To ask you about bigger age gaps.

[Soconfusedbylife]

My eldest is 7 and I’m starting to get broody. So please tell me about how practical a 7-8 year age gap is.

I have 7 and 15 year old .. pro is that we can leave the 7 year old with the 15 year old and go out ( he always sleeps 12 hours ) and the cons are they have nothing in common and dd has grown out of everything ds wants to do so we are essentially 3 adults and a small boy 🤷‍♀️

My DD is 8 and my DS is 17 months. You're right in that it is like starting over again, I've also found that I'm a calmer parent this time. My DD is so helpful so that's lovely. DS still gets a lot of my attention as DD is in school, but it is harder to give DD my full attention so you have to be mindful of that too.

14 years between DSis and me! Advantages include both getting time as the only child at home, resident babysitter, less sibling rivalry. Disadvantages that it's hard to find something for a 17 and 3 year old to do together, jealousy (partly to do with circumstances changing - my parents were struggling students when I was small, but able to pay for private school for DSis), and our relationship is still more like aunt and niece than sisters.

6 years between my DDs. Now ages 8 and 2. Advantages:

• They play together nicely. No snatching or jealousy about toys - although that's changing a bit as DD2 gets older.
• DD1 was at school while I was on maternity leave. This was great. I got plenty of 1:1 time with DD2 during the school day, and time with DD1 as well in the afternoons.
• Still have some things in common, eg like watching Disney films together
• Can use some hand-me-downs
• Don't need to buy duplicates of toys or clothes
• We're forced to treat them as individuals: no making them do same after school clubs or have same packed lunches

Disadvantages:

• We're forced to treat them as individuals: no making them do same after school clubs or have same packed lunches (!)
• Don't have many hand-me-downs from when DD1 was a preschooler, because we didn't know we would have DD2
• Hard to find the "right age" to do things like big holidays
• Trips to theme parks or soft plays involve 1 child being bored. DD2 is starting to love soft play centres, just as DD1 is getting too old!
• Having a sibling was a big change for DD1. I think a toddler would adjust more easily and a teenager would have better understanding, whereas for a 6 year old it was difficult.

My friend has about 24 years between his two dc! His ds was 24/25 when his dd was born. They get on really well and he says he feels like a half dad to her.

My PFB and no2 son were 8 and 12 the year DD was born. Then I had no3 son and no4 son at two and four years later.
It worked out well for us but that said, if it hadn't, what could we have done?
It's just what happened.

This is an interesting read for me right now.

My 2 DC are 14 and 9. They argue at times but generally get on very well.

Im feeling broody and young enough to have one last go

But am I crazy enough? I get to lie in now and everything

My dc are aged 17, 15 and 8 - no big deals (and the younger 2 share a room) They love each other and the elder two love doing little kid things with dc3. Not pretending it's all sunshine and rainbows but about 85% it is.

Hi op I have 2dc. Dd will be 8 in February, ds's birthday is 16 days later and he will be 16. So our gap was 16 days shy of 8 years.

I will be honest, it was easy to start, got a bit harder in the middle and now is getting easier again.
With an 8 year gap it's like being a new parent all over again, "rules" had changed ie when I had ds I could make up multiple bottles at once but when i had dd it was make them up as needed.

I was very lucky that both of my dc slept from the minute we got home from the hospital and I wasn't expecting dd to be the same as ds as I'm aware it's not usual.
That helped massively. As did the fact that ds was at school so I had all day to play with dd and took her to loads of baby groups etc.

The middle years were tough i.e. Dd being 3 and ds being 11. Family days out, where do you go to suit both ages? They both love swimming so that's always been something we've done together.

Ds was desperate for a sibling and really wanted a sister. When she arrived he was jealous for about 2 weeks and he struggled with the change in dynamics.
Now they're both older and there are still some issues/challenges but on the whole it's lovely.
I know ds will look out for dd when she's growing up and they get on really well.

I have 2 brothers. I'm the eldest and there is just 18 months between me and my first brother. My youngest brother arrived when I was 8 and the age gap seemed huge as a child. Now I'm 40 and my brothers are 39 and 32 it's nothing at all.

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you

8 years between me and my sister and 12 vbetween me and my brother. Both half siblings. Didn’t get on (well not that we didn’t get on but we weren’t close) as kids. Get on extremely well now, my sister and I have a fair bit in common and are very close (I’m 35, she’s 27).

I love the seven year age gap between my two. They were never competitive, because they didn't expect to be treated the same. Their needs were different, so I could meet both their needs. For example, I could feed the baby while playing Monopoly with my firstborn and both were happy: if I'd had two big kids then they would have fought over which game to play, and if I'd had two tiny ones they both would have wanted to be in my lap!

We have no trouble finding family outings which appeal to everybody. We seem to like the same things, mostly. When we don't, then we split up. It's nice to do things separately with them sometimes.

BTW they are 19 and 12 now. Dc1 still lives with us. I think the worst part of this age gap will be that dc2 will be devastated when dc1 moves out, as she worships the ground she walks on.

I'm a huge fan of big gaps. 6 years between the boys then four years to a sister. They are now 15-25. They seriously have never argued, nobody needs to as everyone gets their needs met. No insecurity, no jealousy. The fact that they were all able to go to the same school when we moved to Aus did help as they had shared experiences but when I hear of families where the - closer in age - kids bicker all the time and parents can't leave them alone as teens as they would kill each other I am happy with what I have. Obviously all families are different though so I am sure lots of people can share their experiences of having small gaps that worked well 😊

7.5 years between my DTs and the little one. Not intentional as such - started trying when they were about 4 but it took us ages to conceive.

But the big age gap has been wonderful - the twins adore their little brother and have loved watching him grow up and showing him off to their friends. That look of pride on their faces when they got to push the pram on the school run was absolute magic. It helped enormously when he was little to be able to let them help out with small jobs and they adored doing it, particularly my daughter.

One thing I have had to be careful with though is not to let the older ones try and parent him. They do have a habit of bidding him around, especially now they're older. and I do have to remind them occasionally who's in charge. However, this does feel pretty hypocritical when I want to go out occasionally and leave the big ones to babysit as them I do actually expect them to be in charge, so it's a bit two edged sword. Still, it's free babysitters, so I live with it.

We have an 11 year old, an 18 year old and a 26 year old. The only negatives have been in terms of schooling, as in not having a sibling to make getting a place easier, and pregnancy and childbirth, because you forget just how hard it’s is initially. Positives, the two older ones look after the third, giving me a bit more freedom in terms of my career, etc, especially since their dad passed in April. I wouldn’t change it for the world.