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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

taxi me?

19 replies

ivornot · 27/12/2018 13:42

so then NYE .Dp kids me are invited to his family gathering.Dp doesn't want to stay over .Which means 1 of us needs to drive .Now usually I don't have a problem with the taxing bit , but now because his family like the fun drinking guy side of him .Should I just let them all bask in his jovial entertaining self while I'll be sipping orange juice .Or should I .. to hell with it you Dp can be the sober one for a change

OP posts:

TulipsInbloom1 · 27/12/2018 14:22

His family so he gets to drink. If you also want to drink; fine. You just arrange the taxi.

Its always the case in our house that whoevers family it is gets the treat, and then if the other wants they can arrange the transoort

Lazypuppy · 27/12/2018 14:29

Both drink and get a taxi

Original poster

ivornot · 27/12/2018 14:34

ok .hmm can't get a taxi tho 2hours away

OP posts:

Lazypuppy · 27/12/2018 14:38

Why can't you stay over?

If not then he grts to drink as its his family

WorldCupWidow · 27/12/2018 14:44

His family he drinks....

I stayed sober Xmas day as we were at DHs family and he is staying sober NYE as we are going to my family...or if he wants to drink it is up to him to organise taxi.

Original poster

ivornot · 27/12/2018 15:10

Dp doesn't want to sleep over .He's kind of the main attraction when all his family get together.So likes to leave .He's totally different when sober & I think that's why his family push him to drink

OP posts:

Lazypuppy · 27/12/2018 15:12

Does you dp know you want to drink?

I'd say you have 3 options

Drink and insist you stay over
Drink and you dp has to stay sober and drive home
You stay sober and drive home.

I don't really know what else you want us to suggest?

Original poster

ivornot · 27/12/2018 15:27

i suppose I was hoping someone would suggest i could sabotage his evening, but I'm not that mean

OP posts:

TheGhostsOfPresidentsYetToCome · 27/12/2018 15:30

I don’t understand the “your family, you get to drink thing”? Surly the one enduring the other’s family needs the booze more?

alibongo5 · 27/12/2018 15:32

Why would you want to sabotage his evening? Why don't you discuss it with him?

Andylion · 27/12/2018 15:42

I don’t understand the “your family, you get to drink thing”? Surly the one enduring the other’s family needs the booze more?

Also, what if one family lives closer and they see that family more often? Does the non-family partner never get to drink?

EekThreek · 27/12/2018 15:46

We have the opposite rule. I drink with DHs friends /family, he drinks with mine. If the sober one is more likely to be left out, better that they're the one who's relationship is closer to the group.

In this situation, my dh would be expecting to drive to an event he wants to attend with his family.

twobambinos · 27/12/2018 15:58

I think it's a bit much expecting you to do 4 hours of driving. Full stop.

HannahnotAgnes · 27/12/2018 16:34

We do the opposite - whoever's family it is, the other gets to drink (helps make the visit bearable!)

tittietinsel · 27/12/2018 16:48

So what's the actual problem here? That you are staying sober to drive home or that your DP has a laugh with his fam when he is drunk?

BackforGood · 27/12/2018 16:57

I think if the opportunity is there to stay over, and he doesn't want to / is refusing to, then it is up to him to drive.

DH and I just work these things out between us - there are no 'rules' or specific 'turns'... sometimes one of us is getting up early the day after we go out, or one of us hadn't been feeling too well, or one of us realises the other has driven a bit more than half over the last few times we've gone out, etc. However, as you are 2 hours away, than that would be a 'stay over' for me, and if one person didn't want to then obviously up to that person to do the driving.

Ethel80 · 27/12/2018 17:30

I agree with @BackforGood, if he doesn't want to stay over then he drives. He has an option where you can both have a drink and has refused it.

Or he pays for a hotel nearby but you've probably left that a bit late.

VioletCharlotte · 27/12/2018 17:37

I think 2 hours is too far to be drinking home on NYE. I assume you won't be leaving until after midnight? I'd be too tired to safely drive that far. I think you should insist you stay over. If he doesn't want to stay at their house, he should pay for a hotel.

MeredithGrey1 · 27/12/2018 17:40

If he doesn’t want to stay over, he should drive. If he wants to drink, he should stay over. A two hour drive after a new year’s party is a lot anyway, you wouldn’t get back until 2am absolute earliest, and realistically probably much later - I wouldn’t want to do that drive if there was a way I could stay over and avoid it, especially if I’ve also driven two hours to get there earlier in the day.

Flip

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