Being vague about details, the job I do requires us to work closely with one other person (ill call him Sam) say 85% of the time we are working together in the field, 5% of the time were working with someone else in the field and 10% of the time we are in the office with around 10-15 other people.
We are all a close group but naturally Sam and I are (so I thought) great friends. Last week was the work Christmas do (more than just the office, it was a big function room with about 80 of us from different departments) I was sat with Sam and several times I felt him 'accidentally' touching me, think leg under the table, hand on top of the table. I thought it was strange but put it down to him being drunk, as we all were. later on we were all dancing, and he kept putting his hand on my back. not gropey but as you would with a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Any way I kept my distance and next working day I just said I think someone had too much the other night you were all over the place. he looked suitably embarrassed so I thought that was it.
Any way skip to this Friday after work ( we occasionally go to the local bar on Friday for an hour, home by 7pm, maybe once a month, 5 or 6 of us)
So I was getting some drinks and he said last week he was not as drunk as he made out and his actions weren't accidental. he wants more than just a friendship with me! I told him exactly what I thought of that and confirmed to him that im very happily married (with 2 kids!) and that I thought he was and he suggested that it could be an 'additional' relationship, ie, don't tell our partners.
I walked out and haven't spoken to him since, I thought we were lucky to have a close platonic relationship with the opposite sex but clearly I was wrong. anyway sorry for the long backstory I didn't want to drip feed.
I am going to request a partner change at work, not because I don't trust myself (I would never cross that line) but because tbh I don't even want to work with him let alone be 'mates' with him. he has gone way down in my estimation.
I don't want to tell his wife, she is pregnant and as nothing has happened (besides sam apparently being a sleaze) I feel like it will just wreck their family for nothing.
AIBU or should I let her make that decision? should she know what hes like? would she even believe me? ive met her twice (she has been to a couple of awards things weve had) and Sam and I have worked together for 3 years.
WWYD