Leaving partner for child’s sake?

[fullforce]

Just having a healthy debate with my OH about our parents having partners when we were children and wanted to hear other people’s views. This is probably the best section to post it in so not looking for am I AIBU, just searching for opinions!

From my own experience, I feel that if your child is anywhere up to 16 years old and can voice how they feel about your partner then you should leave the partner if they don’t get on and they’ve really tried everything. I think by choosing the partner over the child it causes irreversible damage to the parent-child relationship and attachment. Especially if at a young age like 5 or 6. I hate the idea of being forced to live with someone you don’t like. It makes my skin crawl! I’ve also seen young children be removed a few times when the mother being given a choice and choosing the partner. I see so many lives tainted and ruined because someone wanted to stay with their partner more than their children. I just can’t understand how adult relationships trump the child’s right to the enjoyment of their own home. I remember it well, as soon as my DM’s boyfriend moved in it was no longer my home but theirs. Has anyone else been the child in this situation? It’s a topic that really interests me so any opinions, agreeing or disagreeing are appreciated!

if the child hates their dad and doesnt want you to live with them anymore. should you put the childs wishes first?

Depends on why, but I think it’s a rare child that truly hates a parent to the extent they’d rather the parents split up.

What I read a lot of are (usually) mothers trying to deal with a disciplinarian father who’s making life miserable for everyone.

Essentially I feel that children don’t have a choice so it’s our job to ensure they have as easy a time of it as we can give them.

If that means leaving a father or mother who is making children unhappy then yes, I do think you should. And it’s therefore even more of a reason not to introduce further step parents.

I was the child in that situation many times over and i agree. I am particularly heartbroken for dd after my divorce becauase of it. I didnt want to repeat the same blended family bullshit i went through. Of course i dont have to do that but im 32, is that it now?