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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to change plans last minute, does it make me a meany

10 replies

missesschmisses · 28/12/2018 18:05

We have had quite a busy Xmas, travelling two hours Xmas eve to PILS, two hours to DPs on Boxing Day, and travelled home yesterday afternoon. We have a 15MO who is learning to walk and wants to be down all the time, playing with toys or pushing walker about. He didn't sleep well at either of the stops over Xmas, and so neither did I.

We have a day out planned tomorrow just the three of us that my DH planned before Xmas. It's again a two hour ish drive. Before Xmas I thought it was a nice idea, but not it's here I think DS would much rather be at home crawling about and playing with his new toys. He hates his pram, it's a real battle to get him to sit in it, and also is at such an awkward age when eating out it's more hassle than it's worth. We went out for quite a posh meal on Xmas eve and i was stood holding him for the majority of it as he wouldn't go in high chair or be held by anyone else, and cried whenever I sat down.

We are going out for a day out on New Year's Day with family, and a few days later we are all travelling to in laws again as it's mine and DHs anniversary; they have kindly offered to babysit so we can have a day out in the town we used to live in before ds was born.

AIBU to say I just want to have a few days at home over Xmas, and not to go tomorrow? DH thinks I am being v unreasonable, he is a keen photographer wants to get some pics and enjoy family time. Thinks I'm being a wimp and playing it safe all the time, I used to be so adventurous and love going out to new places but since DS came along that's changed and changed me for the worse blah blah blah

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 28/12/2018 18:11

You've got someone else now to think about, cater to and look after apart from the two of you. Just wait til the time comes when you want to go on holiday! All that equipment, nappies, toys, bedding..... Shock

missesschmisses · 28/12/2018 18:13

... this is another thing we bicker about! We both used to love to travel, DH still does, but I find it such hard work i would rather pause until DS is older. Poor little thing has been all over the place in his first year of life, I'm not doing it this year!

OP posts:
WWWWicked · 28/12/2018 18:15

he is a keen photographer wants to get some pics

Great, he can take DS for the day and have some father/son bonding time with plenty of pics! And you get a lovely day to yourself to relax.

Though I rather suspect his plans were more along the line of - you look after DS whilst he indulges his hobby.

Finfintytint · 28/12/2018 18:18

Have a break. You don't need to be charging about. DH can take him if he really wants to go.

Orangeyouglad · 28/12/2018 18:19

Send your husband off with your son to have his photos and you can relax and potter about at home. If you offer this as a alternative your husband is going to agree with the whole family staying at home

Gth1234 · 28/12/2018 18:21

unless you have already paid for stuff, there's no need to do stuff you don't want to do. you'll be much better having a rest.

Singlenotsingle · 28/12/2018 18:39

Babies and small dc don't want to travel anyway. They need to know where they are, where they're going, the same friends, toys, and they need routine Shock

Clutterbugsmum · 28/12/2018 19:01

So his idea of 'family time' is you running around like a bluearsed fly looking after YOUR child while he continues like he did before you had your child.

If I was to agree to go on this 'family time' day out then I would spell it out to him that this means he WILL NOT be taking any photo's other then quick snaps on his phone as HE WILL be looking after DS as well as you.

thefinn · 28/12/2018 19:21

Oh i feel you. no easy answer but surely something has to give as you're all knackered.

Sweetpea55 · 28/12/2018 21:30

Sounds like an incredibly boring day for ds. watching his daddy take pics... Yawn

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