Absolute man flu, when to let them get on with it and when to force them back into real world

[Orangelover]

Right, never posted in here because usually have a chilled out sound relationship and even when things bother be I tend to turn the other cheek and say meh people.

However this Christmas my OH has really driven me mad.

He started with a chesty cold at the start of Dec. I was originally really sympathetic as he's never ill and never causes a scene. We had loads on that weekend but he powered through and I got him paracetamol etc and he was ok.

The chesty cold went on throughout Dec but he still went to work and at last it seemed as if it was finally clearing.

Now OH is not good at rest and recuperation (marathon runner, cyclist, endurance sports). He would not listen to me when I said just chill out in the warm and relax. Oh no. Had to go on a 4 hour bike ride in the freezing rain the weekend before Christmas and ending up back to square one that night (feverish, cold, cough etc)

Christmas Eve we had plans with my parents for food and the pub, had to cancel all that. Christmas Day I was working the afternoon but we had the morning together then he went to his parents for the festivities about an hour or so away. He comes back on the 27th still full of cold and moaning.

When he's ill he's insufferable. Wants to be left alone, is generally an arsey miserable shit.

By today I'd had enough, I'd made plans for today ages ago with some friends i don't see often and had won some free drinks in town and having worked the whole of Christmas I was really looking forward to it. Other friends bringing their boyfriends too.

Well. He threw such a paddy about going! Said he wasn't well enough, made me feel guilty, said my friends were boring. He's never like this! I wouldn't have normally made him go if he was ill but he went for a 5k fun this am so I said if he was well enough for that he could bloody well socialise on the one day I have made a small plan for some drinks with my friends.

And then to add to it, says he needs a day to himself tomorrow and wants to go to the countryside for some fresh air/walking.. so if he's well enough for exercise/day out why can he not manage a few drinks with my friends?!

This is so out of character. Anyone else's OH turn into an absolute beast when they're got a bloody cold? Text his mum and she says his dad is just the same....

So AIBU for making him go out when he's obviously dying....?

Let him get on with it
Go out with your friends and enjoy yourself and let him wallow in self pity.

Don't give up what your plans are.
If he's well enough to go running then I'd be pissed off aswel but don't let it ruin your fun

Leave the miser at home.
Go on your own.

Is he wearing the dressing gown of doom?
and doing the sick man shuffle?

He isn’t ill if he’s out running.

Go without him.

thanks miggeldy Just snorted wine through my nose at “dressing gown of doom”

He actually doesn't have a dressing gown but if he did it would be on. It's more joggers of doom.

He seems to have this attitude if I can keep going and going (works hard and v long hours and loads of sport on top of that) but when he stops he gets ill because he's so worn out. But then won't take necessary steps to rest up and get well. So irritating!!

Dressing gown of doom 😂😂😂😂

Is he sticking out his tongue when coughing and as a weird sounding voice? Just ignore and get on with what you want to do, let him wallow in his cold.

What a twat. If he can run a 5k, he’s not ill.

Go by yourself and ignore him.

Go by yourself! Why does he have to come?

Let him snivel at home!

I must admit - i didn't come up with the phrase "dressing gown of doom" myself.
its a thing here on MN.
as is the sick man shuffle.

the joggers of doom must surely be a thing too.

Unfortunately semi guilt tripped him into going and now I'm getting the huff because he didn't enjoy the evening due to his dreadful illness.

Well I had a lovely time despite him on tap water with sulky face on. And he drove

Good job he doesn't get ill often. It might not help that I'm a nurse - the least sympathetic person when family/friends have a minor illness.

What do you mean by ' he threw a paddy '?

Just remembered, would he also suddenly develop what i call the “pathetic poorly phone voice” if he has to call in to work.

My DD (48 years 0ld) has never, in those years, had a cold that.lasted over two days (lucky her). I'm those years, she has had antibiotics exactly twice. This year, she got a "cold" the week before xmas. She took a whole (!) Day off!! I was gobsmacked. Over Xmas she just got worse and worse. After much emotional blackmail on my part, she went to the doctors on the 27th. She was told she'd almost certainly had flu, and now she had bronchitis. She was given antibiotic s and an inhaler and has been proper poorly.

Meantime, her uncle and I (I have an immune suppressed illness), are so bloody ill it's unreal.

The moral of my ramblings is that people (people like your husband and my daughter) can still get really ill. The difference is, cos I'm used to knowing when I can and cannot control my symptoms, I know exactly when I need a medical intervention. My DD, being so rarely ill didn't.

So, maybe, cut him some slack? Not something I'd ever thought I'd say on this forum