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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell NCT group movement monitors don't work?

73 replies

ThatsmycatKate · 30/12/2018 09:22

My NCT group have babies 2-4 months old at the moment so folks are starting to think about moving to their own rooms etc. One woman has mentioned she's gotten a movement monitor so it's "ok" to put baby in her own room now.

Now there's nothing wrong with putting baby in his/her own room whenever you're comfortable with the risks/benefits (we're currently weighing it up because the risk to my mental health because of not sleeping versus the tiny tiny risk of SIDS for DD is much greater so I'm really not judging!) but the movement monitors don't work! There is no evidence whatsoever to show that they are effective in reducing SIDS.

AIBU to say something to the group? One slightly panicky mum has already bought one and if it brings her peace of mind, great. I don't want to ruin that but equally I don't want everyone else to collectively spend £100s on something that isn't effective!

OP posts:
AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe · 30/12/2018 10:16

OP only mention that they are not recommended if they bring it up and refer them to the Lullaby Trust's website for guidelines on safer sleeping.

Not all NCT teachers are crap - mine referred us all to the Lullaby Trust. Then so does my HV team.

LotsToThinkOf · 30/12/2018 10:18

They’re not a substitue for supervision, but they do work. If the baby stops moving then they activate. I’m not sure why you say they don’t work?

MuncheysMummy · 30/12/2018 10:18

Strongerthanthought YES! They really have and YES it is infinitely safer for baby to sleep in the same room as mum until 6 months old as a minimum so much more is understood now about SIDS and the positive effects of hearing mums breathing reminds them to breathe themselves.

RCohle · 30/12/2018 10:22

OP is there any reason why the other parents are less capable of doing research and reaching their own conclusions than you? I'd leave them to it to be honest, unless you have particular qualifications that give you a special insight.

Witchend · 30/12/2018 10:23

I think it would be "bossy prefect" behaviour to try and stop people getting something that may bring peace of mind and doesn't do any harm.
And, on the basis that 2 people in this not particularly well used group have come on to say it saved the life of their baby, can you imagine if you tell them not to get one, they don't and then their baby would have been one of those two?

AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe · 30/12/2018 10:25

@GenerationSnowflake I've seen some US advice that says kept baby in your room for a year. Not seen the 3 month advice.

Though from family and friendship circle that span different cultures most babies and toddlers don't end up in their own rooms until nearly 2. Even then it's not rare to find they have climbed into an older sibling's bed at some point in the night.

@StrongerThanIThought76 a good few things have changed. This is why some new parents get cross with grandparents, and even relations who had children 5 years ago.

AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe · 30/12/2018 10:29

@Witchend it's always worth directing people to guidelines and then leaving them to make up their minds. That way they are making an educated choice on any risks they are taking.

Nothisispatrick · 30/12/2018 10:30

There’s two pp on this thread who would’ve lost their babies without one, that’s good enough for me! I don’t actually have one but maybe I should.

BlimeyCalmDown · 30/12/2018 10:32

I would say something if they were intending to use it and ignore the guidelines. If they are using it together then no harm done even if it doesn't work. SIDS may be rare but it still happens, there have been 3 or 4 cases in the London borough neighbouring mine in the last year. Not worth the risk IMO.

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 30/12/2018 10:37

I had one and I felt reassured. Why do you think they don't work?

pinkcardi · 30/12/2018 10:37

Ours saved our DD1.

So thank god we didn't have a helpful friend like you to advise us

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 30/12/2018 10:38

Our babies were in our room btw and I still felt the need for one.

GenerationSnowflake · 30/12/2018 10:39

AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe

on the continent, it tends to be countries where the women go back to work at 3 months!
All mine went in their own bedroom within a couple of months, my last one was a crap sleeper still is so ended up co-sleeping. Do what works best for you!

Wigwambam10 · 30/12/2018 10:43

They do work. DS alarm went off when he was 3 months old and he had stopped breathing. DH resuscitated him. It and DH saved his life

ReanimatedSGB · 30/12/2018 10:43

If someone asks you whether you will be buying one, it's OK to say no and say why. But don't barge in insisting everyone agree with you and obey you. You may be right, you may be wrong, but what other parents do in a case like this is not actually any of your business.

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter · 30/12/2018 10:44

It depends what you mean by "won't work".

