Very disappointing Fortnum and Mason Hamper

[queseraseratoo]

Fortnum and Mason Hampers are overpriced and very mediocre. They also substitute items for inferior ones and then safe in the knowledge that the hamper was a present (who would buy one for themselves?) they refuse to do anything about it unless they can contact the purchaser! Avoid

Darling, you must have been very unlucky. We buy one for our butler every Christmas and he has always been delighted with it, so much so that we bought them for all of the staff this Xmas.

nearly 30 years ago when me and DH were seriously hard up - the person I worked for at the time sent me an F&M hamper for Christmas - I nearly cried - I'd rather have had an extra £50 in my wages to help buy proper Christmas stuff rather than the twatty stuff in the hamper - I think I pretty much gave it all away

On the recent "AIBU to exchange the work gift hamper" thread I mentioned some of the contents of the hampers my mum is given each year and which food banks have turned down so end up doing the rounds in the local charity raffles, in a perpetual cycle of re-gifting... a poster here said they sounded shit and, yes, they were F and M. But hampers are all pretty shit and really wasteful.

@brizzledrizzle I am shagging your butler and we go at the contents of the hamper in bed

Crap, had no idea we could have sold our empty one for £100. Instead, we shoved it in the conservatory and stored old dvds in it.

I’m shagging Brizzledrizzle’s boot boy, he can do amazing things with Gentlemens’ Relish.

@ryderwhiteswan I am shagging your butler and we go at the contents of the hamper in bed

So that's what the short lived noises were last night, we were starting to think that there must be some mice in there. Did you notice the tally on the bedpost?

We love ours, it's the start of Christmas when it arrives from a relative.

l was at my best friend's house a couple of weeks before Christmas when a delivery man arrived with a very large box, emblazoned with the F&M logo.
lt was for next door, who weren't in. We were both quite disappointed, thought it was a Christmas present arriving. So we had to go to Tesco instead.

Wotsits, peanut butter and Jaffa cakes That sounds like a perfect hamper to me.

Bold fail

Sorry not to jump on your horse, but mine is gorgeous. I don’t care if the jam is 23 times the price jam should be, when it’s delivered in a straw filled hamper it tastes absolutely yummy!

Well now I am wondering if Brizzledrizzle 's butler is just pretending to be gay (as per AllTakenSoRubbishUsername 's post) so as to be able to shag with ryderwhiteswan whilst emptying the hamper

NB emptying the hamper is NOT a euphemism.

They will need to speak to the purchaser if you have a problem, as would any retailer. They have no contract with you. Contact whoever gave you the hamper and I'm sure it'll be easily sorted.

That’s really off requiring the purchaser to be contacted. Never had an issue before with recipient contacting supplier and supplier dealing direct with recipient. Typically for flower deliveries

I disagree that ALL hampers are shite value for money. I live near a posh northern market town, and from the market square I could chuck an artisan bread roll at several delis that do gorgeous hampers for the exact cost of the items within it. And not a penny more!

Maybe it’s a northern thing.

I can't comment on the contents but some of the larger hampers are made near me and they are proper craftsman made baskets which are quite expensive to buy on their own. So I doubt the contents are good value but the hamper is worth something.

Well now I am wondering if Brizzledrizzle 's butler is just pretending to be gay

Possibly, he does seem to be rather fond of his tent.

Being truly sad (and rather bored) I've been pricing up the contents. Frankly it depends on the T&C's of the overnight stay. If it's the best room and they're allowed the most expensive bottle in the wine list, that's £600 without starting on the rest.

This part of the hamper would of course come in handy for @brizzledrizzle 's staff and all the various mnetters who appear to be engaged in rumpy pumpy with them.... @YoThePussy and @RyderWhiteSwan ...

On a side note, I was in F & M last weekend. They were selling a shower cap with plastic ladybirds stick on it like a child may do and asking £45. I nearly laughed out loud.