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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it odd when people use a wedding wedding photo as profile photo?

67 replies

JingleJangle951 · 27/12/2018 15:04

In more detail ...
AIBU to find it odd when people use their wedding photo as their social media profile photo? Full wedding attire, so obvious it's such a photo.

  1. For FaceBook, Twitter and other informal social media, I don't find it odd in the first few months, or maybe a year, after the wedding. I do find it odd 5 to 10 years later.
  2. For LinkedIn and other work related social media, I find it odd even when the wedding was very recent.

True, it's causing me zero harm and maybe giving the profile owners much pleasure. My reaction leads me to question my character / niceness / generosity of spirit etc.

I'm interested in:

  • whether (and why) other people find it odd, or find it normal
  • whether my mild 'I find it odd' reaction is unreasonable.

No, I'm not planning on asking my friends who have such profile photos.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/12/2018 15:29

I only find it a bit odd on LinkedIn, that's not a social medium in my book, especially when it's not just the person concerned in the photo. I think the same of photos of children/partners on that site. I'm not linked in with them.

It wouldn't be remarkable on FB or any sites like that. Just LinkedIn.

Merryoldgoat · 27/12/2018 15:29

I find it odd too. It seems they either want everyone to know they are married rather than having their own identity

I occasionally pop my wedding photo up on anniversaries etc but it changes a lot.

I’m only friends with friends so they obviously ‘know’ I’m married and no one who knew me would think I lacked my own identity Hmm

It’s obvious OP and I think you’re being a bit disingenuous. The photo is most likely one in which they look nice and of a very happy time in their life.

spidey66 · 27/12/2018 15:30

If they're recently married, nothing odd at all. They're happy and have spent a lot of time and money on their clothes, hair and make up and are looking their best.

25 years on, a divorce, three extra stone and four kids..that would be odd.

Original poster
JingleJangle951 · 27/12/2018 15:36

Thank you for the good point about this being a repeat of an old topic TwllBach. I didn't think to look for previous threads to see whether it had been discussed before. My error, yes I'm a little embarrassed.

Here it is, I shall have a good read.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3085472-AIBU-to-think-its-a-bit-weird-to-put-your-photo-as-a-bride-as-as-your-main

OP posts:
MirriVan · 27/12/2018 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 27/12/2018 15:37

What about a couple picture? Or does that scream ' no identity' too? Or is that just wedding pictures?

Huntawaymama · 27/12/2018 15:37

I much prefer wedding photos to duck faces.

Some of the nicest photos of me are the "unposed" ones from my wedding day, where dh and I are laughing/talking/having a moment together. I paid £800 for my wedding photographer so I'm going to show them off forever

3out · 27/12/2018 15:45

I find it strange on LinkedIn. I have no photo on my LinkedIn page (so perhaps should just shut up!) but I think it should be a professional photo (I don’t mean taken by a professional photographer). DH’s photo is him playing golf with his friends. It’s not a photo I would have chosen.

BasilFaulty · 27/12/2018 15:49

DH's exW has her profile as just her on their wedding day, admittedly with him cropped out. It was over 15 years ago. It's a bit weird.

jasmine1971 · 27/12/2018 15:55

wedding photos = okay
duck-face pouting = oh my word how annoying!!

brizzledrizzle · 27/12/2018 15:57

Would you prefer this? (I agree about LinkedIn though)

Sallygoroundthemoon · 27/12/2018 15:58

As long as it isn't your dating profile it's fine!

Matilda15 · 27/12/2018 16:04

Linked IN its odd.

Any other social media is fine! I have loads of friends who use their wedding photos because it’s their favourite photo of them! My profile picture is one of me, DP and DS on holiday last summer. It’s my favourite photo n the role so why wouldn’t I use that!?

YADBU

CoughLaughFart · 27/12/2018 16:18

Full wedding attire, so obvious it's such a photo.

Should it be a secret? Confused

I get your point about LinkedIn though. I tend to use very ‘vanilla’ photos for LinkedIn. The oddest one I ever saw was a man in his Speedos!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 27/12/2018 16:23

I'm not on LinkedIn but I do sometimes have one of my wedding pictures on FB. I don't have many pictures of us dressed up so I like them. It doesn't mean I don't have my own identity!

LagunaBubbles · 27/12/2018 16:25

It seems they either want everyone to know they are married rather than having their own identity

Funny enough being married and "having your own identity" aren't mutually exclusive.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 27/12/2018 16:26

My Facebook profile pic is DH and I on our wedding day, full wedding attire. We got married seven years ago and I haven’t changed it since then.

Why? Because it’s my favourite photo, it was one of the happiest days of our lives and seeing it brings me joy.

Tink2007 · 27/12/2018 16:39

Mine is currently my profile photo because it features me with my grandfather who passed away suddenly a few weeks ago.

AmericanEskimoDoge · 27/12/2018 16:39

I don't think it's odd, no. As others have said, it's often a very happy memory, people are dressed beautifully, etc. I probably wouldn't do it myself, unless there was a special reason, but it doesn't seem strange that others would. If the couple's divorced, then I'd find it unusual (and maybe worry they're struggling with the situation).

What about people whose profile photos are of their grandchild(ren) or pet? Personally, I like to use my dogs in profile photos, from time to time... I'd rather see them when I'm logging in, and I don't really care what other people think about it. Grin

ChodeofChodeHall · 27/12/2018 16:42

People spend tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of pounds on their wedding day, and a large proportion of that is to make sure they look good in the photographs. Let people have their money's worth! Grin

tinselandtrimmings · 27/12/2018 16:47

I think it's normal to want to put a happy photo that means a lot to them as their profile photo. A nice photo with the one that you love.
Like everybody else said it's probably when they look their best too.

I can see why you might think it odd for linked in though.

puzzledlady · 27/12/2018 16:47

what on earth?! why would you care what pictures people use as their FB profile?! And a wedding photo? You need to find better things to be unreasonable about.....

Bunbunbunny · 27/12/2018 16:47

Not for LinkedIn, I've seen some terrible photos on there both men & women. It's for work not attracting a mate, I did get a creepy message from a guy on there that he could look beyond my looks & provide for me that was just y work photo so dread to think what others get sent Hmm

Facebook I see no issue, I use mine for my anniversary & my nans anniversary as my favourite photo with her was taken on my wedding day & she looked gorgeous. What harm does it do to others to use them?

GenerationSnowflake · 27/12/2018 16:55

I should dig out one of my wedding pic and start using it.

Photos of one of the best day of my life when I was feeling and looking amazing - why on earth wouldn't I?

BackforGood · 27/12/2018 17:19

Thank you for the good point about this being a repeat of an old topic TwllBach. I didn't think to look for previous threads to see whether it had been discussed before. My error, yes I'm a little embarrassed.

Lol. There are threads on here that discuss the same question week ('how much do you spend on your weekly shop' / 'children at weddings' / shoes off or on in house) week in, week out. Some that get discussed at least once a month (horror at guests not attending weddings abroad / 'people popping in vs not being allowed to pop in' / MiLs being allowed to see their Grandchild(ren) / etc) and millions of threads that have 'been done before'.
Can't believe anyone thinks you should apologies for not being aware a similar thread might have happened a year ago. Grin

Though I LOVE this Opening post, for all the 'answering the replies you know you are going to get' before you get them Wink Grin