To think my brother is rushing in AGAIN?!

[BunsyGirl]

DB has form for rushing into relationships. He met, moved in and started a family with his STB ex-wife within 12 months. His close family members (including me) could see that she was trouble. We kept our mouths shut as much as we could but it was difficult as our DM (who was terminally ill at the time) was being pushed out of his and DGC’s life by his wife. She subsequently cheated on him with several people and they eventually broke up about 12 months ago. Since then he has bought a new house (after she took 50 per cent of the old one despite paying nothing into it) and a new car (as she got the family car even though he bought it with an inheritance he got from our DM). I was really happy that he had made a fresh start. However, he has begun to see someone new and she is constantly putting posts on social media that they are going to be moving in and be one big happy family together (she has two DC’s and so does he). However, this talk of moving in is before their DC’s have been introduced to each other or even to their parent’s new partner. This seems crazy, particularly in the case of my nieces who have had their life turned upside down once already this year and, in my opinion, need a period of stability. Should I raise my concerns with him, or keep my mouth shut?

if you are close to him tou could question him about it. His exw doesn't sound very nics but I think your comments about her getting half the house and half the value of the car are silly. They were married and had two children of course half of the assets were hers!

Perhaps you could frame your conversation with him as a discussion about how to protect his current assets for his children? if you are not close though this coukd backfire so think very careful about wording.

No, she didn’t get half the car. She got the whole car! I don’t think my comments about money are silly. The point I am trying to make is that he is foolish when it comes to women and money. When my brother met his STB ex wife, he had a house with lots of equity in it but she had nothing despite being almost ten years older than him. So no, I don’t think she deserved half of the house, never mind the car. The new woman also doesn’t own her own house. There is a part of me that thinks it’s his own silly fault if it happens again...but my DM asked us to look after each other shortly before she died so I feel some responsibility. My main concern, however, are his children.

So no, I don’t think she deserved half of the house
She did though

But yeah I do get you OP, it sounds lunacy on both their parts and they have no consideration for their children.

I am amazed you know so much about his finances given it is nothing to do with you. Do you think his DC would be better of homeless, and with no car?

Keep out.

She really did deserve half the house. She married him and had his children who she now presumably has joint care of. I would have a word with my brother about protecting his assets and taking his relationahip slowly for the sake of his children. My brother and I have a relationship where I feel I could say this. He probably won't listen but at least then you will feel you have done something.

He is an adult and needs to make his own choices and mistakes.
Don’t get involved just be there for him emotionally if needed.

His ex likely provided support in other ways such as looking after their children so of course the assets became joint in marriage and in the kindest way, you never know what goes on behind closed doors.