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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To really love being a single parent at Christmas

49 replies

Kikipost · 27/12/2018 06:47

Christmas was me and my two children (8 and 5)

No drama. No arguments. No resentments. No grudges. No hissed arguments. No stress.

Just me and my children. Our little gang. We opened stockings, for breakfasts they had the treat cereal i had brought them for Xmas whilst I just had a yoghurt - so no big washing up afterwards. Instead they played with stocking bits whilst I pottered.
Then we got dressed and opened some sack presents. They were incredibly excited about giving me their present they’d got with their dad (my ex) for me.
Then we did their jigsaws and then raced mario karts on my son’s new wii. I prepared lunch (mainly from marks other than the roasties and my daughter’s all time fav of honey roasted carrots), we ate and then did an entire 24 pack of crackers in one session!
Then more presents.
Then a really lovely walk, involving the two of them having a nerf laser gun battle.
Then I did left overs and pizza in front of Home alone 2. They then had baths with their bath fizzing bombs.
They were in bed usual time of 7.30, at which point I had a mug of horlicks and watched bird box.

Much the same yesterday.

Today I’m going to yoga for an hour whilst they sit in reception watching a film on the iPad, then home for lunch then I’ve booked local theatre show of wizard kid oz, then swing in to friend’s home on walk back from town for a glass of mulled wine, then back home for dinner and bed.

I’m so happy. On paper it looks tragic. Both parents deceased. I’m divorced. No close family.
But actually - it’s bloody marvellous.

OP posts:
sheldonstwin · 27/12/2018 08:04

Good for you, OP. It's hell getting there, but once you're there it's fantastic xx

Kikipost · 27/12/2018 08:05

snide comments

?

I can’t see anything snide in the comments. Enquiries about the children’s father, which is to be expected

OP posts:
villainousbroodmare · 27/12/2018 08:06

That sounds like a peaceful and enjoyable way to spend time!

MessyBun247 · 27/12/2018 08:10

Sounds great OP Smile

Being a single parent has plenty of positives. The only thing I don’t like is the financial stress of not having another income to the household. Other than that it’s good, no atmosphere, no grumpy man in the house, no extra mess, being able to make all the decisions.

Enjoy!

jessstan2 · 27/12/2018 08:11

A very encouraging post, Kikipost. I feel quite cheered by it.
You certainly are blessed, I'm so glad you and your children had a good time.
Flowers

YankeeCandlePong · 27/12/2018 08:25

Some people just can't bear to see a single mum succeed

Confused
BitchQueen90 · 27/12/2018 08:29

I enjoy being a single parent all year round!

My DS spent Christmas with his dad this year. He dropped him back off yesterday. I'm off work until the 2nd so now I've got a week off with DS. Can't wait!

cookiemon666 · 27/12/2018 08:38

This was my 3RD Christmas as a single parent. Christmas day involved a walk on the beach, dinner cooked between myself and my oldest daughter, way to much tv watched and massive amounts of snuggles. Unfortunately boxing day I was back at work. My amazing kids cooked dinner for me for when I finished work.
I feel very blessed as the last year has been horrendous. My ex chooses not to see his kids, but regardless my kids are amazing.x

Purplejay · 27/12/2018 08:40

Sounds really lovely. My son is 12. My ex came Xmas eve and left Xmas day tea time. We didn’t row and he was appreciative. It was a little odd but went as well as it could have. I was a little sad when he had gone and that we have no other family. I tend to come on here if I am feeling down, read all the family drama and angst and feel relieved it isn’t me and that when my parents and MIL was alive we had a nice time. I miss them though.

Boxing Day was lovely. Completely relaxed. I didn’t get dressed until 2 and then walked the dogs. In the morning I booked our hotel for our summer holiday. Watched some Big Bang theory with DS. Ate at all the wrong times just when we felt like it. DS played Xbox and chatted with friends. I was back in bed with my iPad at 8pm. It is so rare I have a day where I just relax. Bliss 😊

CarolDanvers · 27/12/2018 08:46

I’m a single parent too. Love our Christmases without the drama and stress ex H and his family used to bring. He ruined every Christmas for ten years with his drinking and demands and fight picking. My family aren’t much better so we don’t bother with them either. Our Christmas looked much like yours OP only my kids are older. I even managed to get out for a 5 km run in the afternoon, which I love doing as everywhere is quiet and empty on Christmas Day.

