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Original poster

Would you consider this cheating?

27 replies

clpsmum · 29/12/2018 23:54

Also posted in 30 days only by accident and not sure how to move!!

Friends dh works away. Whilst away made friends with a couple of women and would go out drinking with them and their group of friends, (friend unaware of this). to cut a long story short friends dh was in a drunken brawl with somebody ( to the extent it went to court eventually and friend never got the full story). After the brawl friends dh went back to one of the women's houses and ended up in the bath while she cleaned him up. Friends dh insisting it's not cheating and friend insisting it is. I have my opinion but curious to know what others think??

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ShinyPinkLipgloss · 29/12/2018 23:56

When in doubt, ask yourself what if the roles were reversed?

Who he be comfortable discovering that info about her? Highly doubt it.

ShinyPinkLipgloss · 29/12/2018 23:56

Would * he

highheelsandbobblehats · 29/12/2018 23:59

He was beaten up, so she was clearing him up from his injuries whilst he was in the bath? Presumably to ease said injuries?

I wouldn't call that cheating. Was she literally nursing him? Then he's receiving medical attention. Any other form of attention whilst naked in the bath would be cheating.

highheelsandbobblehats · 30/12/2018 00:01

But then again, there's a whole backstory of variables. Was he naked in the bath? Why? If he was in shorts and was in the water to ease pain, and she was helping him, I'd be okay with that. I'd be unhappy with nakedness, but I'm still not sure if define it as cheating.

SuchAToDo · 30/12/2018 00:02

I don't understand why dh needed to be in a bath with the woman in the bathroom with him cleaning him up...that's inappropriate for a married man...your friend is kidding herself if she believes it's not cheating...it's intimate to be there while someone is sat undressed in a bath, and since she was cleaning him up she will literally have been rubbing his body...it's inappropriate

bbcessex · 30/12/2018 00:17

god knows if it’s cheating, but certainly it’s a bloody mess that i’d never consider a success if myself or my DH were embroiled in..

Bigonesmallone3 · 30/12/2018 00:21

Pop round to a strangers house for a bath and to be cleaned up 🤔

Why couldn't he go to wherever he was staying and clean him self up

I'd be very suspicious

OhLemons · 30/12/2018 00:27

I wouldn't believe the story! At face value not cheating although I wouldn't be happy but I don't think the story is the truth.

Original poster
clpsmum · 30/12/2018 00:27

He was naked in the bath and admitted had the police not turned up to the house for a statement something "might" have happened. She had to wheedle this information out of him as he wasn't forthcoming and denied for a long time. My poor friend was left at home with her children while he was out drinking with other women, I think that would be enough for me to be angry never mind being naked in a bath!

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Original poster
clpsmum · 30/12/2018 00:27

BBC - I agree. Grown men lying, drinking and fighting, no thank you

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Original poster
clpsmum · 30/12/2018 00:28

Big - I agree. Why not go back to wherever he was staying. All sounds very odd to me

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pickleface · 30/12/2018 00:33

I just wouldn't believe the whole bullshit story. I recon he was having one away with this woman and her husband battered him hence having to explain the court case and possible proof of nakedness in another woman's house. But I do have a suspicious mind.

Babysgotyoureyes · 30/12/2018 00:44

It would appear to me that it's quite obvious and the writing is on the wall. First of all: He works away and made friends with a group of women that he goes out drinking with. Then he gets beaten up for no obvious reason that he can explain and finally one of said women brings him home to clean him up in her bath?? I think your friend needs a reality check here. It's fairly likely he has got on the wrong side of somebody's husband/partner.

pickleface · 30/12/2018 00:48

Was it a serious assault? Would his clothes have been taken by police? Or the other man? There has to be a reason he admitted a supposed bath

Drogosnextwife · 30/12/2018 00:51

I think he's lying tbh.

ILoveChristmasLights · 30/12/2018 01:09

How did she find out about the bath anyway?

Original poster
clpsmum · 30/12/2018 01:18

Tbh I'm not entirely sure how she found out about the bath. Well I know that he told her, she wheedled it out of him were her exact words, but I'm not sure how or why she did this if you see what I mean. I'm not entirely sure how the conversation/confrontation started. I will try and find out more info!

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CoughLaughFart · 30/12/2018 01:22

He was naked in the bath and admitted had the police not turned up to the house for a statement something "might" have happened.

So really the bath thing is a misnomer. ‘Something might have happened’ means ‘something definitely happened’.

Popc0rn · 30/12/2018 01:23

I don't think all the small details matter here - in my opinion he lied (or didn't tell her, and so lied by omission) about where he was, who he was with and what he was doing, with apparently no good reason for lying in the first place. That counts as cheating to me. Your poor friend.

HappyBumbleBee · 30/12/2018 01:24

Out drinking with other women while wife is at home with kids, gets beaten up, goes back to woman's place, let's her tend his wounds and admits something "might" have happened has the police not arrived to take his statement.
Cheating in my book. I'd be furious and send him back to said woman with his black sacks packed!

NC4Now · 30/12/2018 01:27

I mean technically it’s not, but it doesn’t bode well. Where are the boundaries in their relationship?

ILoveChristmasLights · 30/12/2018 01:27

It all sounds a bit weird. IF you’re away from home and up to no good, it’s easy enough to keep it quiet as long as the person/people you’re up to no good with know not to plaster it across SM. So I can’t imagine how stupid he must be for her to now know all of this...unless he’s trying to get her to be the one to ‘walk out’ of their marriage.

CardsforKittens · 30/12/2018 01:32

Your friend feels betrayed, and with good reason. I'm not sure it matters whether it technically counts as cheating: the problem can't be resolved by deciding whether it counts as cheating or not.

Original poster
clpsmum · 30/12/2018 08:22

Asked friend how she discovered all of this and her is her reply;

I had an uneasy feeling that he was keeping something from me and not being honest, I'm embarrassed to admit this but I went through his phone. I found messages that weren't exactly incriminating but I wasn't comfortable with them either from those two women in XXXXX. it was generally just chat but one "let's meet up for a drink just as friends lol" another said "can you talk?" To which he's replied "yes you're in luck the wife's just gone to bed" and more of the same. So nothing to say he was charting but it didn't feel right. I also found naked photos of XXXXX on his phone that his friend had sent him.

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Original poster
clpsmum · 30/12/2018 08:23

To clarify last bit, my friend has a friend in the public eye and one of his friends had sent him pictures of her naked

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