To be upsset about not being aknowledged in my own home

[Needadoughnut]

DP has bigger problems than me. I'm having a shitty day regardless (close to that time of the month) so I've told him that it's fine to no worry about me so much, I'm used to feeling this way. Anyways, DPs DS doesn't like being at home with us, he finds out lifestyle boring and he really wants an Xbox. We're barely scrapping by so buying one is for now out of the question. These children are used to having tantrums to get whatever they want. Today, on their way to get to our home, he apparently ran away. He was found back in their house. DP didn't seem that worried. They finally dropped him off, and then my DP, his exW and her DP had a chat in the car. Then they all.proceeded to come in and have a grand tour of the house. I stayed in the kitchen giving them so privacy, but I would have thought they should at least come and say hi. I know I'm not his exWs favourite person, fair enough, but it's my home and I do play some part in raising their child. I know I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but that definitely hasn't helped with how I feel today

Why didn't you pop your head round and say hello?

Sorry you're having a hard day Need but I think yabu. If I went into someone's house and one of the couple stayed in the kitchen I would assume that meant they were avoiding me/us. I certainly wouldn't then wander into the room they were in and force them to interact. Of course they may not even have realised you were home either.

To give them space, I thought that was the polite thing to do. They definitely knew I was home, my DD and car were there.

Agree with pp that you should have gone and said hello to them and they probably thought it odd that you didn't.

If you go into someone's home you don't wander around looking for people to say hello to, they come to you.

I'd have left you alone if you stayed in the kitchen too. It sent a signal that you didn't want to engage.

If you wanted to give them privacy; I'd have greeted them when they came in and then gone into the kitchen to leave them to it.

I don't know it's a difficult one. I haven't met her DP and all animosity comes from her. Even her DD mentions how much she "hates" me. Again, if I hadn't had horrible intrusive thoughts earlier (which I'm used to this part of the cycle) I know I ould have been in a better place. Just today was a bad day for it to happen. Which I can most certainly acknowledge.

I would have gone out of the kitchen to say hello

I would have said hello. They probably thought you were avoiding them.

What's the exwife's issue that you accept this? Was there some 'cross over' at the start of your relationship?

Why was she allowed in your home? Do exw is a tad like this (no crossover divorced 5 years ebfore we met). She is never allowed in my house , she never invites me in and kept me outside as she forgot chidlten shoes and I was 37 weeks pregnant. That for me set the tone - so she isn't allowed and dp understands

Sorry you’re having a bad day, but I think you’re being unreasonable. There’s issues there, the Ex dislikes you and you know this. Therefore why would they come and say hello? She probably thought you were staying out of her way. If you wanted to be acknowledged you should have made the move to be assertive in your home.

I understand I should have been assertive. But I was not in the right place (mind wise).

I might be being a bit dim here but if it's your home you don't have to have any of them in it. If you partners kids don't like being at your home then tell your partner they can't visit.

@needadoughnut - sounds to me like you need to give yourself a break. And have a nice piece of cake. Accept you felt hurt, but also accept they didn’t do anything wrong. Happy New Year

Why were they touring your house. Suggest to DP that next time DS is dropped off you'd like to tour theirs. I can't see the prob there.