AIBU for how i feel about my sons autism.

[saffkey1]

My DS is 5 and is severely autistic.I have two younger children with my DH.AIBU to not,as everyone else suggests i should,be really ott positive about my child being autistic .I have tried,but I find alot of people say shitty things like ‘i wouldnt change a thing’ when i really would.I love my son dearly and i will support him until i die but if i could give him a tablet i would.I just worry so much about him,about his life being hard.I also get incredibly jealous of those with ‘normal’ 5 year olds who complain about them.Im not sure whether im being awful for feeling this way.

My son is 3yo and currently he doesn't have any melt downs or behavioural issues, but I live in fear of them. He's pre-verbal at the moment, doesn't seem to understand instructions, but then some things he does. He can do things he doesn't like, just tolerates them, like brushing his teeth. And he doesn mind if we don't do something that we usually do, eg book or bath before bed, he's not rigid or has a routine. Can these things change as he grows?

Can someone pls tell me how to start a new thread, I need advice in another area (step families). I can't figure out how to do it.

I am nearly 50, and have the disorder formerly known as Asperger's. If there were a magic cure, I would take it. Autism has severely limited my life choices.