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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have zero sympathy

41 replies

Itsmemargie · 30/12/2018 09:49

Mil has come to visit and she’s lovely and I love spending time with her, I also work nights and as it’s the Xmas period I cannot have annual leave.

Dh has had 2 weeks off so far.

Last night before I went for a night shift I cooked a lamb roast and pudding, served it, tidied up and off I went with apologises to mil.

I woke up at 9am this morning and dh is still snoring next to me? Mil is up with the dc.

Turns out after I left for work dh has gone to bed with a stomach ache, he’s left mil to bath kids, put them to bed, tidy up after dinner and also get up with the kids.

I’ve asked him if he took pain killers and the answer is no as usual!

He said now taken paracetamol begrudgingly and is moping around

Aibu? I have zero sympathy. Just take painkillers if you are in pain.

OP posts:

kaitlinktm · 30/12/2018 11:33

Well, he's clearly an arse but I wouldn't be wasting any sympathy on his mother either because she raised him to be like this. In fact, why don't you sit and watch tv with him and leave herto get on with it.

That's right, blame the mother as usual - and punish her in this case too! How delightful! I presume he didn't have a father then, or are fathers not responsible for their children's faults, only mothers?

stopitandtidyupp · 30/12/2018 11:34

Doctor here. I hear lots of people say they didn't take painkillers because they 'didn't want to mask the pain' ie they wouldn't know if something serious was going on if they took something to reduce the pain.

For me it's not that its something more serious. I just like to know if I have a headache or pain or whatever. I don't know why and it sounds silly when I write it down. I just like to know. Weird I know.

It would not lay in bed and let someone else do the work though.

Tara336 · 30/12/2018 11:42

I’ll join you in zero sympathy! My DP has had problems with his teeth for the last year. He finally went and got them sorted now bott M teeth are playing up and he looks liked hamster today. Refuses any offer of help and prefers to be a martyr whilst moaning at me about it. Why do men do this, just get it sorted when problem arises it’s not difficult

SoupDragon · 30/12/2018 11:44

Do people really take pain killers for a stomach ache?

SoupDragon · 30/12/2018 11:44

(Genuine question, not an arsy one!)

Stormy76 · 30/12/2018 11:47

God he is being such an arse, acting like a stroppy teen because his mum is there. Frankly it's his mum who needs to have a word with him ....perhaps she has and that's why he is sulking?

Bornlazy · 30/12/2018 12:00

Why are you up so early after a night shift?

NotTheFordType · 30/12/2018 12:31

I wouldn't take painkillers for a stomach ache - for period cramps, yes. Obviously not applicable in this case!

Generally a stomach ache for me means I've eaten too much or I've got trapped wind, so a brisk walk usually does me better than taking anything.

Does sound like the DH in this case may have been milking it to get out of the evening chores.

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2018 12:32

Paracetamol won’t do anything for a stomach ache.

RainbowBriteRules · 30/12/2018 12:47

I’m not sure he really deserves such a flaming? If I am a grandparent, I hope when I visit I will be helping my grown up DC with housework and childcare (unless of course I am doing regular childcare). I certainly won’t expect to have cups of tea made or be treated like some kind of VIP. It’s not a hotel.

The OP is working hard, her DH is knackered / ill, it is kind of MIL to help. I often think of the kind of grandparent I hope to be. Certainly I hope I would arrive and tell you both to sit down / sleep immediately while I cooked and occupied DC. I can rest when I get home and would be there to work! Daily life with DC is relentless and if I could ease my own DCs’ load when I visited I would be thrilled.

53rdWay · 30/12/2018 12:58

Why would paracetamol not do anything for a stomach ache? Surely it works in the brain, not by ‘fixing’ whatever’s causing the pain in the first place?

Was rather at the triage midwives suggesting it for labour though!

user1andonly · 30/12/2018 13:00

Stomach ache is a bit vague. Is there a reason for this stomach ache? Is it something he often comes down with when he fancies a night off?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/12/2018 13:01

Stomach ache is usually caused by food poisoning, overeating, wind, ibs or just needing a good old shit. Paracetamol wouldn't help with any of those things.

53rdWay · 30/12/2018 13:05

Yes but paracetamol doesn’t work by fixing whatever’s causing the pain, it works by reducing the pain signals to your brain, so surely it would work for a stomach ache as much as a headache or period pains?

MadeForThis · 30/12/2018 13:19

Does he usually revert to being a child when MIL is visiting. Sound like he is leaving all the responsibilities to your mil. Lying watching tv instead of actually parenting his dc.

cardibach · 30/12/2018 13:19

Along with Bornlazy I’m wondering why you would wake up at 9am after a night shift. Surely you e only just gone to bed? I realise this is not the main point of the thread...

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