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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop using this hairdresser

42 replies

Nutmeggy · 30/12/2018 19:19

Hi all,

Having been using a mobile hair dresser for the last year who lives locally.

She comes to mine at the weekend for a morning or afternoon for about 3 and a half hours .

Nothing at all wrong with her work. However for various reasons she has to bring her seven year old son with her on appointments.

Totally get that she hasn't got cover but the last few times she has come round he has been very hard work as he is obviously bored, can't say I blame him.

I schedule a hair appointment when I am on my own and like to watch a film and relax whilst having hair done.

Last few times her son has jumped all over the furniture , opened all doors in house including b3drooms, chased pets around and managed to book several films on Amazon prime with fire stick when I wasn't paying attention.

Last time he came round he went in my ensuite and made a mess loudly of the toilet which I then had to clean up after they had left, thought then as cleaning shit stains never again.

She has wished me a happy Christmas and I feel a bit guilty but I don't find it relaxing at all.

AIBU to use a new hairdresser and just not book again?

OP posts:
Sitranced · 30/12/2018 19:22

I wouldn't think twice about looking for a new hairdresser if they brought along their kid whether they were well behaved or not.

recklessruby · 30/12/2018 19:26

Go for it OP. You are the customer and you are paying for the hair cut. You are not a child minder.

Cheerbear23 · 30/12/2018 19:26

No it’s not on. I could understand if it’s a one off and she’s struggled for childcare, but it sounds as if he’s bored to death and therefore been like badly behaved and a nuisance.

Grumpbum123 · 30/12/2018 19:30

I had to stop having a mobile hairdresser when she brought her two children they ran through the hair and I was cleaning hair from places I never though hair could get including inside the toaster

Nellabella · 30/12/2018 19:30

That’s defibitely not on, he was clearly bored out if his head, probably been to a few other appointments too-I had a new mobile hairdresser recently and she called my 1 year old a little shit!! I think she was trying to be jokey but the more I thought about it the more I thought it was out of order, especially as she is well behaved and causing no problems in MY house!

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 30/12/2018 19:31

Yes I think it's boredom poor kid. I feel.badly as I think she is a single mum as no.memtion of a father ever.
However it's always a v stressful few hours and I can't wait to see the back of them when they are here.
He is always asking if he can buy films for a fiver a go on Amazon and I have to say no, also don't particularly like him wondering round the house unsupervised.
She texted me recently asking if I wanted hair done b3fore NY so I just said I'm ok at the moment.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 30/12/2018 19:31

You have a business relationship - don’t think twice about finding someone else.

cowfacemonkey · 30/12/2018 19:32

Sod that for a game of soldiers! I would stop using her, if you’re feeling brave be honest about why.

MadameButterface · 30/12/2018 19:34

Yanbu to stop using any hairdresser for any reason at any time provided you give at least 72 hrs cancellation notice of any existing appointments.

AtrociousCircumstance · 30/12/2018 19:34

There are so many threads about this - just change the details.

Really it’s about women not feeling like they are entitled to have what they need and want. Ignoring their own reasonable boundaries.

Relatives decide to come on your second honeymoon with you? Don’t say anything, you can’t be rude.

Friends demand you lend them your holiday home as a raffle prize? No way you can deny them. You can’t be rude. Do what they want. Ignore your feelings.

Acquaintance wants to use your face as a doormat. SAY YES DON’T BE RUDE.

Come ON, everyone!!!

SayNoToCarrots · 30/12/2018 19:39

she called my 1 year old a little shit!

Woah wtf!!

ISmellBabies · 30/12/2018 19:48

Doesn't she tell him off when he's misbehaving? Did she hear him messing up the en-suite? She should have cleaned up after him. And asking you if he can buy films on your Netflix is really, really rude. I can't believe she lets him be so cheeky! I'd be honest that the hair thing is a three hour nightmare instead of a relax and you'll be finding someone else. Sounds like she'll be badgering you for your next appointment otherwise.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 30/12/2018 19:56

No she doesn't tell him just laughs indulgently.
Yes she heard the toilet episode as he left door open but no didn't clean up which really annoyed me.
Yes I am going to tell her I have found another hair dresser though won't say why.

OP posts:
Aaaahfuck · 30/12/2018 19:58

You're totally reasonable to not have her back to do your hair! If she asks you outright I'd tell her as it may lose her other business. I'm sure she only does it because she had to but you don't have to pay for it!

KMoKMo · 30/12/2018 20:02

To be honest I’d probably message her and tell her why. It’s totally unprofessional and she may come up with another solution if she realises she’s going to lose your business.
If she did this with all her clients I’m sure she wouldnt have many left so I’m wondering if she’s realised you won’t say anything and saves herself paying for childcare when she does your hair. Sorry OP but don’t let her walk all over you. Be honest and tell her you have a problem with it. I don’t know anyone else who’d be comfortable with a relative strangers child mooching all over their house!

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 30/12/2018 20:05

I've messaged her and said I have found another hairdresser and won't be booking any further appointments

OP posts:
PatchworkElmer · 30/12/2018 20:11

That’s brave of you OP- I would’ve probably just kept saying no thanks! Your way is definitely better.

Maybe think about how you will respond if she asks why though!

twoshedsjackson · 30/12/2018 20:12

Is it possible to have her round when her son is safely at school?
I don't know what your lifestyle is, so if you can only see her when she has her son in tow, I think what PP's have suggested, telling her that you have found another hairdresser, may be the way to let her down gently.
But if it's possible, why not ask specifically for a time when her son is not there? And explain why? You can put it sympathetically, "It can't be much fun for him" etc but if she queries it, you might try to explain to her that he is damaging her business, and you want her to do well.
If she is not aware of the problem, despite your hints, I'm sorry to say that her business will not thrive.....

coconutpie · 30/12/2018 20:14

You should have said in your message why you don't want her services anymore.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 30/12/2018 20:21

Interestingly she has just thanked me for letting her know , but hasn't asked why and I would have been reasonably honest if she had asked.

I work in the week so evening and weekend appointments she has her son with her so wasn't possible to book with just her.

OP posts:
user1andonly · 30/12/2018 20:22

I doubt you'll be the first to stop using her due to her bringing her child.

She really needs to sort out childcare as she'll lose loads of work otherwise.

Not the poor child's fault but I can't imagine many people being thrilled about it.

edwardcullensotherwoman · 30/12/2018 20:26

YANBU, that is totally unacceptable behaviour. A friend of mine is a mobile hairdresser and sometimes has to take her children to appointments if she has no childcare - she would never tolerate them behaving like that! She takes snacks for them and checks with client if ok/where ok to eat them, and makes sure they have their own toys/tablet/her phone to keep them occupied.
Nothing wrong with bringing them as a one off, and if yours is a single mum it's totally understandable as she'd lose money if she didn't show. BUT she should be keeping her child under control.

Original poster
Nutmeggy · 30/12/2018 20:34

Just messaged her back and explained nothing wrong with the hair but that after her last visit I had to scrub the toilet to clean it and found 4 films been charged to my Amazon account and I found it too stressful. At least she knows

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 30/12/2018 20:38

Well done OP!

thebaronetofcockburn · 30/12/2018 20:39

Why even hesitate? I'd have dumped her after the first time without a second thought. So many wet people on MN.