To not give a shit?

[codenameduchess]

Friend is pregnant, end of first trimester but had been trying for a while. I've known since early days and it's the only thing she will talk about, started rubbing her belly at 6 or 7 weeks and hasn't stopped yet.

All fine right? Friend is excited, that's lovely! And I am happy for her, however I've stopped caring now- it's just too much! Endless texts, but only about her pregnancy and how hard it is and how awful she feels and the horror that her MIL let her carry a basket around the supermarket (the horror right?!).

When I was pregnant the same friend never once asked how me/baby were, has done nothing but complain about my own kid (now 3) on the few occasions she has seen her- mine is no angel but what toddler is?

I saw this friend today and for 2 hours she talked about herself, how awful it all is and rubbed her belly the whole time. If I tried to politely change the subject it was ignored.

Is it awful I just don't really want to hear it anymore? The odd snippet or whatever but it's just too much now.

FWIW, I remember being pregnant and life carried on, I worked, shopped, held conversations and was painting the ceiling hours before giving birth! I'm also ttc a second and having my own fertility problems.

Haha YANBU if it’s as bad as you say it is.

I have no time for people though who have very little interest in others whether they’re pregnant or it. Self centredness is a horrible trait.

Or not*

@squaksquak I know what you mean, and I feel bad for not being interested in this for her... I've really tried! I just think if she's even faked interest in anything (how was your Christmas? How's your DD?) it'd have been easier to deal with.

Bin her.

I can't stand self absorbed people. Maybe go over bored with the pregnancy questions and be an overbearing intrusive twat and she m ight get fed up of talking about it herself 😂

YANBU, I would definitely take a step back from her. Could you be very busy with work, perhaps?

I’d just see her less tbh.

Yanbu. Pull back and be less available and givjng if all she does is take. My friend was like this so i backed right off. She's not happy i'm not enamoured by pfb but so what?

Yanbu. She's acting like a delicate little flower. Mil made her carry a basket round a shop? Wait till she has dc 2 and has to pick up a squirmy toddler or a sick child like all mothers do! Pregnancy isn't an illness. I don't think I could button my lip if I was you.

YANBU. I don't have kids but almost all my best friends do and they were never like that. A woman I worked with announced at 3 months she was pregnant and for the rest of it that was all we ever heard. Loud announcements of how at 3m pregnant she cannot possibly go get her own lunch from the fridge she needs people to do it for her... painful.

I had a friend like that .Thought she was the only pregnant women in the world. Its gets boring in the end. I can understand her rubbing her tummy when Shes 9 months pregnant 2 day off having the baby, but not a 6 weeks.
I'm.sorry but it just looks stupid.
She's sounds a tad insensitive too. I know you're not trying but other people who she is rubbi ng it in their faces might be.
She knows what's its like to struggle.
As you say. You offer your congratulations ect ect and have done. You don't want to hear about it constantly for the next 8 months. That's not being unreasonable that's just life.

Sorry op. I can see you are trying again. That makes her more insensitive. However to flip in for a minute and said with care and sensitivity would she say that you unintentionally rubbed salt in the wounds when you were having your dd.

I'd find this annoying too. I'm eight months pregnant but I have no interest in discussing it ad nauseum with people. It's really not that interesting to people other than me (and actually it's not really that interesting to me sometimes! Most of the time I'm just carrying on with life perfectly normally). I think some people think they are the first person to ever become pregnant or that it's something for others to be in awe of, despite the fact it's a perfectly normal thing to happen. I'm still exactly the same person, just larger (and more gassy).

You should've rubbed her belly too

Also at six weeks she wasn't even rubbing the baby when she rubbed her tummy. She was probably rubbing constipated poop backed up in her digestive system if her first trimester has been anything like mine. Yay for poop babies.

Would you think about saying you’re having problems TTC and it’s too painful to talk about her pregnancy? More diplomatic than saying she’s boring you shitless.

If she's like this now, what's she going to be like in the third trimester when things do get tougher? And then when she's had the baby you'll never hear the end of his/her first burp/poo/smile not to mention her sore nipples and lack of sleep (although it sounds like she''d declare herself so fragile that everyone else had to do it all).
And then when he/she goes to nursery, first says mama, gets a certificate for the 50m breaststroke......

Back off for your own sanity, or she'll still be talking at you when the child is 50

Is your friend Meghan markle?

Hahaha she thinks it’s hard now? Bless

You should’ve rubbed her belly too

Yes!

@Awwlookatmybabyspider I was very aware that other people may be having their own struggles when I was pregnant as I'd had plenty myself (3 years of them with losses thrown in) also, I found talking about my pregnancy boring! What interest was it to anyone but my DH and maybe my mum.... but also at that time she was vocal that she never wanted kids.

Argh @MortyVicar I hadn't even thought ahead to when it's actually here! It's going to be endless 🤮 she already spams us all with every move of the cat!!