Aibu to snap back at people telling me how shit my life is even though they say it jokingly?

[6timesthemess]

Certain family members are fond of seeing things in my life such as my daughters behaviour problems (she has autism and adhd - we also have other children with adhd) or my dhs stubbornness, or just bad luck we have had and then say things like

“It’s a wonder your not crazy!” Hohoho
Or “I’m off let me out of the madhouse!” Among hundreds of other things. I have tried nicely in the past to tell them that I don’t really like this but they rant on about being sensitive .
Normally I smile and just politely respond but the truth is - I am crazy!

I have been taking fluoxitene for years now- and I am still very depressed I’m not even sure why I bother taking it! I constantly have disturbing intrusive thoughts and so many other things.

I would NEVER tell them this they are the kind of people that “depression didn’t exist when we were young”

So aibu to just snap at them to stop trivialising what are actually big problems and please stop calling my house a madhouse.

Tell them to fuck off!
Look after yourself and ditch people that don't make your life easier

I raised my severely autistic, learning disabled son alone and got the same comments. They were never meant in an insulting way. I laughed with them because I felt the same

I still get asked how I managed to stay sane, I reply with 'I'm not entirely sure I am'

They are being extremely rude.
Telling someone that they are “over sensitive” or saying that they were “just joking” is the first response of a bully.

If you can, I would try not to snap. I’d try to speak calmly and say something like:

“I find those kind of comments extremely rude. I understand you find our life difficult, but it is our life and it hurts me when you make light of it. Don’t do it again”

Yeah man tell em to get to fuck

Look them in the eye and say ‘How lucky you are that someone as fragile as you doesn’t have to cope with my life’?

It must be hard if they're close relatives saying that, but they're clearly idiots and 'did you mean to be so rude' clearly doesn't work, so you either brush it off with a vague 'hmm' whilst thinking dickhead, or confront it with a 'really? We wouldnt have it any other way' but try to see it for what it is...their problem not yours. I have lots of kids and sn in the mix too. It's generally tradespeople in the house that say stuff like that, but if my house suits me then they can think what they like. Tour intrusive thoughts sound worrying have you been back to your go, perhaps you need a change of meds?

How insensitive and rude. I’d be inclined to ask them if they think you deliberately set out to construct a life that is difficult and challenging just so you could be the butt of their entertainment. I agree with pp, it’s bullying.

I’m liking nonagrey and moonstones responses

Moonstoned - I love that response not sure I am brace enough in real life . In real life I am quiet and shy!

Define - no I haven’t been back to my doctor the only reason I had the fluoxetine was because when I get really stressed I randomly scratch at my skin in my sleep and I wake up looking like I’m been mauled by a tiger . I was ill one day and had to go to the doctor with a chest infection and he saw that I had clearly tried to scratch myself to death and practically threw the prescription at me .

That was three years ago and we have moved hosue I’ve never seen the new doctor they just keep renewing the prescription.

I would have no idea what to say if I went back and I have never even met the doctor.

Go see your new doctor. I'm surprised they haven't called you in for a med review before this.

When you speak to your doctor, just tell him/her what you said here. They are trained professionals and you won't tell them anything they haven't heard before.

I know these people are your family, but sometimes you have to distance yourself from people for your own mental health. Put yourself first - if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Solidarity here OP, my 3 are autistic (so am
I) and the comments get really fucking wearing.

I love Moonstoned's suggestion too. Why not use it? They haven't responded to your asking them nicely to knock it off, so by ignoring your wishes in this matter, they waive the right to consideration for their own feelings.

As for the doctor, just go along and tell them what's going on - they may be able to suggest other things you could be doing.

That must hurt OP, especially when you're feeling depressed. You have a lot on your plate. The GP should have followed up - it's normal to try several different ADs for anxiety or depression until you find one that helps you. (I did and the difference between the others and the "right fit" is amazing - I'm now on a low dose of venlafaxine for anxiety and intrusive thoughts, and it makes life so much easier.) Can you find time to see the new GP?

A big and (((hug))) for you.

They are very rude.

In a very misguided way, they are probably trying to show concern/sympathy but it's not helping you. And you need to say that.

Next time, say "if only I could raise the energy to joke about my life too but i'm too busy just trying to get through another day right now".

People can be so rude, OP.

How about "We're obviously quite different, I'd never say something that unkind to somebody." Then tilt your head and look concerned.

Why is your husband's stubborness an issue?

Eliza it’s just that he gets obsessed with things - I posted in relationships asking for advice about it

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3462890-Does-anyone-else-have-a-husband-who-gets-obsessed-with-things

notacold- no never had any follow up when I registered at the new gp the prescriptions juts transferred to there.

Family or no family. Why are they still part of your life. Reading between the lines its not like they do anything to help or support you.

Op don't let these people in your house, family or not, it's no excuse to look down or gloat over hard times in your life...all they are doing is adding to your stress, cut them off and when they ask why, tell them you need a break from all the stress and negativity they add to your life and that it's like a weights been lifted off your shoulders since cutting them off..

Look after yourself, and your dh and kids...screw the rest of them,