ChachachaBoom · 27/12/2018 08:48

You sound like a lovely mum

Rayn · 27/12/2018 09:17

Sounds lovely. I stayed in a bad marriage for years as I was scared of times like Christmas, holidays etc.

Really positive post. We need more of these on MN x

PeevedOfPortishead · 27/12/2018 09:19

Kiki I totally agree, like you I'm a single mum with no parents. I absolutely lovely Christmas with just me and the children - no stress, no hassle. We eat what we want when we're ready to eat it. Get dressed to take the dog out and then sharp back into jammies!

This year however my ex asked to Disney Dad the children for the first time ever so I've been on my own. Again, utter bliss. I read, I watched TV, I did sport, put some miles on the dog, ate cheese, drank prosecco - and again, utter bliss!

This will certainly upset some Grin - but I think it helps if you're comfortable in your own skin are happy to do your own thing.

SatsumaFan · 27/12/2018 09:39

I'm actually envious of you OP! Dh has a tendency to be grumpy/angry and there can be an atmosphere. I was glad he went back to work this morning so it's just me and my boys (almost 5 and 8). We relax more when he's not here and I'm a more laid-back parent.

One of my good friends is a single parent but on very good terms with her ex/kids' Father. She had a great Xmas Day then on Boxing Day they go to their Dad's and she blitzed the house clean then had a pamper bath and relaxed on her own for an evening...sounds like heaven!

(Fyi I was raised by a single Mum and I had a very happy childhood).

IdentifyasTired · 27/12/2018 09:47

Doesn't seem tragic at all. Sounds wonderful! Merry Christmas!

SavageBeauty73 · 27/12/2018 10:10

I'm a single parent too although my kids are 16 and 13. Christmas has been lovely; no drama, rows. Totally chilled.

I'm thinking about going to yoga tomorrow. I have eaten far too much cheese!!!!!

Howdidweenduphere · 27/12/2018 10:12

Sounds perfect op. There is no right or wrong way to do Christmas. Mine has been pretty rubbish tbh and I'm wondering if this time next year I might just be in your shoes

buttyblahblah · 27/12/2018 10:14

You watched Bird Box by yourself! I watched it last night, made me very tense and had nightmares!

Your Christmas sounds lovely.

CandyCreeper · 27/12/2018 10:15

It would be nice to feel like this aswell but I struggled over xmas. Didnt hear from ex either despite 4 kids with him. Glad you had a nice xmas though Smile

thighofrelief · 27/12/2018 10:17

I love being a single parent all year round. It's so peaceful and any troubles are dealt with by a normal person - me. And no in laws - yay!

Girlicorne · 27/12/2018 10:20

This sounds absolutely perfect! The massive family xmas dinner with the associated stress, drama and falling out isnt for me either!

GenerationSnowflake · 27/12/2018 10:33
Star

This is exactly what Christmas should be all about, the best one for you.
Quiet, busy, abroad, busy or quiet, it doesn't matter.

OP it's lovely that someone on MN is finally not competing with the joneses and happy with their choices instead of bitching or ranting about nonsense. I hope you have a lovely New Year too.

askmenothing · 27/12/2018 10:43

This was my first Christmas as a single parent and I actually had a brilliant time, no pressure, no worries. Me and DD6 had a lovely day. Went to my dad's yesterday. It's been been relaxing and perfect. We have had better ones but I enjoyed this much more than I expected. Love it OP

Kikipost · 27/12/2018 19:23

I have loved reading these posts.
So many single parents out there bucking the image of the poor broken one parent family by actually giving their children an utterly wonderful completely tension free relaxed Christmas. I love it!

Sad to hear about those enduring difficulty christmases though.

OP posts:
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