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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's the norm to buy for kids rather than the adults if can't afford it?

28 replies

MRSMARMITE3 · 28/12/2018 18:06

Doing a late Christmas present swop. It's a bit a awkward.We've bought toys for brother in law's kids and our small child got a selection box. Which is fine if that's all they can afford. But they've bought my husband a Lego set. My little boys asked why everyone got toys but him and I've said "ooh but you get 6 bars on your selection box". Last year DH got a Lego set and DS got a packet sweets. I dunno I find it a bit odd

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 28/12/2018 18:45

Yes it's a bit bizarre. We also do presents for kids rather than adults

toomuchtooold · 28/12/2018 18:49

What have you/they done in previous years? We only buy for BIL's kids and vice versa but we never spent Christmas together until we all had kids so there was no move from adult presents to child presents, we just started buying presents for the kids. Before we had kids, as a close family member of DH's, you'd have been lucky to get a phone call to say happy Christmas Grin

Sitranced · 28/12/2018 18:50

But why should kids get all the gifts?

Original poster
MRSMARMITE3 · 28/12/2018 18:52

We always bought for both ( they had kids before us) and I've said before about just buying for kids but DH wants to buy his brother a present which is fine. I dunno. I think personally as a parent I'd rather my child get a gift?

OP posts:
Silkei · 28/12/2018 18:52

The Lego set is obviously a gift for your child. Who would give Lego to an adult?!!

Original poster
MRSMARMITE3 · 28/12/2018 18:53

And I'm not saying the kids should get all the gifts, I just find it odd buying the adult a big present and the child a packet of sweets.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 28/12/2018 18:54

I agree with you. Maybe agree no gifts for next year (or suggest just to buy for kids).

Original poster
MRSMARMITE3 · 28/12/2018 18:54

My DH loves lego as do both his brothers. It's definitely his present as they gave him it specifically.

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 28/12/2018 18:55

I think because kids are always growing and changing there are better presents to buy them. I've got too many adults who "don't need anything" which is a struggle.

Sitranced · 28/12/2018 18:55

A packet of sweets or a selection box is still a gift.

ExplodedPeach · 28/12/2018 18:57

Dunno really. We probably spend more on our siblings than their kids because their kids get loads of toys and their favourite gifts aren't necessarily expensive things. Whereas the adults tend to get fewer gifts or don't treat themselves and we want them to have something nice.

That said, if I was buying a Lego set I'd probably give it to the child and assume the parent would play with it too if they wanted..

toomuchtooold · 28/12/2018 18:58

Yeah I think it makes sense to prioritise the kids because they don't have their own money. With adults, if SIL and I (say) don't spend 30 quid getting each other stuff we can just use that money to buy things for ourselves that we know we like.

Silkei · 28/12/2018 19:00

My DH loves lego as do both his brothers

Seriously? It’s a child’s toy Hmm

AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe · 28/12/2018 19:05

@Silkei you must have a small social and work circle. I know a few adults who like building Lego models.

frogsbreath · 28/12/2018 19:07

I'm with you. We buy more for the children in our family than the adults. If we couldn't afford both we would only buy for the children.

Elliemayclampett · 28/12/2018 19:08

Some Lego sets are hugely complex enormous things which cost hundreds of pounds. Definitely not just a child’s toy.

GabrielKnight · 28/12/2018 20:10

My DPs family do this, children all get selection boxes, adults get proper gifts. It's because children's tastes always change n they often get alot from their own parents. Also Lego is definitely a adult toy too! I receivedved the 6000 piece Hogwarts for Xmas. 20 hours in and I'm still not done! Quite a substantial build, my kids won't be getting their hands on it!

Notso · 28/12/2018 20:25

A selection box was always a valid gift when I was a child but I suppose it was seen as more of a luxury then.
I don't think it's a given that people buy for children, it's usually a family decision. Presumably the selection box isn't your child's only gift.

NewPapaGuinea · 28/12/2018 20:58

Whoever says Lego is a child‘s toy is wrong. The age range goes up to 99 and the architecture range is purposely designed for adults.

RhiWrites · 28/12/2018 21:02

How young is the child? If he’s only small (two to four maybe) perhaps they feel the gift of sweets is a good present?

Original poster
MRSMARMITE3 · 28/12/2018 21:18

He's 6. Yeah Lego seems to have a grown up niche. I know lots of adults that have expensive/complicated sets as display pieces up high.

OP posts:
RhiWrites · 28/12/2018 21:33

Hmm, well they’ve set the scene. Selection boxes for their kids next year and see what happens?

Stompythedinosaur · 28/12/2018 22:01

I have no problem with adults getting Lego, but I do think it's odd to get a toy for an adult when the child doesn't have one. I assume this don't the first year, so they knew their dc would be getting a proper present? It seems a bit mean really.

Original poster
MRSMARMITE3 · 28/12/2018 23:14

Meh the plot thickens. The other brothers kids got jewellery and crafty stuff. I think cos we live away our son gets forgotten about.

OP posts:
5foot5 · 28/12/2018 23:38

The Lego set is obviously a gift for your child. Who would give Lego to an adult?!!

@Silkei Yawn. Oh here we go. Another of these boring bastards who make stupid judgements about what is "grown up" and what isn't. I always assume people like you are either still very young or a bit insecure so cling to your ideas of what is "allowed" for adults.

There are loads of adults who enjoy Lego and lots of Lego that is definitely too complicated for most children.

As it happens DH bought me a HUGE Lego set of Tower Bridge for Christmas. The age recommendation is 16+, i.e. not really aimed at children. It has over 4000 pieces and I have spent the last two days on it and have lots still to do ad am enjoying it enormously.

BTW I am 56.

PS Bet you are also the sort of person who looks down on RC toys, Lamping, model railways.....