To think this was mean and I am not sure how much more slack I can give

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Do is quite ill at the moment. He is having a major flare of a chronic condition. I have been providing shed loads of care and support along with running the home, looking after kids and working part time.
The main problem is that he is really bad tempered. He will scream for help with getting dressed etc. Often I barely get a thank you.
Whilst I was entertaining our guests he called out and I didn’t hear. He had a strop in front of our guests.
We live in a Town House. Our bedroom is on the middle floor. We have a spare room On the top floor with hobby stuff in it. Most days he either stays in bedroom or goes into hobby room. He did come down on Christmas Day for a while and did eat with our guests. The following day he went upstairs and played with dd3 whilst I was out with our guests.
Today he told me that the bit of Christmas he enjoyed was when I was out. I just feel so hurt but maybe I am being over sensitive
Ainu to call him up on this. I feel I have been cutting him slack as being in pain is horrible.

He was spiteful. Arthritis is agony and depressing but it doesn't make you cruel.

Maybe leaving him for a day out shopping to imagine a 2019 without you waiting on him hand and foot might do him some good. Don't explain, don't complain. Just go.

YANBU. I have widespread arthritis, which absolutely can be agonisingly painful and the relentless pain does get you down. It doesn't mean that you have an excuse to be horrible to the person trying to help you.

As far as you not hearing him shout, well surely he could have sent you a text or phoned you if he needed you that badly?

He's lucky to have you there to help him, many people have nobody.

I think mh issues can surface with long term illness, he shouldn't take it out on you, but it's easily done.
He needs to get some help with managing the pain. maybe counselling too. This is essential if he doesn't want to lose those he loves.
I do sympathise though as have a dh who also struggles with a lti

YANBU.
Yes he is in pain and chronic conditions are a pain in the arse. I know I have one too.
But then. I would never have talked to anyone like that.
Nor wouod have I expected my H to look after me the way your DH he does. If he was able to go down the stairs, then he could have done so wo the anger and the shouting. And wo the sulking afterwards (the refusing food for an hour was atvtye very least sulking, if not emotionally abusive in that the aim was to make feel very uncomfortable in front of the guests - guests HE choose to invite knowing he was leaving you with all the work AND for you to look after him too....)

A twat with a chronic condition is still a twat. Are you sure you see yourself with him in future? He sounds positively and chronically awful.

Well he has been perfectly pleasant since Christmas. However today he came down to play a game on PC just as I was going to work and went upstairs just as a I got back. This is no life.

So he is intentionally cruel and is deliberately avoiding being in the same place as you. He is willing to be nice to guest that he wanted you to host but views you as a slave to be derided.

What do you get out of this relationship?