To not know how to potty train

[Pimperknickel]

DS is 3.5 years but I can't get him to understand or communicate with me about needing to wee / having a wee in his potty. He has very limited words and he's delayed slightly in comprehension

If you ask if he's had a wee, it's honestly 50/58 what the answer will be.

If he's nappy less he will wee ragardless.

He'll sit on the potty on command but do nothing and not for very long.

Nursery accept him in nappies but obviously that's not forever and he starts reception in September.

What am I doing wrong??

My ds now 6 nearly 7, has a developmental delay, he wasen't ready until 4:5 years. I put him in pants at 3.5 years and was trying with no avail to potty train him, but ended up cleaning wee and poo for a year with no understanding or desire. He went to the local school nursery at 4 and saw that all the other boys were wearing pants and using the toilet, and he wanted to be like them, and the penny gradually dropped for him. Night was a doddle, he was clean and dry at night be 5 years, I thought that I was in the for long haul.

If they have SN, it is going to take longer, it does not sound like your ds is ready yet. Try again when he is 4. I bought my ds a potty training watch that he would wear, I set the alarm every 40 mins, he would have to sit on the potty/toilet regardless even just for a few seconds, and that would be rewarded by a chocolate button, 1 for sitting on the toilet, 2 for a wee and 3 for a poo. It gradually sunk in plus going to the local school nursery.

and seeing the other kids in pants using the toilet. The penny finally dropped.

My eldest has special needs but it wasn't really recognised earlier on. Her toilet habits were atrocious and she rarely did anything in the right place at the right time. I would speak to your health visitor and ask if based on any delays etc it's worth having your littlun looked at, as if there is any underlying need causing a problem, then trying to force the issue with littlun will potentially cause more harm than good.

If he has SN then reception have to accept him in nappies, the school that ds goes to were all ready to do that, until he did it himself just before school.

My DS has HFA but very little delay - it’s more stubbornness. The one area I struggled with was potty training. I tried at 3 and abandoned it after a week. 3y 8m I tried again as he’d shown a bit of interest.

Basically this is what I did.

Potty out all the time
Pants/clothes on (not naked)
Crossed my fingers

In the lead up I’d point out toilet stuff, so ‘oooh! You’re doing a wee in the bath’ and ‘oh look! You’re doing a poo’ etc.

I think days 1-3 were just a disaster but all of a sudden he got it and he was weeing and pooing in the potty reliably after a week. Having the clothes on means they get used to the wet sensation. I also picked him up and put him on the potty if I saw ‘the crouch’

He’s only wet the bed once ever, and had 4/5 accidents out of the house in total.

I think that if you wait until they’re really ready they get it more quickly.

Oh, and we read Pirate Pete Potty too.

School are good, thry mentioned in the nursery meeting they expected kids toilet trained if possibly but we're quick to assure me it was fine with DS, he has a 121 and not to worry. They've not mentioned it at all but I'M aware he's one of only a few. He's already noticeably different as he's on permanent o2, has a 121, doesn't talk much at all (random noises and songs) and doesn't really interact with the kids how they do so he already stands out, I don't want this to be another thing but he's so UNAWARE!!
And of course I have typical younger niece and nephews who are all potty trained / training stupendously and whilst I shouldn't compare... How do you not compare??

I'm so worried he'll never get it. He's in mainstream school and he doesn't need an additional THINH iyswim.

We're trying regular sits in potty.

I ask "do you know when you want a wee / do you get a feeling here when you need a wee" etc and he just looks at me blankly. If I ask if he wants to go on the bus and where does he want to go for lunch he can answer quick enough lol.

I thought about one of those weeing dolls but they're so expensive

DMIL reckons he. Just needs to watch DH pee and he'll be sorted.

He concentrates for a poo but I cannot tell for a second if he's weeing. I just periodically do the crotch grab to check for wetness.

Tried pants under nappy, he didn't notice although he did cry initially at the pants he calmed down once a nappy was on too.

Personally I’d dump the nappy when you’re doing it. Just short sessions. An hour at a time is fine.

He’ll be ready when he’s ready.

Your DH showing him is a good idea.

My son (ASD) was 3.5 but even my NT son was nearly 3.

I am reluctant to recommend this as I know she evokes strong feelings, and I disagree with everything else she does but Gina Ford’s potty training book was great and what finally worked for both boys.

I'll see I can Google it or lend it, thanks

Yeah think nappy off and mop be only answer, at least then I can tell HV I've tried it all

Go cold turkey with the nappy and get rid. This is why summers more ideal but do it now whilst there’s no school run? We did it this time last year.
Also stop asking there’s no point. Put him in the potty after every meal and every drink. Give him loads of water then sit him on the potty 10ish mins later read a book, watch the telly etc until he’s had a wee then praise like crazy. He’ll catch on after a few times (probs not accident free) but should be more aware of it.

I can for meals but it's harder for water. He'd tube fed milk so could do it at the end of that. He drinks water a bit but pushing lots of water through his tube is counter productive for his eating and drinking.
Milk takes 20 minutes to go through, so right at the end of milk perhaps? He normally poos after his first milk so could try and time it for that too.

I know a few friends tried ditching the nappies but Xmas has been busy so it's hard to find a clear run of days as I need to stay in. We're out today and NYE, so might try one DH is back at work. Def gonna try this Feb half term if not sorted by then