To get annoyed at Christmas day guest using sofa as table?

[Pinkwoman]

I didn't say anything. Delicate situation as it is and he was already sulking about something else so I didn't want to escalate things.

But, rather than sit on the comfy corner bit of the (18-month-old) sofa he sat awkwardly on the small awkward chair next to it and used the sofa instead to put his tobacco, papers, assorted other stuff and his plate and knife on top which had been used for cheese and biscuits. I moved this to the table but it appeared again.

Is this an OK thing to do or am I right in thinking it's a bit gross and not really good guest behaviour?

Shannon, that's unbelievably contemptuous!

My lunch plate and coffee cup are on my sofa next to me right now. I don’t get the issue really.

cardibach The issue is would you do that at my house when there's a table in front of you?

Can't say this would annoy me - the bottom of the plate won't be dirty and tobacco can be brushed off/hoovered up.

YANBU

It's irritating when people don't respect you and your things in the way you do. Really irritating.

We have a pale leather suite. When we bought it, we were told denim can stain pale leather, so we always keep throws on the seats. We had no idea the leather could stain.

It wasn't very good manners on his part, but perhaps you could have given him a tray to put all his bits & bobs on? As in, bring tray into sitting room, hand it to him and say "would you mind putting all your stuff on this instead of directly on the sofa?"

Who is this horrible man? Do you have to have him in your house again?

DH has a propensity to ignore table surfaces, preferring to put things on the seat of chairs. Baffling.

Can you articulate why it was so difficult to ask him to not put stuff on your sofa?

Maybe he just didn't think, it's the kind of thing I would do at home (it's an old sofa, kids climb all over it and sometimes spill so I'm not too worried about it). I wouldn't do it in someone else's house though. I think moving it was fine he should have got the hint unless he was being deliberately awkward.

Hollow, no, it will be difficult to manage the refusal to have him but I think it has to be done. Sorry to be vague, really can't give detail, but the more I've thought about the earlier incident which led to the sulking the more cross I am with him for being unreasonable, and suspicious that he was gaslighting too.

Lonicera, I've tried to address this up thread