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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbours kids hanging on other people's trees?

16 replies

singleascheeseslice · 30/12/2018 23:51

So I am practicing becoming more assertive and honest... And, as I drive in our road, I see the neighbours kids (nearly teens) swinging from our other neighbours tree,,, To explain we live in a kind of shared garden area but its quite obvious which grass/trees belong to who ( all private homes).

When I got out the car, I was planning on telling the kids, its not nice to do that to the tree but the dad was out on the drive cleaning his car, so I said... hi, your kids are swinging on that lady's tree... to which he responded by telling the kids to get out the tree. He obviously didn't have a problem previous to someone noticing it but he acted on it, so fair play to him.

My teen DD is embarrassed for life though cos I called the kids out to their dad infront of her. Did I do the wrong thing? Should I have told them off myself despite their dad being there? Or Should I have minded my business?

Could have been my tree though and I would defo have a problem with that...

AIBU, WWYD?

OP posts:

Orlande · 30/12/2018 23:55

What's the problem with kids climbing trees? Sounds like they hadn't let themselves into a garden?

Original poster

singleascheeseslice · 31/12/2018 00:02

No, its open plan gardens so maybe they don't realize its the other neighbours garden. I guess the problem is in my mind, they're causing mayhem on other peoples trees.

OP posts:

Orlande · 31/12/2018 00:03

What do you mean by causing mayhem?

LovesLaboursLost · 31/12/2018 00:04

Kids climb trees. Trees can cope.

CardsforKittens · 31/12/2018 00:05

Are they damaging the trees? Or is your concern more of a territorial thing? I think you'd be ok to ask the local kids not to climb your own tree if you feel strongly about it, but I'm not quite sure why you want to tell them off for playing on your neighbours' trees.

Fatasfook · 31/12/2018 00:06

Kids climb trees. Ffs

Original poster

singleascheeseslice · 31/12/2018 00:08

well their tree now looks worse for wear, blossom all over the road and branches hanging loose, I have the same tree just a little distance over but mine has lights in it. If they'd have done that to mine, I'd be upset.

The other neighbours been away for a christmas so is unaware of it right now, I was just trying to keep the peace by saying something, are you guys saying I shouldn't have said owt?

OP posts:

horsesheep · 31/12/2018 00:09

I would be okay if a group of kids climbed the tree in my garden, as long as the tree nor my garden suffered any damage. Kids are kids, trees are strong.

horsesheep · 31/12/2018 00:10

And when I say damage, I dont mean leaves and sticks falling to the ground, I mean tree snapped in half kind of damage.

CardsforKittens · 31/12/2018 00:11

are you guys saying I shouldn't have said owt?

No, if they're actually damaging the tree I would say something too.

Sitranced · 31/12/2018 00:11

Blossom? In December? Where do you live?

Original poster

singleascheeseslice · 31/12/2018 00:17

yes the tree is flimsy and damaged, not sure what its called @sitranced its pink flowers, very pretty. Mine has more berries than flowers though.

I am more than open to being told I am unreasonable just want to make sure it is the case. My DD ofc thinks I am. The kids next door think I am.

But I think if we are gonna swing from anyones trees, make sure its our own first or something like that .

OP posts:

tinesltitties · 31/12/2018 00:27

I think you were right to say something.

Kids climbing trees is ok, but kids going into another persons garden and climbing their trees? Not ok.

I'm surprised anyone thinks its acceptable and I'm quite sure of random kids came into their garden and started climbing their trees they would soon change their minds.

CardsforKittens · 31/12/2018 00:28

But I think if we are gonna swing from anyones trees, make sure its our own first or something like that

Fair point! How is their own tree? Hale and hearty? Or slightly withered? At first I was imagining a fairly sturdy oak tree but if your trees are ornamental cherry trees or something like that I can see that preteens could do some harm. I know next to nothing about trees but was a climber as a kid

FortunesFave · 31/12/2018 00:28

If it's a spindly, youngish tree then of course children shouldn't climb on it.

Original poster

singleascheeseslice · 31/12/2018 00:41

Thank you guys yes, they're some kind of berry trees, that have pretty pink flowers usually. The tree where the kids come from has been wrecked to some extent, the boys have had fun swinging from it. Mine has had xmas lights in it so they've left it alone.

The other neighbors still had blossom and they've trashed it over xmas. Maybe I should have left it for the other neighbour to deal with when she gets back. I am still finding my feet with this assertiveness lark.

OP posts:

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