Should my ex but DS a new coat.

[JKCR2017]

Not usually one to expect my ex to but DS anything. He pays maintenance for him but..

A month ago DS went out with his dad and visited his nana. He left his favourite coat there (he has autism and is particularly fussy about coats). I bugged my ex to go pick it up as we use it at the weekends (has a different one for school).

After a month, I finally got it back this week and it absolutely stank. My ex’s mom has never been the cleanest her house always smelt musty and they smoke in the house... it made me urge. Even DS’s hair and clothes smell after being there for a short while. I washed it with some Zoflora but it still smelt and I’ve washed it 4 times since and aired but it still smells. Don’t want to put my son in a smelly coat so I will get rid.

Aibu to think my ex (or his mum) should take him out to buy a new coat??

It’s a mix of musty, damp, smoke and just generally smelly lol. I dread to think how everything else must stink in the house 🤮

Also, DS was given new clothes for Christmas from them. All with tags on but all had to be washed first as they stank!

Yes I think they should, but from your post it doesn’t sound as though he would!

I highly doubt it still smells after washing it 5x

It’s your imagination that the smell is still there

If it smells after washing it so much surely there's an issue with your washing machine?

I think musty smells are really hard to get out with just washing. Have you tried hanging it outside for a couple of days?

Telling your ex his mothers house stinks is only going to cause a row, I do not believe it smells so bad clothes pick up the smell.

I think you need to worry more about your washing machine than the coat

I would ask someone else to smell it, I frequently wash and wash something as I'm sure it has a smell so I get my husband to smell it for me. For example, my daughter was sick in a duvet cover and I was convinced it still smelled but it was only because I knew she'd been sick on it.

Some angels really permeate the fibres and then soap doesn't touch them. Give it a good soak in vinegar or spray it with cheap vodka - you've nothing to lose if you're going to chuck it anyway.

Vinegar and baking soda and then another wash.
He should pay for a new coat but do you think he will? And is it worth the drama? I'm not saying your ex will cause drama, but speaking from experience, mine definitely would!

Put a capful of white vinegar in with the washing. It won’t smell anymore.

Supermarkets do dry cleaning for a few quid, seems silly to get rid of a coat your child is attached to as you believe it still smells after several washes. Was your ex meant to clean his mothers house top to bottom prior to storing the coat there? If you must ask him to pay for the clean, but in reality I imagine it will cause more problems than it’s worth.

*Northernparent68

Telling your ex his mothers house stinks is only going to cause a row, I do not believe it smells so bad clothes pick up the smell.*

I used to have to rewash everything when DD came home from her dad's as it stank of smoke (although he DEFINITELY didn't smoke when she was there )

I also knew when he had left her at his mum's overnight (against court order) as her pyjamas smelt of her grandmother's house.

Obviously been there and done that OP but don't have any real help as the damage is already done...

Second the suggestion of getting someone else (who doesn't know the back story) to have a sniff tho'

CAN you buy another identical favourite jacket (i.e. are they still available?) If so, get one and keep the stenchy one for dad visiting, and the new fresh one for home?

I wasn’t going to say that his mothers house smells. I wasn’t going to say that it smelt of smoke - which it does. I can remember it being particularly smelly when I was with him... they wanted me to have a car seat that belonged to their oldest grandchild that had been stored there for a few years. I refused knowing it would smell and apparently I was ungrateful for refusing a smelly second hand car seat 🤷‍♀️

But I’ll proably just buy a new coat myself to save the hassle.

The worst thing was I kept asking if he could pick it up (he lives nearby) and it took him a month to do so! I was worried one of her other grandchildren had took it by accident. It was fairly expensive too.

It definitely still smells. It smells better but still there. I’m unsure why.. I will try airing it for a few days. I will try vinegar etc. I am pretty good at laundry generally. I’m obsessed with the smell of fresh laundry and it definitely does smell.

I’ve also had the issue with smoke with his dad. I’m a non smoker but his dad used to smoke in his tiny little house when DS wasn’t there (outside when he was there) but DS still used to come home stinking of it - even his hair, bag etc. I would put him straight in the bath and wash everything, bag and toys included. Smoke lingers on everything - carpets, curtains, soft furnishings etc..

Thanks all!