To ask if my DDs (10 and 5) need to wear all black at their DGFather's funeral

[Helpmepleasenow48]

Just that really... they were close to their DGF but he was quite a strict man and maybe for his funeral it's appropriate they wear black or even their school uniform?
FYI - funeral is next week - I don't really fancy going out and buying them new outfits. Also, their coats are bright and colourful!

My three DC's attended my aunts funeral and wore a mixture of navy and white.

Teen DD wore a navy pinafore with a white blouse, thick tights and navy ankle boots.

DD 6 wore this next dress.

Navy is a good option.

a lot of people wouldn't even take young children to a funeral. I wouldn't have a problem, but I would try to avoid very bright colours, I think.

Mine wore school trousers and shirt earlier in the year, perfectly acceptable imo

I don't think black is necessary but I would expect the children to dress relatively smartly. So for DS (who usually wears shorts or trackies) I'd probably get him to wear his grey school trousers and I'd probably buy him a dark coloured shirt. For DD, I'd put her in a dress (she's only 3) but for an older DD I'd also go with smart trousers and shirt/jumper if she preferred.

I'm sorry for your loss - my apologies that I was so focused on the clothes I didn't say that. Losing a grandparent and parent is hard.

All black. DD is 5 and unfortunately been to a few funerals and I've made her wear all blac, even if it meant going to the local supermarket and picking up and black top and bottoms.

School uniform is fine, or anything clean and tidy.
Winstons wish is a lovely charity with lots of ideas books etc for bereaved children. Let them choose flowers or do a drawing for him. Sorry for your loss

Anything neat - my kids wore jeans and shirt/top to grandparents funerals. I don't think you should ask your MIL. I'm sure she has enough to be dealing with after losing her husband than worrying about what anyone will wear to the funeral.

My daughter will be wearing her school trousers with her black orchestra shirt next week. She’ll be wearing rainbow boots.

My two DC (5 and 7) recently attended a funeral in school uniform because they were at school in the morning and went to the funeral from there. If they hadn’t been at school I would have dressed them in darker clothes, probably school trousers for DS and navy dress for DD.

My boys were 5 and 9 at their grandmother's funeral and wore black jeans. 5 year old wore a black and white checked shirt and 9 year old an all black shirt. I can't honestly remember what shoes they wore but they don't have "school shoes" - dark coloured trainers I think.

I think asking the immediate bereaved is the sensible thing. We had my H's funeral in September - I let everyone know that we would prefer people to not wear black, because we wanted it to be a celebration of his life. Oddly enough this was something we had discussed between ourselves, so I knew what he wanted. I did however say that if people felt uncomfortable in colours, they should wear whatever felt appropriate to them and some people did wear black.

I agree, don’t ask your MIL. Dark and smart is fine.

Assuming that their school uniform is dark grey/black/ navy trousers / skirt / pinafore , then that with a non school blouse / top will be ideal. Do they have something blue or white rather than cerise pink ?

As others have said, avoid casual wear like slogan t shirts, joggers or trainers .

It’s always cold at funerals so make sure they wear tights. School shoes will be perfect. It doesn’t matter that their outdoor jackets are coloured, no one expects children to own a dark winter coat .

My DSs wore partial school uniform to my dads funeral- dark grey trousers, white shirt and grey v neck jumper. But not their blazer or tie (burgundy!)
My DD was still at primary school and her uniform was a bright green sweatshirt, so she wore her school skirt with a black and white shirt.

My DC's were both at my DM and DF funerals .I let them choose what they wanted and what they were comfortable in ,what they choose was smart and they both wore their school shoes. Neither my DF or DM would have wanted them in dark ,sombre clothing. They wore their school coats as they were both warm coats .

I think a sombre traditional school uniform (blazer, shirt, tie, trousers) can be very appropriate for a funeral. My son's primary uniform (bright red polo shirt with a cartoonish logo) would be much less suitable. My dad's old uniform (garish bright purple, white and black striped blazer, seasonally set off with a jaunty straw boater) would have looked daft in any context, no less so at a funeral.

DD wore a grey school skirt and her white school shirt with a plain black jumper to MILs funeral, as we don’t have any other clothes that could be construed as smart or formal for her. As long as the clothes don’t have a big school logo on then I think that should be fine.

I think people saying school uniform mean black trousers and white shirt surely? Or grey pinafore? My DCs who were teens wore that to my mum's funeral, in the case of ds2 it was that (obv no blazer) or his footy training kit pretty much, that's all he has.

Op I would ask the widow what she wants and really not buy anything new.