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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu and ungrateful re concert tickets

29 replies

Deadringer · 27/12/2018 15:05

For Christmas my dh has given me tickets to see Dido in May. I like some of her songs but am not a fan as such and I am not really a gig person. I would happily listen to her music sat on the sofa with a glass of wine in my hand, but not pushed about going. My main concern is that they are standing tickets and I get backache if I stand for more than an hour or two. (He tried to get seats but wasn't quick enough) He is not particularly a fan either, he bought them because he knows I like her songs. I haven't said anything yet as I don't want to appear ungrateful. Aibu if I suggest he sells them on? Or has anyone here seen her live and thinks it would be worth the backache to go? Thanks

OP posts:

MrsJayy · 27/12/2018 15:10

Oh dear I would probably go and go in after the support act so you are not standing too long I can't see her singing for longer than 90 minutes.

dancingqueen345 · 27/12/2018 15:12

Could you phrase it by saying why don't we sell them and get tickets for someone you both like? And then get seated for something.

I'd probably just go though to be honest.

MrsJayy · 27/12/2018 15:12

You are not being u grateful being Meh about the tickets though.

HolesinTheSoles · 27/12/2018 15:13

Tricky one as it wasn't just a random thoughtless gift he just slightly missed the mark. I guess it depends on your DH and how hurt he is likely to be. If he might be upset I'd probably just go otherwise gush about the lovely thought then mention your back and maybe you could sell them and do XYZ together instead?

MrsJayy · 27/12/2018 15:17

If you don't want to go i would wait till maybe february and hint about reselling them telling him now will just hurt his feelings.

speakfriendandenter · 27/12/2018 15:24

My lovely husband has done this many times. He is very thoughtful but the tickets he buys just never excite me. This year he has bought us Michael Bublè tickets. We had one of his songs for our first dance. However, neither of us have listened to his music since & we have no idea of any of his newer songs. Plus they cost around £200. So I was honest & he was lovely. The tickets have already sold & we are deciding on something to do together with the money.
Be honest, and remember to let him know you appreciate his thoughtful gift. My husband is getting closer to the mark each year with encouragement

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/12/2018 15:43

YANBU

When I was younger, I'd happily go to loads of concerts, but now, it has to be somebody whose music I REALLY love for me to be bothered to use an evening to go and see them live when I could very easily just sit on the sofa and listen to a recording/download of their music.

Missing the point here, but is Dido releasing new material and staging a comeback? I haven't heard anything at all of her in well over a decade.

On a lighter note, I still chuckle at the silly comment that a Black Country comedian made about her many years ago that her name was just the equivalent of saying "Diane: stop it!"

fatoneatthegym · 27/12/2018 15:45

Does the concert venue also have seated tickets available? Any chance of phoning the venue and asking if you could swap to different tickets?

Original poster

Deadringer · 27/12/2018 16:04

Yes webuilt I am like that, couldn't be arsed unless it's a band I really love! It's sold out so no seats left, someone must like her!

OP posts:

safariboot · 27/12/2018 16:07

YWNBU to refuse on the grounds you don't even get a seat!

Pinkyyy · 27/12/2018 16:08

The last few concerts I've been to, everyone sits on the floor until the artist comes on stage. It would be a shame to ask him to sell on when he's chosen what he thought was a nice gift for you.

Pagwatch · 27/12/2018 16:09

If it were me I would tell him honestly that my back wouldn’t cope with the hours of standing
Maybe if you see if you can get re-sale tickets in a seated section then you could sell yours?

Chamomileteaplease · 27/12/2018 16:20

I would choose your moment and then have a very diplomatic chat with him. Be honest. You aren't that fussed about her and although you would have gone, you are finding it hard to get excited about going and worrying about backache.

If you frame it as, what a great idea of a concert but shall we sell these ones and go to one with seats and one which we both like, then it may go down better.

Seems daft to go to something for the sake of it. If you cant' be honest with your own partner ............

Nanna50 · 27/12/2018 16:30

I think the atmosphere of a concert is very different to listening at home but if your back can't stand up to it then it may stop you enjoying it. Does he know that you cant stand for 90 minutes or so?

If so then I would be honest, my DH bought me an expensive perfume for xmas, he knows I love the smell and knew I hadn't worn it for a while so thought I had none left or was saving it for special occasions. I had stopped wearing it because I always had a headache the next day.

So I told him and today he returned it to the shop and took me shopping for something else. I chose a ring which I love, and it only cost £20 more than the perfume so we're both happy.

Pics · 27/12/2018 16:46

He has tried to buy tickets for an artist he thinks you like and as something to do together. I understand the back issue - but it is a thoughtful gift. I may have a different view - as I recently bought concert tickets for my DH. He is very hard to buy presents for, I chose an artist that I was sure he would like ( i checked with his music friends) and he just refused to go as he didn't want to. Which meant not going out with me - but he goes out with other people to gigs. So if you go out quite a bit - yes I would say something, But if you don't consider that he is trying to treat you and maybe take it as a generous gift and go to spend time with him as a shared experience that you can look back on happily afterwards.

HariboLecter · 27/12/2018 16:56

If you contact the venue (maybe a bit closer to the time) they will be able to tell you what time she will be on stage. Skip the support artists and you won't be there too long.

toucan12 · 27/12/2018 18:01

YANBU - I got it wrong with DHs Christmas present this year, I'm very glad he told me now so I have time to return it and get the right one! And I know he appreciates the thought so I'm not offended.

Just tell him, it sounds like he isn't that keen on going anyway and might be relieved!

Original poster

Deadringer · 27/12/2018 18:30

Thanks all, I think I will wait a couple of weeks then gently suggest he sells them. Aside from the back issue, some bands you might dance and jump around a bit so not just standing iykwim, but she is not that kind of artist, I actually can't imagine standing and listening to her for any length of time. Thanks, great to know that ianbu.

OP posts:

ElainaElephant · 27/12/2018 18:35

Definitely sell. He voice isn't all that great live, Tbh.

Its fairly clear she isn't a strong singer (as in her voice isn't strong) from her recorded music. It's worse live, without the tech to boost it.

ElainaElephant · 27/12/2018 18:39

Although to be fair to her, it was early in her career, and she may have done a lot of work on her voice since then.

Original poster

Deadringer · 28/05/2019 00:10

update I didn't sell the tickets in the end, we went tonight and the show was absolutely amazing! Dido has a brilliant voice and she puts on a great show! my bloody back is killing me though

OP posts:

singme · 28/05/2019 09:25

I remember this thread! Glad you had a good time!!

ANewDawn10 · 28/05/2019 09:44

I think you should be able to be honest about things like this. Doesnt he know what you would like? I dont get the tip toeing around things like this. Yes he was kind to get you something, but it seems like he did it for the sake of getting you a gift.

LagunaBubbles · 28/05/2019 09:49

Anewdawn you haven't read the OPs update have you?

Ginkypig · 28/05/2019 10:20

I love a good update.

Glad you enjoyed yourself. It's examples like this that make you want to remember to be open to new experiences doesn't it!

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