To not be able to cope with this anymore

[TooMuch18]

Name changed for this.

I am going to have to cut off a friend. Their behaviour has deteriorated over the last few years due to a relationship going wrong and a resulting divorce.

Even before this occurred they were more interested in themselves than me. Now though it is non stop the same stuff every time I see them or interact with them text / phone.

She doesn't go 10 minutes without bringing up the same old crap.

This has been going on for 5 years now. Crisis after crisis after crisis, much of which is self created.

They never ask how I am. Never ask me anything about myself, it's just a sound track of the same old crap for years and I am so bored of it.

I've got the impression they've lost other friends over this.

Other than cut someone off, what can you do. I just feel really shit after a whole Christmas of being used as a sounding board for problems again.

Cut off the negative baggage and look forward to a better and positive year!

This is so difficult OP. It is much harder to dump a friend than to dump a partner. With a partner you can say you’ve met someone else, it’s not working out, you don’t love them anymore or it’s not them it’s you, but it’s hard to make these as relevant to a friendship. Are you going to tell her or just ghost her? Are you ready to cope with the guilt you’ll feel about the effect your actions will have on her? Is the friendship beyond being salvageable? Consider all these questions and tread carefully. I can’t saw I blame you though from what you’ve said.

You could try some really strict boundaries for a few months and see if that helps?

We've fought over it. I have actually raised my voice and said that I don't want to discuss it anymore as I've had enough.

It is not well received and I'm being heartless.

Tbh maybe it will come as no surprise.

@Flower777

Been tried. It takes maximum 3-4 texts before the conversation is steered to their problems.

I have said to their face: no more I'm not talking about it. They say yeah but and keep talking.

Sadly i think you need to cut off but i think ghosting is cruel so I would write a text/email/letter explaoning why you will no longer be cobtacting them. At this point your friend does have the choice to apologise and try and save the friendship, they probably won't but perhaps it will help them to reflect and at least you can have a clear conscience that you haven't taken the coward's way out.

5 years? You're a saint.
If you have literally told them to their face "no more" and they keep doing it well then, they are not taking it on board. If it was 5 weeks or even 5 months I'd probably feel more sympathetic and think they were just trying to get over being divorced but 5 years, come on, get over it.

It wasn't too bad 5 years ago as the divorce hadn't happened. I still socialised with her and husband and the kids. She was ok when she was with him as she couldn't get away with it in front of him.

Now the divorce is finalised and she's still talking about what could have been a year later I'm so bored of it.