AIBU to ask what time your three and one year olds wake?

[Lovingit81]

Neither of my children are great sleepers but I think I am losing perspective. DD has just turned one and DS is three. Both consistently wake up at 5.30 and won't go back to sleep but are exhausted at various points during the day. Am I alone?

My daughter naturally wakes about 6.30. She gro clock “trained” though and isn’t allowed up before 7am.

My son is a slug and likes to sleep in until 9am though that isn’t possible most days so he has to go to bed really early

1 year old bed at 7:30pm.

Weekdays i wake her up at 7am for nursery
Weekends she wakes up between 8-9am

We really struggle with this. DD naturally woke around 6-6:30 but a gro clock from about 2 1/2 taught her to stay in her room until 7 and gradually she slept longer. She’s now 4 1/2 and wakes just around 7:15. Our son however... we’ve had about 10 months of wake ups between 4:30-5:30 am, with occasional days earlier (😭) or later. Have tried messing with nap lengths and bedtimes and saw no change. We’ve been trying cutting out naps whilst on holiday just now- he was waking around 6.30 but after a few days went back to 4:30. There was no way we could keep him awake all day after that! At a loss 😩 he has limited understanding so gro clock can’t work for him unfortunately.

8-8:30

I could have written you post! 3yo DS and 1yo DD. Somewhere between 5 and 6am is standard for us. It’s frustrating because they are so tired in the day and the 1yo ready for a nap at 7.30am!

We’re going to try a groclock for the 3yo but can’t see much point as I’ll still be up with the 1yo.

I’ve not much advice, except to just repeat what everyone tells me all the time: it will get better, they won’t always be this little etc.

My 5 year old has been an early riser since he was 2. If he sleeps past 5.30 it's a good night. It used to send me to my knees but since he was 4/4.5, he's just take himself downstairs really quietly to play so we don't get woken until his 3 year old sister gets up at 6/6.30. We have them both asleep by 6.30 as a later bedtime makes no difference so we at least get a very long evening and they get their 10-12 hours of sleep.

It's really hard when they are 1 & 3 as they require full attention at such an early hour but if they stay early risers, it will get easier as they get older.

their ‘playing’ (screaming heads off) wakes myself and DP day in / day out. We’re perm exhausted.

Babooshka, a six year old is far too old to be doing this! If you and DH are so sleep deprived every day with an older child, how do you work/drive safely/function? 6 is old enough to know this isn't acceptable behaviour, not only on others in the house, but neighbors too...

My DD 3 wakes around 9.30am my DS 2 wakes around 9am both go to bed about 7pm

My 4 year old DD used to wake at 5/5.30am until she was about 3 years old. Now it's anything between 5.45-6.20am, she's like clockwork. She goes to bed at 7.15/7.30pm and is usually asleep within 10 min, although she often wakes in the night and disturbs us to tuck her back in.

We use a gro clock and she has to stay in her bedroom and play quietly until 6.30am when the sun comes up on her clock, although she always comes through to our room to tell us she's awake . It took several months and a lot of tantrums to get her to this arrangement but now she's older I think it's only fair we can chill in bed at weekends or get showered and dressed for work before having to get her ready.

Took a couple of years to accept she is never going to be a late sleeper, had advice from health visitor, tried different approaches etc but just think this is the way her body is wired and we go to bed early to compensate.

Our 1 year old regularly sleeps until 7/7.30am. Heaven!

slappinthebass don't you need to get out the house in the mornings?

If you don’t have to do a school run or you don’t work then there’s no reason to be up early.

DD 21mths goes to bed at 7. Wakes 730/8 usually and sleep 1-3

7-7 here - daughter is 4 and son is 2. Doesn't matter what time they go to bed. Weaning my son off his afternoon naps now as he doesn't really need it anymore. Occasionally they will sleep at 6.30pm but they will always be up at 7am.

My 3 year old never gets up before 8:30am. I don't know how this happened!!!

All of mine used to wake at 5/5.30 at that age, as did my friends' kids.

However friends from other countries where it's normal for the kids to stay up later had kids who woke later.

Seems to be you either get your mornings or you get your evenings. It's very unusual to have both.

Oh and for posters saying it makes no difference what time they go to bed, I thought that too at the time but with hindsight I only put them to bed later on a handful of occasions, so of course they woke up at their regular time because that was their routine. Friends whose kids stayed up later all the time slept later.

Hulloa it depends on the kid. DS went through a horrendous stage of 4am wake ups. So we put him to need later for months. His waking got earlier and earlier until he was sleeping 9pm-2.45am. he'd then want a 7am nap, which we didn't allow as leaving for nursery/ work etc. He'd have a gap if an hr at 1 and that was it. He eventually grew out of it. But even now, later to bed= early get up.

@hulloa I think there's some truth in what your saying but not the full story.

For people with early risers despite trying many different things, what happens when you go on holiday somewhere with a 3 hour time difference? Presumably you manage to shift your kids body clock a bit, even if not the full 3 hours? So it isn't impossible to shift their body clocks, just hard work. Anyone agree?

jellygumboots not in the fortnight we were away. We just ended up in a weird schedule and let him have a nap too. DS has a very set body clock which there is very little external control of.

Mine is 2 and he goes to bed at 7pm and is up at 5am
I have decided to accept it and go to bed at 8/9
He also wakes a few times in the night and this is the best we have had so far, so not complaining

Mine used to coo in cot for quite a while or in bed with us. When older it was difficult to wake him up even to go to school! However that was lovely at weekends and on days off. None of us are by nature early risers.

If a baby wakes at 5am it's usually because they need changing and a drink or feeding but generally they cuddle up and go back to sleep. I used to like that.

I think the mistake people make is you can’t just move bedtime later (or rather it often doesnt really work) you need to move it all. So you can’t give them dinner at 5 and then expect them to be ok through to 9 or something for breakfast.

Anyway I say that like I’m an expert, DS has never been a great sleeper! He’s ok now at 4. 10.5 hours seems to be his max pretty much though so I go for 7.30-6. That gives me an evening and some time in the morning before I work.

I was always an early riser and even now 8 is a major lie in! My daughter (5) will sleep until 10 if allowed to!

6am is a lie in for us... Was 5am this morning. Gro clock is set to 6:30, but he just turns it on. Might nap if we're in the car, otherwise he's none stop all day. He's 4 now, but has always been an early riser (the 4am period was a killer!). Goes to bed without issue by 7pm and sleeps like a log until morning, so I can't really complain.

DD is 3 and a half.

3 days a week I have to wake her at 6.45 for Nursery. On the other days she stays in her room until I get her at 8am, she's usually just waking up then.

I know I am very lucky as she hasn't woke in the night at all since she was 6 weeks old.