch at work or treats for himself?

Squirrelblanket · 31/12/2018 08:49

We have £300 a month for just the two of us. We also work it into our budget to have an extra £100 on top of that at Christmas.

Panicmode1 · 31/12/2018 08:49

We have four children (14 to 8) and I spend about £135 a week on an online shop and top up probably £30 a week on stuff I've run out of/forgotten.

I menu plan and try and buy when things are on offer etc - and we go to Costco to bulk buy stuff, so that amount doesn't include toiletries, loo roll, cleaning products, and DH buys wine, so that is just our food budget, and we eat well.

I think £300 is tight, especially with prices having gone up so much lately (butter especially has been a bit of an eyeopener!).

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