If my baby stops breathing, the monitor alerts me and I'm able to get to him and do CPR then that is very much working.

The child would stop breathing with or without the monitor. So best alert the parents than not alert the parents.

In which case the monitor would work....

Thewifipasswordis · 30/12/2018 10:46

Saved the life of my son twice, once the night he was born in hospital (we had the clip on nappy one) and he had to be whisked away - once when he was 7m old with the Angelcare monitor. His breathing rates had dropped too low as his temperature had crashed (a major potential cause of SIDS that is being studied).

We were 'high risk' for SIDS due to several instances in both family lines (including my own twin sister) and the consultants suggested them or one from the hospital if they were available (none were).

I'd take their recommendation over yours TBH Op. They saved my sons life.

TheNewYear · 30/12/2018 10:46

The only recommendation for safer sleeping that is backed up by research to reduce SIDS at 2-4 months is for the baby to sleep in the same room as its parents/carers at all times, along with other guidelines like not smoking/drinking/sleeping on sofas etc.

From my understanding the monitors do tend to work, but the problem is that they also go off at the wrong time on frequent occasions. For some parents, perhaps they would prefer to be disturbed by 1000 false alarms than not on the one time their baby needs it. Remember that most babies do not die of SIDS and there isn’t a need for the monitor to go off when needed.

Reallybadidea · 30/12/2018 10:47

@StrongerThanIThought76

I don't think the guidelines have changed! I have a 19yo and as far as I can remember the advice to keep them in your room for 6 months was in place then.

HoHoHoHoHoHoHoHoHoHoHo · 30/12/2018 10:50

I wouldn't tell them. I had them with both my children who were mostly in my room. It was an extra assurance they were ok. My theory was if SIDS is caused by a deep sleep, the alarm, and me, would be able to resuscitate or rouse them which wouldn't be an option if I wasn't aware until hours later. Its also good when you wake up to see the light going rather than have to get out of bed to feel for a breath. For me these have been key for me to be able to sleep and for my mental health. Before i bought my first one for my first baby, i spent the first 7 days of his life barely sleeping - with my hand on his tummy fot mist of the night

Birdsgottafly · 30/12/2018 10:51

We had a Baby die in the Family that our local famous children's hospital was OK to class as SIDS (no critism intended).

There was a visiting lung specialist, who asked the Parents permission to do a further autopsy (in layman's terms), they said yes, because they wanted answers.

It turned our the Baby died from a, once thought, very rare form of Bronchiolitis. The Consultant's theory is that a lot of SIDS diagnoses aren't correct. This form is still a rare cause of death, at present.

But Canada, now doesn't give SIDS as a cause of death and opinion is shifting.

I don't know anything about the monitors, though and if they would work for other causes of stopping breathing/movements.

TheDarkPassenger · 30/12/2018 10:53

Mine worked. Son had snuggled himself into a corner and was struggling to breathe. I feel sick at the thought of what could have happened.

If you started banging on like a know it all in a group I suspect there’ll be a lot of eye rolling and maybe even a swift MYOB.

Honestly op, MYOB

Crockof · 30/12/2018 10:54

The lullaby trust will lend them to you if you have a previous cot death so they obviously have there place.

Birdsgottafly · 30/12/2018 10:56

StrongerThanIThought76, yes there is a big reduction in the death of babies, or even brain damage, if they are kept in your room for six months.

It isn't just SIDS that's an issue.

The US is starting to say three months, but tbh, I find a lot of their research is wanting to show that babies don't need the care that other Countries say they do, especially from the Mother. I don't know whether that's dictated by a lack of reproductive rights, wanting women back into the workforce and 50/50 care, etc. It seems biased.

BertieBotts · 30/12/2018 11:02

The research about room sharing doesn't actually tell us up to which point it makes a difference, that's why different countries' advice specifies different time frames.

If you just tell people it's safer that's not a guideline, people like concrete advice. But if you tell people too long of a time frame they will decide it's ridiculous and not bother. If you tell people too short of a time frame many will switch at or shortly before. It' s a balance they have to walk culturally as well as with the evidence.

Personally 4 months is the earliest I'd move one but we did start putting DS2 to bed in the evening at 3 months.

SIDS simply means unexplained death, it's not a condition as such, it's a catch all for things we don't have an easy explanation for. Small babies are delicate.