To sit in lounge while guests are in kitchen - rude?

[Amore22]

Not a massive problem but just canvassing opinion. Have pil to stay over Christmas and it has gone rather well - phew! But after several years now, am pleasing myself a bit more now and have come into the lounge this morning at 7am to have a quiet coffee and mumsnet! Feel slightly rude but need this time to be by myself. Husband and fil and dc still asleep so I figure I could still he asleep! But mil in kitchen eating breakfast alone. Writing that iabu! Right, better get in there! Thanks if you have read this far.

I don't think it's rude if they're guests that are visiting for several days. Everyone needs their own space from time to time.

You never know she might have been enjoying the peace and quiet too.

Thanks for replies. It does make me much more cheerful for the rest of the day!! I am not good at chatting at 6.30! Getting better at boundaries now.

I think it depends on whether you see them as guests or as family. I’m an early-to-bed person and when visiting in-laws in the early days i’d stay up late with them to be polite. After a few years of them telling me to just help myself to snacks and cuppas - “don’t wait to be asked, you’re family now “- I just went to bed at my normal time and left them to it.
If you view them as family I think you can be more relaxed than you would if they were guests.

Yes, good point about family v guests. After 17 years they are family but think I am still in between in my head if you see what I mean.

How do others handle boundary stuff and personal space when have visitors?

No, if it’s family, or friends or been there longer than 2 days/ one night, then you do as you want in terms of sitting quietly for your coffee first thing!

Guests who have been here before, I tend to write a note if they aren’t awake before I go to sort animals, telling them what breakfast options are and to help themselves! Which is probably mumsnet height of hostess failure.

Sounds good to me llanali!

People can join you in the lounge if they want to. No problem at all.

I think it depends how often you have guests stay, or how well you know them, and your lifestyle.

We have lots of overnight guests as we live very rurally but not far off a main north south route.

I don’t really entertain people as such, and family / old friends, we just continue life but with added fun and conversation of course. We live on a smallholding, so I’d think nothing of going out to the yards whilst guests are still asleep, and if I thought they wouldn’t automatically do it I’d ask them to let the dogs out or whatever. We are pretty laid back, I wouldn’t be bothered to wake up to find guests half way through breakfast or helping themselves...

I’ve had guests last night, that are old friends, I’ve just come in from the yard and the husband has taken a handful of the dogs for a walk. It’s fine :)

So for us, it’s being relaxed, laid back, and welcoming, whilst expecting guests to be reasonably self sufficient.

Only problem is we only have one working bathroom- so that can be awkward!!

Not rude at all. You've been hosting them for several days. MIL is probably enjoying her own peace and quiet too.

God no, we all need our space. I don't think there's any requirement for you to entertain guests every waking moment. Enjoy your peace.

Goodness no it’s not rude. 6.30 am is not the time for small talk! You’d be lucky if you got more than a grunt from me at that time.

Not rude at all!

Not rude at all, we used to do a lot of hosting (lived in a lovely ‘tourist’ type location) and would be more than happy for guests to do their own thing and I would also take myself off for peace and quiet as needed.

Funny that we don’t get so many visitors now we live in a bog standard town .

Llanali, a visit to your house sounds blissful!!

Love mumsnet! Feel vindicated now. 😀😀

@Takingtheleap only if you don’t mind sharing kitchen space with four dogs, wearing wellies to cross the garden and making your own coffee

You’re also likely to be roped into feeding something, exercising something or minding something!!

@Llanali Sounds fabulous. What on earth is a kitchen for other than sharing with animals? (Barrows eyes at cats leaping on table despite knowing they shouldn't).

*Narrows!