Annoyed we won't stay with them

[svenwhen]

We're planning a trip for 2 weeks abroad where we have friends living but as we've young kids we thought it would be easier(and less stress as kids still wake up during night and can be noisy during day) if we stayed in an Airbnb close to them instead. They've taken it badly that we won't stay with them and they kept insisting, I tried to explain its because the kids are still young and noisey but they kept insisting . They're gone off in a huff now and it's just put a whole damper on the holiday. I was really looking forward to visiting them (main reason of holiday) and we would be spending all-day everyday with them but they've taken it as that we don't want to see them!
This has happened before with a family member too where they were really upset that we wouldn't stay with them. But in all honesty it's so nice to be able to visit them stay as long as the kids are happy enough which is usually all day , and then head off to Airbnb or hotel when they get tired. Aibu?

Yanbu. I would've thought they would have been grateful. You're being really thoughtful. Everyone needs a bit of space at points, whether it be friends or family.

I completely agree with you.
I like my own space, especially if staying in someone's home might be crowded or there is only one loo for example.

They're being children. I would want my own space as well, regardless of whether the kids were good sleepers.

Write down the DC typical daily routine esp wake time and any night wake ups so they can see in black and white.

Just saying it generally won't have got through to them!

We stayed in a budget hotel when last visiting the MIL. She has several cats, I'm allergic, and everyone needs some space sometimes. I don't get why people can be so offended by that.

Definitely the right thing. I think staying with friends puts a real strain on the relationship personally, plus it's nice to have some time away from them however nice they are.

Don't fret it. They'll come round I'm sure.

Thanks for all the replies, they have helped me calm down a bit. Whenever anyone ,friend or family visit I always offer but if they say no it's ok , I might say are you sure.. Or if you change your mind there's always space, ..and leave it at that. I'd never go on and on insisting . It's so stressful trying to please everyone. I know when we get there I'll be quizzed how much the Airbnb is costing and there'll be a passive aggressive joke thrown in about wasting money .

You did the right thing for you guys OP, they need to get over themselves.

It's so stressful trying to please everyone

This why you must please yourself. You impose on no-one, put no-one to any expense of time/space/patience. Don't explain your child's requirements you'll be regaled with: Oh, it'll be fine. Then it won't.

Don't discuss your airb'n'b unless they want to pay for it. Which they won't.

Two weeks in someone else’s house even without children is a very long time. Do they have children themselves? Just wondering why they would want to host your family for so long.

No, it's awful feeling you can't get up in the night or deal with things your own way. MIL is like this and get funny if we don't stay with her.

Judging by their reaction, you have done the right thing.

You are doing the right thing The longest I ever spend at friends with dcs is a week and that is a long time and it really isn't relaxing for me at all. We tend to do homeexchanges near friends abroad and that works really well. We have even hosted friends for dinners in our exchange homes and it's been great. The only thing I can think of which would be reasonable-ish is if your friend are from a culture where hospitality is a massive thing. But if they are friends they should be able to understand your cultural differences,too.

YANBU it's always better to have your own space IME. Perhaps they think their home isn't big enough/clean enough/nice enough for you? Or they're from a culture where the neighbors will be shocked if you rent nearby?

Or maybe they were expecting you to share all the housework/cooking/baby sitting etc so they could put their feet up?

My SIL is like this. It is very flattering that she wants to host us but we have to sleep in the lounge on a sofa bed. I can't go to bed until they do but then we have to get up when their children do. YANBU.

God if you were my relative I would bloody love you! I live in Germany and have guests every few weeks.
I like having people to stay but it's hard work. Some people are harder work than others.
Just ignore the daftness, they will get over it. If they don't I would just come out and say "look, I was actually thinking of you. The kids wake up in the night most nights. Are you really going to fall out with me for being considerate? If so tell me now and we will cancel."

You are being realistic and considerate. They are being rather rude to try and insist. They'd be getting a few well chosen words from me if they persist in trying to make you feel uncomfortable about your holiday arrangements.

Did they pay for your flights to come and see them?

Very similar cultures , yes they have young children ,similar ages to our own ! Which is why I just don't get that she doesn't understand that we need a little space to ourselves sometimes. I told her how grateful we were for the offer and she replied Do what you want svenwhen!!!!
Yes with all those exclamation marks .
I don't want to fall out with her over this , but next time we visit I will not be telling her beforehand our accommodation plans .

No they're not paying for our flights