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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is my FIL?

22 replies

Pachyderm1 · 27/12/2018 20:15

Spending the Christmas period with my in laws, who are lovely people I enjoy spending time with. However, one of their favourite traditions is boardgames, of which they have a large collection.

I love boardgames and have no problem playing them, but I am getting seriously hacked off with my FIL who, despite being a man in his fifties, is absolutely unable to cope with losing. If he isn’t winning a game he starts moaning about how the game is stupid or boring. And if he gets really bad he starts deliberately ruining it (I.e. calling out the answers on other people’s turn, messing with the board etc). Often we’ll just abandon the game and play something he prefers to stop him messing about.

The thing that most pisses me off is nobody calls him out on this. My DH will roll his eyes and gently chastise him but that’s it. Mostly people just say ‘oh, typical FIL’ and humour him. It maddens me! AIBU or is this absurd for a grown man and should we not be telling him if he won’t behave like an adult, he’ll be excluded like a naughty child?!

OP posts:
Foslady · 27/12/2018 20:24

I’d refuse to play and say why - no point spending time knowing it’s going to end in tears

toucan12 · 27/12/2018 20:34

YANBU - sounds very irritating!

paintinmyhairAgain · 27/12/2018 20:41

so typical, people making excuses for bad behaviour, he needs telling in a nice way he's being silly and childish and then there's the paint method ' do you have to act like a total knob ?' [as used when 'nice' doesn't work].

XmasPostmanBos · 27/12/2018 20:43

Fil just for having a big collection of board games tbh

FascinatingCarrot · 27/12/2018 20:43

This is the worst AIBU I have ever ever seen.
You won that anyway.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/12/2018 20:50

I would refuse to play any games with him. There's nothing worse than a sore loser. FFS, my children didn't act like that when they were 5 years old. How grossly unattractive.

ThePinkOcelot · 27/12/2018 20:53

I would just refuse to play any board game with him ever again. What an arse!!

brizzledrizzle · 27/12/2018 20:54

How long before somebody suggests dementia?
YANBU.

Merryoldgoat · 27/12/2018 20:55

My DH and I play a LOT of board games and are highly competitive and would NEVER behave like that. Your FIL is behaving like a dick. He’s not competitive - he’s behaving like a child.

Say why you’re not playing. Every single time. He’s ruining it and it’s tiresome.

paintinmyhairAgain · 27/12/2018 20:58

dementia ? controlling ? is he always like this ? Grin seriously though, it's a shame people can't do stuff together in the spirit of which it is intended and have fun. Smile

Original poster
Pachyderm1 · 27/12/2018 20:59

Thank you! The main thing holding me back is that my MIL is so lovely and I don’t want to make her feel awkward. But maybe she would ultimately feel grateful since she always ends up apologising for FIL’s behaviour once he’s not around even though it clearly isn’t her fault! I probably just need to woman up and do it.

OP posts:
Mum2jenny · 27/12/2018 21:02

I loathe board games and always have an excuse why I can't be involved. Can't imagine anything worse than them at Christmas ( or any other time!).

Stompythedinosaur · 27/12/2018 21:03

We are a board game playing family - what you describe is the height of bad manners for board games. I don't think it be able to contain myself. I would certainly refuse to play in future.

Poing · 27/12/2018 21:05

Does game night go something like this one?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=smx86hHZk44

Ellie56 · 27/12/2018 21:06

I'd refuse to play too. He sounds pathetic. Hmm

Ellie56 · 27/12/2018 21:06

Tell FIL you'll start playing again when he's grown up.

Cheerbear23 · 27/12/2018 21:07

I’d give him a warning, like I used to do with my DS... ‘now FIL we’re only playing if you can play the grown up rules, no cheating and no tantrums about losing, ok?’
See if he can agree to that.

mumsastudent · 27/12/2018 21:27

if not dementia someone will mention autism or mental health! - no one can just be difficult with no other reason

SoupOnMyTableNowSir · 27/12/2018 21:33

Buy him some co-op games where there is no individual winner, everyone works together.

We play these often as there is strategy involved and everyone talks about the best way to win. Great for children who may struggle with losing.

I couldn't not call your FIL out on it though, we are gracious winners and good losers in this house. I have played Monopoly with some evil winners though and it just ruins the game.

UserName31456789 · 27/12/2018 21:34

YANBU that would majorly annoy me.

BackforGood · 27/12/2018 22:13

What Cheerbear said.

Ladytinselmuff · 27/12/2018 22:19

Why don't you tell him straight - he suggests playing a game and you say "only if you aren't going to be a naughty boy this year DFIL - tinkly laugh". Pull his leg relentlessly until he stops acting like a gigantic baby.

Or suggest a game to someone else & wait for him to ask to join and then say the above...

Or, when he starts messing about just take some of his pieces / cards / whatever and say there's a new rule for all games which is a fine for bad behaviour.

Or carry on as you were if you don't want to rock the boat.

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